~bleeding is his means of crying~

Gravity - Ch1

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:48:57 GMT

Title: Gravity
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 01/?
Genre: failage!humor, romance, drama
Rating: R
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Getting married to Jung Yunho - Jaejoong thougt it was a dream come true. Little did he know, it was only the beginning of his nightmares.
Beta: None
Notes: n/a

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

There’s a thin line between real and make believe;

Some couldn’t see, others refuse to.

For the next few hours, Jaejoong decided he’d be ditching his sneakers, torn jeans and shirt. He even took off some of his piercings. He wanted to look presentable for the night and not his usual disheveled self. Although his hair was still honey blonde, at least he made an effort to comb the locks – for once.

With all honesty, he couldn’t remember the last time he neatly combed his hair. He had always gone for either the no-comb hairstyle or the just-got-off-the-bed hairstyle. The latter was what many would call sex hair. But since Jaejoong was practically a virgin with a flying capital ‘v’, he couldn’t call it that. Thus, he put his excess creativity to good use and named his hairstyles by himself. And at the moment, he was sporting the I’m-going-to-meet-Yunho hairstyle.

It had been two years. And he was, finally, meeting him again. Yay! Not that they have actually met before though.

Jaejoong sulked. He hadn’t even got the chance to exchange a single word with the guy. Talk about unfortunate. Sure he had passed Yunho by along the corridor a few times two years ago and of course, that baseball incident – but that was it. He couldn’t even look at the guy whenever Yunho was within Jaejoong’s 6.798478 feet danger zone. He could only hope that Yunho wouldn’t recognize him as the kiddo who couldn’t evade a flying ball.

Aside from his parents and a few close friends, no one else knew about his infatuation over the older guy. It wasn’t something he’d go around telling the whole world. Besides, his feelings weren’t that deep and he didn’t want Yunho to know. Although he really liked him, painting was still his first love.

“Honey, you ready?”

Jaejoong heard his mother following a few light knocks.

“Almost, eomma.”

“Hurry up. You’re dad’s waiting. We don’t want to be late for the engagement party and you don’t want to give a bad first impression, do you?”

“Done!!!”

---

Although he was reluctant to the idea, Yunho knew he didn’t have a say on it. Once his father had decided, there was no bending what he wanted. Talk about nuisance.

He glared at the side mirror as he was about to turn in a corner heading to the venue. Yes, he had been forced to a few dinner parties before, but not even once had he gone to his own party. Social gatherings weren’t really his thing and he thought they’ll never be. It just didn’t occur to him how a pack of strangers who were after your dollars could be fun. That wasn’t how Yunho spelled fun. Then again, he had no idea how it should spell.

Upon arriving at the hall where his engagement will be held, he heaved a sigh. He wished it was over before it could even start.

---

“Yah!” Jaejoong threw his friend a half-hearted glare as the brunette laughed his heart out.

“Seriously. You have to calm down.” Yoochun smiled some more and rested his arms on the balcony’s rail as he turned his back on Jaejoong.

“I am calm!” The blonde knitted his eyebrows as he tried to get his point across.

“Yeah right.” Yoochun huffed, earning himself a smack on his upper back. “Try stilling your heartbeat. I might believe you.”

Reaching up to his chest, Jaejoong realized – albeit reluctantly – that Yoochun was right. “How?!” He walked behind the other guy and placed his shaking hands on the brunette’s shoulders. “How is it possible not to get all worked up when Yunho’s out there?” He shook the wits out of his friend. Then resigned said action and wrapped his arms around said friend instead.

“What’s there to be all worked up about?” Yoochun simply asked.

“I’m getting engaged.” Jaejoong secured his arms around Yoochun’s torso as he rested the side of his face against the other’s back.

“Exactly.” Yoochun remained still.

“Er… you’re not really helping, y’know?”

“Am I supposed to?” Yoochun teased.

“Aish!!” Jaejoong hit Yoochun’s back a few times. “How can you relax at a time like this? It’s not fair. Oh, dear lord. I think I’m going to faint. Yah! Park Yoochun! I said I’m going to faint! You better be ready to catch me!” He felt like gagging himself as he found his own voice annoying. “Oh god. I think I’m going crazy.”

“You’ve always been crazy. I thought I’ve seen the worst. Turns out, you’re infinitely wicked.”

“I’m – ” Jaejoong was about to throw Yoochun a six-piece set of punches when he heard someone clearing his throat – that kind one would use when one felt like interrupting. The blonde turned towards the source of the sound, only to get the shock of his life.

It was Jung Yunho. “Do you have a minute?”

Jaejoong had always imagined Yunho’s tone to be flat and expressionless. And he wasn’t mistaken. It wasn’t hard guessing that though. He could only look at the expressionless Yunho as the tall guy moved towards the rail. A pat on his shoulder by a familiar hand – Yoochun’s – signaled his friend’s departure. Jaejoong stared and gawked some more at Yunho’s back. It seemed broader and more built – Jaejoong felt like touching. If he could inwardly smirk, he would’ve done so.

Hands in his pockets, Yunho seemed too attached to the scene from the balcony. He was unmoving. His form was relaxed and stiff at the same time.

Then, it sank in. He really was alone with Yunho. Surprisingly enough, his knees didn’t turn to jelly like he expected them to be. What was even more surprising was he didn’t become a puddle of goo under Yunho’s intense stare when he turned to face him. Or was it better known as – glare? Perhaps, the simple pat Yoochun gave him the courage to remain in human form and not turn into a mess that was almost synonymous to his name. Wait. Does this mean he remember me? “Uhm. He –” Jaejoong was starting to wonder if Yunho might have a fetish for cutting people’s dialogues.

“I’ll keep it short.” Yunho said in the same stern manner. One of his hands was slowly slipping out of his pocket as he drew near Jaejoong, eventually cornering the younger guy.

Jaejoong was so taken aback he forgot to breathe. He took a mental note that from the mean time, while he was still unfamiliar with Yunho’s presence, he must keep a good distance from the taller one. If not, he was afraid his heart would leap out of his chest. The feel of Yunho’s long fingers on his chin was pulling his last string. He gulped in fear of throwing up his wildly beating heart. The blonde was forced to look up to the other’s orbs as his head was slowly tilted upwards. Jaejoong was unable to read Yunho’s eyes – then again, he was never good at reading people to begin with. Well, that was what you get for being a little too eccentric.

“Stay away from me.”

---

Getting surprised has been a routine to Yoochun whenever Jaejoong was around. Seriously. “What’s wrong with you?” Yoochun questioned as he watched Jaejoong eyeing Yunho warily like the guy was some enemy.

“Shh.” Jaejoong placed a finger across his lips. “The enemy will hear us.” The blonde kept looking around.

“What’s the hell is going on?”

Jaejoong pulled Yoochun closer, leveling his mouth to the latter’s ear. “He told me – stay away from me.” He copied Yunho’s tone.

Yoochun needed not to ask who ‘he’ was and let his friend continue with his more likely to be fictional story.

“Yes. That was what he said. That’s what soldiers tell their enemy. So I guess we’re enemies from now on.” Jaejoong continued.

“Not quite.” Yoochun never felt so much urge to hang someone upside-down. “If any, soldiers are more likely to warn their enemy to stay away from their territory, not from them.”

“Eh?” The blonde tilted his head to the side. His head crowned with a huge question mark.

---

So. Bitch thinks he could get away from me? Jaejoong couldn’t hide his smirk. Yoochun wasn’t just dandy, he was pretty handy, too. Whenever his own brain malfunctioned, he could always turn to his dearly beloved (but preferred to abuse) friend. The slightly taller friend of his had kindly and oh so patiently explained to him how Yunho was only trying to push him away – not picking up a fight.

To say the least, Jaejoong was challenged. He thought it was cute of Yunho to hide his defiance against the whole marriage issue. The blonde giggled to himself. His fiancé probably thought he could be easily manipulated. Well, he better think again. He would do whatever he wanted, whether Yunho liked it or not.

For the time being, Jaejoong decided to put his feelings for Yunho aside. Clearly, it wasn’t what he had originally signed up for, but if Yunho wanted to play a game, so be it. But then again, if Yunho didn’t want to, there really wasn’t much he could do since Jaejoong had already decided to play a game of his own. He even had a name for it – Get in Yunho’s nerves, preferably in his heart too.

---

A/N: i'm looking for an editor/manager/proof-reader (preferrably all-in-one). I need somebody who could spot my spelling/grammar errors and could teach me a thing or two with some technicalities. i remember a reader from before who taught me about comma-splicing (thanks bb~!). and i also need someone who could push me to write whenever i don't feel like it (since i do get depressed a lot and tend to get insecured/intimidated). Lastly, i would like to have someone who's a lot less busier than me.

If you're interested, message me?

join!!

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:15:42 GMT

JOIN NOW!!

Gravity - Prologue

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 13:50:09 GMT

Title: Gravity
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 00/?
Genre: failage!humor, romance, drama
Rating: R
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Getting married to Jung Yunho - Jaejoong thougt it was a dream come true. Little did he know, it was only the beginning of his nightmares.
Beta: None
Notes: n/a

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

In this world, there are all kinds of people;

Reckless are those who are not afraid of falling.

At the age of eighteen, getting married was nowhere near Jaejoong’s list. Not even at the bottom of it. Nope. Nah-uh. Fat chance.

“Do. Not. Want.” With his arms crossed and lips puckered to a pout, he sat before his parents like the good son he was. Apparently though, he wasn’t playing the good son or any of that sort. Not with his future at stake.

“But dear, why don’t you hear us out first?” Taehee pleaded, resting a hand atop her son’s knee. “We’re doing this for your own good.”

Jaejoong didn’t quite get how any of it would benefit him. Besides, he had been open to his parents about who he liked and they had been, so far, very supportive of his gay-puppy-though-unrequited love for the tall, long-legged, broad shouldered and sun-kissed Jung Yunho. And the attraction didn’t stop physically. He was so buying the guy’s aloof aura. “Doing this for your own good my ass.” Jaejoong retorted, knowing exactly what his parents wanted – a successor.

The teen had long since declared his defiance regarding the matter. Making shitloads of money wasn’t his dream. He wants to make a living out of painting or drawing; even if that meant starving a few days a week. But with the millions his parents had been possibly depositing on his bank account, that was a far cry.

With that known, what was better than finding him a partner that would be more suited for the job - someone molded for the position?

“That does it, young man.” Raewon snapped. “I never raised you to be so disrespectful.”

For a second there, Jaejoong felt his insides tremble. He’d known his father to be patient enough to be entitled to a Nobel Prize.

“Whether you like it or not, you are marrying Jung Yunho.”

The living room went silent for a few seconds like there wasn’t a single soul.

“You mean – ” Jaejoong wildly blinked hi eyes, still quite unbelieving. He was starting to gape. “ – that ” Gaped again. “ – that I” And gaped some more. “I’m getting married to Jung the effin’ Yunho?!”

The teen could just watch as his parents nodded in unison. He could feel his sanity slowly slipping away.

“Didn’t I tell you to hear us out before you complain?” Taehee shook her head.

“YES!” Jaejoong spoke on top of his lungs.

“Yes what?”Raewon exchanged confused looks with his wife.

“Yes! I do! I do!” The teen hysterically yelled, standing up.

“Uhm, son? You need to know you have to wait until you grad –“

Jaejoong whirlwinded – yes, whirlwinded – through the living room out of holy mother joy before making his exit known, also in a whirlwind fashion.

---

Never in his wildest dream had Jaejoong thought he’d be marrying his high school crush. It was surreal. He could even remember back in his freshman year, how he’d be looking, almost ogling, at Yunho whenever he knew his senior couldn’t possibly see him.

It had been two years since then. His feelings for the lanky guy had subsided – a little. It wasn’t really easy to get over someone who was in almost every gathering you went to. Well, that was what you get for having socialite parents.

The Jung’s owned a record label. Last time Jaejoong checked – yes, he had been checking – they hold 60% of the shares.

As for his parents’ own business, uhm. Jaejoong honestly didn’t know. Nor did he care. The only reason the teen allowed himself to get dragged to various formal occasions was the chance to have a glimpse of – who else – Jung Yunho. Although he was pretty much sure, he could even bet his sorry ass on it, that Yunho never noticed him. Well duh, the guy might not even know him.

Back in high school, Yunho had always had a super tiny circle of friends. So tiny that Jaejoong had to wonder if three people could actually form a circle; didn’t they make triangle? But despite that, Yunho never failed to stand out amidst any crowd. He’s got the built, the looks of course, and attitude that any sane living creature ought to acknowledge.

Thus, Jaejoong never trusted his sanity to be completely there. When he had heard of the Yunho’s reputation, Jaejoong thought that he was an airhead. But eventually, he had realized he was totally harmless. It was just that he wasn’t the friendliest and most sociable person alive. But hey, the looks made up for his social skills – or lack thereof.

Jaejoong had started to like Yunho that fateful day.

---

Needless to say, the freshmen – especially the girls – were thrilled to have a joint PE class with the seniors. Apparently, they took it as a blessing when their PE teacher called in sick.

“You ready?” Yoochun shot his friend an apprehensive look.

“Baseball isn’t exactly what I signed up for. It’s not my thing. I’m afraid I don’t have the balls for this. Besides, we’re no match against the seniors. Can’t I just heat up the bench?” Jaejoong whined.

“No can do.” Yoochun dragged his slightly shorter friend to his rightful poition.

Everyone seemed ready and set for the game. Some were warming up; some were stretching; while some were particularly gawking at none other than Yunho and his, as Jaejoong preferred to address them – sidekicks.

With Yunho, Dongwook and Siwon playing for the opponent, the freshmen’s loss was more than certain. Who could possibly beat a powerhouse? Definitely not a team where Jaejoong belonged to. With him in the team, it would’ve been better to admit defeat.

“It’s scorching hot!” Jaejoong complained. They weren’t advised before hand to bring baseball caps and it was as if he could fry egg on his head.

“Songsaengnim.” Dongwook called, drawing everyone’s attention. “His hair is kind of distracting.”

Adrenalin rushed over Jaejoong when the older guy’s finger landed on him. His hand reached up to his head almost mechanically. He had no clue his blonde hair would be an issue.

“It would be nice if he could wear a cap at least while he’s in the field.” The tall guy continued.

“Did you happen to bring a cap?”

Jaejoong could only shake his head before a cap came flying his way, hitting his chest before landing on his feet. He picked it up, dusted it off and looked for the owner to mutter his thanks. Only, he was rendered speechless when his sight stopped on Yunho. The guy wasn’t even looking his way.

The game went on. Jaejoong was wiped out just standing on the second base, qunder the blazing heat of the sun. He could only wish they’d decide to replace him, and soon too.

All eyes were on Yunho as the guy held the bat, ready to swing.

For a few seconds there, Jaejoong wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit him.

---

A/N: Honesty is a must. if you don't like it, say so.

Sanctuary of Regrets - CH9

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:30:34 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 9/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta: None
Notes: No, i ain't back from hiatus. I'm deeply sorry for having you guys wait. And im not so sure if i could pick up where i left, not a better writer as i was before, so you have to bear with me.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

It took Jaejoong a great amount of courage and self control to pull away from Yunho’s kiss, that one kiss that had him yearning, all those sleepless nights. The palm of his hand badly ached to meet the leader’s face for a good slap but his hands could only manage a light push on Yunho’s chest.

“Jaejoong, I - ”

The lead singer found himself clapping his hands against both ears as if for dear life; for he swore, could even bet his life on it, that nothing ever sounded like a heartbreak more than Yunho’s voice, especially when what came with it was false promises and fake apologies. It wasn’t long before he felt arms around him, clearly belonging to his sweet Junsu.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Junsu inquired, his hand snaking up towards Jaejoong’s locks, stroking them.

He turned to his right where Junsu was, his eyes seeking for any sort of solace from the young one. At times like these, he felt as if the roles had been switched without hi consent. He was the one being taken care of instead of being the reliable hyung everyone can lean on too. But what was he to do with every bit of his strength drained out of him.

Without second thought, he relented to Junsu’s touch, wrapping his arms around the younger’s shoulders from under his arms. He was tired, so damn tired and he needed to break away from it all. Jaejoong wished he could just sleep his worries and fears away and wake up to find that everything was just a nightmare.

---

“I’m not disabled, I can drive.” Jaejoong managed to crack a smile, and once again fool the world that he was alright, as he declined Ji Hoon’s offer to pick him up. After the not very pleasant incident at home, he was more than determined to leave. Anywhere away from Yunho would be fine. If he could just forget him for a second, it would be blissful.

“If you can walk from here to the basement without bumping to a corner then fine, I won’t pick you up.” Ji Hoon gently folded his arms in front of his chest, earning a huff from the lead singer. “See? You’ve been spacing out. I’m not going to ask why but you can tell me whenever you’re ready to.”

Jaejoong found a sense of dominance in Ji Hoon’s tone and he couldn’t find it in him to retaliate any more. Besides, guidance might just be what he needed most. “Fine.” He started moving towards the door to exit the conference room where they were left alone.

“Eight o’clock tomorrow morning.” Ji Hoon grabbed the door knob before Jaejoong could.

“Can you pick me up earlier, tonight perhaps?” The lead singer wasn’t sure if he could stand that long under the same roof as Yunho. Jaejoong witnessed Ji Hoon’s eyebrow twitching, probably in confusion, but the question didn’t come and he was thankful for it, very much. “If your sked is not very tight, that is.” He turned around to face the taller man as he exited the door.

Ji Hoon swiftly shut the door behind him. “I have a photo shoot at nine and I have no idea how long it’ll take.”

“I see.” The lead singer dropped his head in thought, his feet taking familiar steps to the elevator.

Grabbing Jaejoong by the elbow, Ji Hoon turned the smaller man around. “How about coming to the shoot with me? I could drop by your apartment tonight at eight.”

“Thanks a lot, Ji Hoon-ah.”

---

The tall soloist couldn’t quite comprehend how Jaejoong could excude such charm that could make anyone want to protect him. It must have been the same charm that captivated his band mates, he mused to himself as he watched the shorter guy’s figure from their reflection on the stainless sliding door. “You seem pretty tired.” He assumed, judging by how low Jaejoong’s head as hanging. “Make sure you get enough rest once you get home. You need as much energy as you can get by tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” came the lead singer’s short reply.

“I have one hell of a training plan ahead for you, be ready.” Ji Hoon cracked a smile, trying to uplift the other guy’s mood even just by a notch.

“Yes, sir!”

Although Ji Hoon knew Jaejoong was faking a smile, he thought it was good enough that the lead singer was at least trying to be happy. That would have to do, for now at least.

---

The leader had decided to keep himself within the confines of the shared room, wanting to sleep his anxieties away – but to no avail. Twisting and turning was all he had ever done, all he ever could. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep his thoughts regarding a particular someone buried in oblivion, but it kept surfacing back – it being the thought of Jaejoong siding with his best friend, of Jaejoong slipping off his grasp.

He willed himself to calm the hell down for there wasn’t a thing he could do with a clouded mind. But as he had seen it coming, the effort went to vain. Yunho was beginning to lose all hopes of having any sort of peace of mind when the door creaked open.

“Yunho-hyung.” Junsu called.

Yunho preferred not being seen in such state of demise. He had always wanted to be the foundation his members could lean on at the toughest of times. He had never failed, not until now. There was no escaping Junsu’s calculating gaze now, there was no point putting up a fight with himself just to appear all toughened up.

“I know what you’re thinking.” The younger one declared with confidence. “Stop putting up that façade. I’m not your enemy, hyung.” Junsu settled himself on the corner of Yunho’s bed as the latter got up to sit with his bare feet against the cold floor, his back against the younger.

Yunho heavily sighed, not knowing where to start – if he had anything to start at all. He wasn’t ready for a confrontation, not even a proper conversation.

“Hyung.” Junsu whined, tugging at the back of Yunho’s shirt as he twisted. “Talk to me, say anything.”

Whenever Junsu whined like that, it was common knowledge that the said singer wasn’t giving up any sooner. “I don’t know what to say or do. I’m sorry. All I know is that - ” he paused. “I’ve never been this insecure.”

“Insecure? Of what?”

“Whom, Junsu, whom. Yoochun doesn’t say it, but he loves Jaejoong. He loves him so much, it scares me.” Yunho confessed.

“But that’s only natural, isn’t it? They’re best friends.” Junsu took his slippers off and folded his legs under him as he sat on the leader’s bed. “And we’ve witnessed their closeness all this time. You were okay with it, weren’t you?”

“I was. Is it just me, or has Yoochun been showering Jaejoong with too much attention, too much care?” More attention, more care than I had offered?

“Even if that’s so, Jae-hyung still loves you, I know for sure. Or are you not aware of how much he loves you? I’m not sure if I should be telling you this, but he can’t move on so easily.”

“But I’m afraid my turn might be over. I had my chance with him, but I took that rare chance for granted. It might be someone else’s turn now, Yoochun’s, perhaps.” Yunho bitterly admitted his insecurities.

“I don’t know what the real score between them is, but Changmin and I believe – Jaejoong-hyung can’t belong to anyone else.”

“Jaejoong didn’t want to hear my reasons. I didn’t know I had been hurting him all this time.” The leader rested both arms across his thighs, fingers intertwining. “For the past months, we hadn’t been what lovers should be. I thought he was bored with me so I kept myself occupied with a load of work. I just didn’t want to admit to myself, that he’s falling out of love with me.” His head started to throb in pain, all because he missed Jaejoong so bad but couldn’t say it to his face. “It was too shameful for me to lose hold of his attention, so I had to pretend and make myself believe that I was feeling the same way.”

---

Never had Junsu heard their leader with a voice so pained. Hearing it was enough for him to believe what a genuine heartache Yunho was having.

“Stupid hyung.”

Yunho scoffed at the younger’s remark.

Junsu was aware he wasn’t good with comforting words, so he would have to do without them. He let his hand reach out and touch the elder’s hair, stroking them like how he had with Jaejoong when the latter gave him permission to touch his silky locks. Yunho’s hair might not be as soft as the lead singer’s, but he loved him just the same. “I don’t blame you for not knowing how long Jaejoong-hyung would gaze at the door whenever you leave. I don’t know why he does that, but now, I think he was hoping you’d look back at him before you burry yourself in a pile of work.”

---

After having a good chat with Junsu, Yunho mustered some courage just enough to apologize to the lead singer. He would take the very first opportunity to do so, and he did. He had waited for Jaejoong to come home, for how long – he had no clue. Before the lead singer could walk inside his room, Yunho spoke up. “Jaejoong, I’m sorry.” It was stiff, a very stiff apology that he wasn’t sure would get through the other man.

Jaejoong simply stopped across his room, facing the wooden door without a word.

Upon knowing that the man was actually acknowledging his presence, Yunho continued. “Both of us should cool down, especially on my part. We could settle this some other time, any time you want.” Still, the leader got no reply, not even the door slamming shut. He bitterly smiled to himself. Even amidst such situation, Jaejoong stayed gentle like he had always been, captivating Yunho all over again.

---

The lead singer had not the slightest strength to say a single word to Yunho, and he was thankful that the other didn’t force him to.

As he closed the door behind him, Jaejoong had to plaster himself against the cold surface for support. “I’m tired of hurting, Jung Yunho, just let me go.”

---

A/N: I think thi time it's true, my working contract will end this December. Let' hope my muse comes back then.

sorry, not an update.

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:38:52 GMT

but i cant just sit here and keep this to myself.

i still find it hard to believe that min an YUNHO would say such things, in public even. i mean, they could've conveyed the message to the other party(god, it's heartbreaking just to have 'another' party within the group) personally. Involving the public is just a wrong move.

and if those statements are real..

the saddest part is..

Yunho chose SMe over Jaejoong.
I just believed in them, put so much trust in them, that they'd withstand anything that comes their way.

and then this?

it just totally breaks my heart. it's even hard to type because i can't see clearly through the tears. and i dont know what to say if someone steps on me, barges in my room and catches me crying. they'd think im crying over a ~~never~~ nonexistent bf.

dropping off a yunjae dream.

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 01:05:06 GMT

i must relax.

okay. first off, i hardly get a long sleep like i had last night 'til this morning.
maybe i've been a good girls and that was why i had the OSMest dream ever.

Jae was having a photo shoot with some girl. AND HE'S WEARING A SKIRT. *blames AADBSK3*
Then the photographer ordered to give a pik-a-boo of what's under his skirt so jae lifted the back a little.
Ho comes into the picture, uninvited, and held Jae's skirt and ta-da~ it's no longer pik-a-boo.
Naughty Ho was showing the world Jae's undie-covered ass.
The funny thing is, Jae was completely okay with it and they look lovey-dovey.
Out of nowhere, shinee's Minho came and stole a kiss from Jae.
And of course, Yunho got jealous and ravished Jae's lips in front of the camera.

i love my dream and i wish i never had to wake up.

p/s: i miss you all.

treat for le eyes.

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:22:12 GMT

i haven't been OL as much as i want to, but im pretty much aware of the chaos that has been surfacing the fandom. Thus, here's a treat for you guys. feast on the YJ♥

somebody explain the last pic to me?

credits:
+as tagged
+jlie@soompi

090726 UFO replies scream ♥YunJae♥

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:30:19 GMT

Fan: Oppa, how about having a passionate night with me today?
JJ: I already have plans with Yunho

Fan: (Yunjae picture) Date, date, date~ Tell me honestly, you guys are dating, right?
JJ: I'm joking, you never know, we might be dating.

Fan: Jaejoong, Yunho is mine. Give me~~
JJ: But Yunho is a little expensive~~!

credits:
Translation credits: mandasoh@iscreamshinki.net
Shared by: iscreamshinki.net
mandasoh@soompi

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch8

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:38:35 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 8/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta:vaguelynormal
Notes:Im really worried about this chapter. This has been rewritten for so many times. So I'd really love to know what you guys think so i know where i had to work on when i got the time. and oh, i do read everyone's comment. i just don't have the luxury of time to reply them all. but really, i appreciate everything you guys say. ♥

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

“Have some time? My treat." Yoochun offered the now casually dressed Ji Hoon. He felt indebted to the tall guy for being the distraction that his best friend clearly needed. When the said singer graced the stage, bedazzling every audience without exception of Jaejoong, he knew that somehow, he had to pay Ji Hoon back. “Jaejoong and I are going out for a few drinks, wanna tag along?”

“What, am I the third wheel now?” Ji Hoon kid, the after math of the performance was still evident in his voice. He stood by the door, leaning casually against its frame as to not give away the good news in his position. Unbeknownst to the boys of the immensely popular band, he sneaked out during their performance to talk to the boys’ manager to voice out his offer.

“Nah, you’re actually the fourth.” Yoochun joked back, pushing his hair back in a ponytail, he was ready to go out. “Jaejoong has been waiting for you, he’s been keeping a close eye on hyung just in case he disappears again.”

“There’s actually no need for that.” Smirking, Ji Hoon gave the shorter singer a suggestive look, which the other immediately caught.

“Sneaky, very sneaky.” Yoochun grinned, his eyes smiling on their own at the unsaid news. “Jae!” He called after messily tying his hair in a bun. “He’s here.” He announced loud enough for Jaejoong, who was in the farthest corner of the room with arms circled around their managed while getting his thin make-up removed, to hear. Yoochun couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He almost couldn’t recall the last time seeing Jaejoong as childish, and cute, as that. The lead singer had been nothing but matured lately, taking the matters at hand like a man. It was all thanks to Ji Hoon that he got to see such sight again. Apart from the momentary distraction, the project he offered was serving as an opportunity, the biggest one at that, for Jaejoong to move on and get a new life.

“Coming!” Needless to say and to point out was the excitement in the blonde singer’s tone.

Laughing along with the soloist, Yoochun could only watch the manager’s pitiful stance as Jaejoong dragged him.

“What are you on?” The manager turned to the lead singer, raising an eyebrow not out of annoyance but of confusion. “On crack?”

“Hyung!” Jaejoong exclaimed, ignoring the older man’s question.

“He’s the third wheel.” Yoochun butted in, pointing at the man in his mid-thirties. “Hyung! You can’t back out now. You’re coming with us tonight.” His tone was suggesting as if he had one hell of a surprise in store for the manager, only, he had no such thing. He just wanted their manager to have a break and lay-low even just for a night. And knowing how workaholic, and sometimes a slave driver, their manager could be, they could use the night out to discuss the upcoming project.

Jaejoong’s creased eyebrows spelled confusion in bold letters, his gaze jumping from one person to another. He was clueless as to whom he must address his question to for the three men clearly knew something he didn’t. Plus, the fact that Yoochun convinced their manager, their manager for crying out loud, to have a drink with them was just hard to believe. “What’s going on?”

Smiling from ear to ear, Ji Hoon finally broke the news. “I already told him. And he agreed. He said he’ll finalize it with Soo Man-nim.”

---

Not only had Yunho lost count, he plainly didn’t want to count at all. Doing so will only remind him of how much of an outcast he was now. It had been so many nights, so many damn cold, lonely nights that Jaejoong had gone out with Yoochun, and now, he was with Ji Hoon, too. He no longer knew what to think, and it felt like he was pouring his mind to an abyss where everything was beyond his control.

With his pride soiled, Yunho wished it wasn’t anger he was feeling, much more, he wished he wasn’t feeling anything at all. All his life, he had never been more embarrassed than he was when his ex practically gawked at one particular performer earlier that night. But Yunho had to admit, Ji Hoon was damn good at his craft and can beat him at it any given time. He admitted his defeat as a man in that area, but never when it concerned his lead singer. It felt like a spit on his face seeing Jaejoong very much delighted by the soloist performance, especially when Jaejoong’s eyes used to lit up for him and him alone.

What disturbed him even more was the up and coming collaboration that their manager and even Lee Soo Man had now agreed upon. There was just no stopping it now. Jaejoong seemed excited by the mere thought of it. Then again, who wouldn’t be when it was Ji Hoon, the so-called world star, giving you such irresistible offer? The project could only mean more time together for the two, just like now. It was, again, almost midnight and the soul mates were probably still boozing themselves up.

And there Yunho was, back at square one, wishing he wasn’t alone on the couch while two of his members were out drinking with a stranger. He wished he could just sleep away the anxiety that was welling up inside; wished he could fall into a peaceful slumber like Junsu and Changmin had, wished the TV screen wasn’t flashing him useless images that won’t take good hold of his resentment. Wished the news anchor didn’t have the most annoying voice, wished the couch was softer so he could drift off to sleep without much effort, wished the night wasn’t so cold due to the unoccupied space beside him. Above all else, he wished he wasn’t missing Jaejoong the way he was doing so.

It never crossed his mind that things would ever come down to this. This, being the state he was currently in, though he never meant any of this misery to be bestowed upon him. Back then, it had been the right and only thing that he thought Jaejoong deserved. He saw no point in letting the lead singer hold on to his half assessed feelings. He didn’t want to fool Jaejoong and himself that their feelings were forever. He knew, or at least he thought he did, that everything would fall back into their rightful places, to the way things used to be minus the commitment. Little did he know, rightful wouldn’t feel so right without Jaejoong. A smile betrayed his lips; even his body was mocking him now.

To top it all off with confusion, Yoochun’s words came whirling back in his head. If you haven’t realized, you’re not the only one hurting here- I am too. He had no idea what to take it for and before he could stop himself, countless assumptions ran through his head. He had known, perhaps more than anybody and witnessed more than he would have liked, how close Yoochun and Jaejoong were. The leader could only hope and pray that the two had not crossed the line of friendship, but it didn’t help that such thing happening wasn’t a far cry and maybe it was even bound to happen. And that, Yunho was afraid, he could never take.

Amidst all that, the leader felt guilty for doubting Yoochun and his intensions. For crying out loud, he and Yoochun were friends just the same. The younger couldn’t possibly betray him by stealing his man away, could he? But whom was Yunho kidding? He couldn’t recall how many times he had to remind himself time and time again that Jaejoong was no longer his and was now a man free for anyone to claim. Just the thought of it was suffocating, so he couldn’t bring himself to imagine how devastated he’d be once Yoochun, Ji Hoon, or any other man takes his lead singer.

He didn’t want to ever witness Jaejoong giving someone else the stares he used to reserve only for him. And he could definitely not take watching Jaejoong’s lips against a man’s other than him. And it was then that he realized how much he missed those little ministrations. Realization came with another, telling him of how much he had taken them for granted – the kiss, the touch, and even Jaejoong’s mere presence – he wanted them all back.

Although Yunho was a complete wreck inside, he knew he couldn’t afford to let it show. It might be his pride talking, not wanting to let the world know how much he wanted to take back what he had done – oh how he had never been this wrong before. But other than his pride, as a leader, he was somewhat the pillar for the rest of them and therefore, he could not afford to show any cracks. The hardest part now would be the sight of Jaejoong, even more so if the blonde were with Yoochun. He was afraid he would break just by seeing Jaejoong; the lover he used to have – supposed to have; the very person he had wronged.

Yunho could picture himself losing his cool just by the mere sight of Yoochun’s arm around Jaejoong, of the lead singer’s smiles cast in someone else’s direction, of the sound of his beautiful laughter over something Yoochun said. It just seemed impossible for him to get a grip of himself, to play pretend that he was not affected even the slightest bit, that he wasn’t hurting at all when in fact, he was nothing but aching.

Pathetic – Yunho knew he was and no matter how many times he attempted to think things over, there was no flipping the situation. He truly was pathetic. And stupid.

No man in his right mind would have let go of another that was the closest perfection. It was Jaejoong, for Christ’s sake, right in front of him, in the palm of his hands, within the reach of his arms; but all he did was let the man go instead of holding him close. What made it worse was there was nothing in his way; there wasn’t a reason as to why he couldn’t keep Jaejoong, nothing but his mere stupidity.

It wasn’t until Jaejoong was gone that he realized – Jaejoong was all a man like him could ever need. Just a smile from those familiar lips could brighten up any darkness seven days of the week, as though Jaejoong had a pocketful of sunshine stashed in the back of his pants. Yunho could almost no longer recall the bliss of waking up to the sight of Jaejoong- brighter than the sun could ever be, peacefully lying, plastered to his side without a care in the world. And the leader feared, sooner or later, he would completely forget. How he wished Jaejoong could remind him again. And again.

---

A mild passing headache was what Jaejoong woke up to. It was tolerable compared to how it had been a few times back. He wasn’t regretting downing more drinks than he usually had. It wasn’t every night that he got to hangout with the manager and Ji Hoon. And to his surprise, their manager was a good company while he never had a boring second with Ji Hoon; the guy was just entertaining any way he looked at it.

“Would you rather get up now, or kill my numb arm?”

A familiar voice cut Jaejoong’s trance short, reminding him of the previous night from how he had collapsed on Yoochun’s bed and of how reluctant he was to walk to his own bed to how he snuggled to his best friend, using his arm as a pillow. “Sorry.” The blonde bit his bottom lip out of guilt but the corners were curved up to a grin, knowing that he needn’t have to apologize to be forgiven.

Seeing the lead singer first thing in the morning was something Yoochun had gotten used to. But compared to the previous mornings, the Jaejoong blinking the sleepiness away at the moment appeared brighter than he used to. Even the shared room felt a whole lot lighter with Jaejoong smiling up at him like that. And Yoochun knew just who to thank. He was indebted to Ji Hoon more than he thought he’d ever be, although, he was certain the man was doing it free of charge.

Wriggling underneath the sheets, Jaejoong got in a sitting position to give life back to Yoochun’s arm. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“Too bad, there’s no other way.” Yoochun could only see excitement in Jaejoong’s face.

The lead singer was scheduled to meet with the management later that day to further discuss the project. If things went according to plan, he’d be leaving for Ji Hoon’s place tomorrow morning. He was set to train under Ji Hoon and his team to improve his dancing. The blonde was aware that he was lacking in that department and it would show even more when he’d be dancing side by side with the master himself. Thus, they all decided he needed to work on that area. He might have doubts on his talent, but he was confident his trainer knew exactly what to do. “Is there any way to pass the time?”

“Cook me up a breakfast.” The younger let out a sheepish grin.

“Yes, sir!” Jaejoong got off the bed and noticed that he was still wearing his clothes from the previous day. “Let me change for a while.” With the slightest care, he lift his shirt up, throwing the discarded top somewhere before his pants went through the same fate. He walked to his dresser only in his underwear to fish a set of fresh and more comfortable clothes. Settling for a tank top and a pair of loose trousers, he was ready to jump-start his day. “See you in 20 minutes.” He winked before disappearing behind the door.

Once he reached the kitchen and adjoined dining room, he was left to wonder where Yunho could be. The leader would always be sitting on the left side of the table closest to the corner, sipping his sweet black coffee. But that day, surprisingly, Yunho was nowhere in sight. He mused for a while but upon remembering the promised breakfast for Yoochun, he brushed the thought off and rummaged the cupboard for the frying pan.

As promised, the table was set in twenty minutes. “Wake everyone up for me.” Jaejoong instructed his best friend who just showed up, yawning.

Yoochun did as he was told, shaking the remnants of the late night out as he walked his way to the other room. Without bothering to knock, he intruded the three members’ bedroom. “Jae cooked up a feast. Get up before I empty those plates.” There was a slightest bit of threat in his tone but it was enough to awaken the youngest two, especially Changmin who had been complaining how he missed Jaejoong’s dishes. The two raced to the dining room, while Yunho remained immobile, lying with his stomach flat on the bed, leaving the leader and Yoochun alone.

That was when he recalled the previous night. Guilt planted its fangs at a good surface of his neck as he remembered turning Yunho down the very moment the leader asked for his help. He didn’t even let the guy explain. Sighing, he knew he had to make it up to the leader. “Yunho?”

“Later.” The leader replied as soon as he heard is name. He made no other movement, silently telling Yoochun that he didn’t want to be bothered.

“About last night.” Yoochun tried to get the other to talk to him.

“Forget it.” There was a commanding tone in the leader’s words; something he couldn’t remember hearing and before he realized, he was already outside the door, leaving Yunho alone. He walked back to the dining room with his mood dropped a few notches. Upon making it back to the others, he was met by the blonde smiling up at him while sitting with Changmin and Junsu.

“Where’s Yunho?” Jaejoong inquired.

“He said he’d eat later.”

Changmin’s lip puckered as his nose scrunched up. “I thought the five of us could finally eat together.”

“Yunho-hyung was up late last night. Let him sleep. Besides, Jaejoong-hyung will cook for us again tomorrow, right?” It was more of a request than a question- that was Kim Junsu for you.

With Junsu beaming at him, Jaejoong didn’t have the heart to say no. “Of course.”

“Do you think Appa would like a breakfast in bed?” Changmin spoke his mind, munching on the fried rice.

Junsu idly commented, “Sounds good, he can eat as soon as he wants too.”

“Alright, I’ll go prepare it.” The eldest abruptly stood up from his seat, fetching a tray from the cupboard. He couldn’t dredge up the last time he did this for Yunho and he sort of, sort of, missed it. It had been on one of those rare moments that Yunho would pout his way or tickle Jaejoong’s side just to get the blonde prepare him a breakfast in bed. It was sweet, and sure was unforgettable, but Jaejoong was starting to admit that those moments weren’t happening ever again. He wasn’t losing hope; he was only learning to let go. “Done.” He announced as soon as everything was ready.

“I’ll take it to him.” Yoochun offered, grabbing the opportunity to somehow make it up to Yunho. He placed his chopsticks down, then stood up and took the tray of food from the lead singer. “Go ahead and eat, before Min can empty the plates while we’re not looking.”

“Hey!”

Yoochun heard the blonde chuckling before he was no longer within earshot. Good thing he left the door ajar earlier, or he would’ve a hard time opening it with his both hands occupied. He trudged in as silently as he could as to not disturb Yunho more than he already did. He tried to keep the sound of the tray meeting the nightstand as minimal as he possibly could but the slightest sound still stirred Yunho up. “Um – ” Yoochun was at a loss of words when the leader turned and faced his direction, his state resembling being caught red-handed. “Breakfast?”

“Thanks, man.” Yunho cracked a weary smile as he tiredly stretched his arms, giving the crouched Yoochun two heavy pats on the back before turning back to his previous position. “I’ll eat later.”

“’Kay. The boys want you in the dining room tomorrow morning. Changmin was just complaining how we no longer get to eat together. Besides, it might be Jae’s last day before he leaves for his training.” The younger filled Yunho in of what the leader was missing. The leader hadn’t been mingling with the rest of them lately thus, the guy got rather left out.

“Jaejoong is leaving?” Yunho frantically turned on his bed once again, now with an astounded crease on his forehead.

“It hasn’t been finalized, but we’ll find out today.” There was no chance that Yoochun could ever miss the anxiety that showed not only on the leader’s features but in his tone as well. Then again, Yunho had been nothing but anxious lately. He can’t even recall the last time he saw the leader smile that smile of his that swept Jaejoong off his pretty feet.

“What for?” Yunho was now sitting up on his bed, sheet tangled around his feet in a twirl. He never felt so awake, it was as though he was awoken by a pale of cold water splashed on him.

“He was supposed to train under Ji Hoon’s wing. You know our Jaejoong needs to work on his dancing.” Yoochun spilled, albeit uncertain whether he should tell the leader or not, knowing it would only heighten the leader’s anxiety. But through all these, one thing was confirmed. And Yoochun wasn’t telling anyone until the people concerned settled the issue themselves. Besides, he couldn’t always interfere, could he?

“Is that so.” Yunho’s tone was plain and he was more than clueless as to what to take it for: an opportunity to forget Jaejoong while he was away, or a chance to miss the lead singer all the more. And he couldn’t begin to comprehend how Yoochun could just let Jaejoong go with another man just like that. Did he not harbor enough feelings for the lead singer like he thought Jaejoong deserved?

It was clear that the leader was caught up in his thoughts. It was becoming frequent and was starting to worry the younger one. “Yunho, if you want to talk- I’m just a knock away.” Yoochun signaled his departure, aware that Jaejoong had been waiting for him, not touching his food until he came back.

Yunho’s head was fogged but there was one prominent thought whirling in his mind. “Are you in love with Jaejoong? Tell me.”

The younger froze as his feet remained rooted on the ground, quite unable to get his senses back together. The question thrown his way hit him with full blow, leaving him no room for escape, knocking his senses off for a second or two. “W-what?!”

Failing to read Yoochun’s thoughts, Yunho didn’t know what to take the younger’s shock for. It was either Yoochun wasn’t expecting such ridiculous and totally pointless question, or he was caught red-handed, right on the spot, off-guard. And if the latter was true, Yunho could completely understand, really. After all, it wouldn’t take much effort to fall for Jaejoong. In fact, it was even impossible not to love the man. Yes, he did understand, but it didn’t mean he would acknowledge the whole idea. Now on his feet, Yunho inched closer to the shorter man, his steps carrying some sort of threat. “Answer me. Are you in love with him?”

If Yoochun didn’t know better, he wouldn’t have any idea what Yunho was getting all worked up about. The leader should care less, or most likely, not care at all, who was after the man he had called it quits with. “I’m sorry, but I don’t see why I should explain myself to you.” He knew he was playing with fire, but he wanted to find out what Yunho had up his sleeves. As if adding fuel to the fire, he continued. “You and Jaejoong are over.”

“Damn you!”As his very last string was pulled, Yunho couldn’t keep his hands plastered on his side. Without much thought, his fist flew, hitting Yoochun square on the jaw, causing the younger to stumble backwards and fall on the floor.

What just happened was an act Yoochun didn’t expect the leader would pull. He had known the leader to be calm and collected in any given situation. He was too astounded that he almost couldn’t feel the pain. All he could do was glare back and watch the flame rising in Yunho’s eyes. And just like that, he knew the pain he just received was worth it. a smirk escaped his lips, knowing what exactly was running through the leader’s mind – he wanted Jaejoong back, that was for sure. But was he worth a second chance? Yoochun would love to find out for himself.

“ Oh Chun!” Jaejoong came running; his footsteps never sounded that fast and heavy before. The blonde kneeled down by his best friend’s side, taking the said man’s head in his arms while his carefully roamed the younger’s face, caressing ever so softly. “What happened?” He asked, completely ostracizing the presence of the other man as all of attention was directed upon Yoochun and his bleeding lip.

The display of affection right in front of him was beyond what Yunho could take, resulting to uncontrollable shivers taking the better of him. He didn’t even bother to try and stop himself when he yanked Jaejoong by the arm, bringing the lead singer to his feet before crashing his lips against the defenseless man.

---

A/N: For some reasons, i feel like I'm losing my touch.

Crossing the Line - Ch8

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:15:51 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 8/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: moon1084
Notes: here comes the hopefully not forgotten fic.

*._.*-*._.*ANTHOLOGY*._.*-*._.*

---

April 6, 2009

Dear Diary,

I really really really think I would enjoy going to my new school

Why? Why?

Because I already made a new friend on the first day!!

It makes me really really happy.

My new friend is very nice. And oh, he we came from the same middle school. He was that boy I told you about. The one who saved me from falling. Remember him?

Yep, that’s him.

This day would have been awesome if I didn’t miss Appa so much, but I did. And I missed him even more when I realized he would have to wait for two hours if he’d pick me up from school. Compared to middle school, I have more subjects now so it is only normal to be dismissed much later. So I called Appa during lunch break and told him that I will go home with Rella and Hankyung. I know how tired Appa is and I don’t want to make him wait. Appa sounded really really really worried on the phone, but I assured him that I will be fine and I can take care of myself. And I did.

I really want to make Appa proud of me. I want to do things on my own and be responsible just like him. ^u^

So, from now on, I will be more responsible and won’t rely so much on other people.

When I came home today, I was greeted by Appa’s hug. It was so tight I couldn’t breathe at all. But it’s okay as long as it’s Appa. XDDD I just like the feel of his arms around me. His muscles are so… muscle-ly! When I become a man, I want to have muscles too so I can make Appa feel the way I do whenever he hugs me. kekeke~

♥,

Joongie

p/s: I think Appa missed me like I missed him. He’s at my door now. Keke~ Joongie’s so happy.

---

Before Jaejoong could turn away from the diary resting on his table, familiar hands snaked around his shoulders then down to his chest and waist. “Appa.” He softly mumbled, enjoying the scent of his father who just had a quick shower. Jaejoong could just close his eyes and fall asleep then and there, in his father’s arms, but upon remembering his pledge to himself, he brushed the idea off of his mind. He now wanted to save Yunho the bother of tucking him in.

“Baby.” Yunho, who hungered for the boy’s scent and feel, muttered with a tone so low. “I missed you so much.”

In an instant, a smile made its way along Jaejoong’s lips. “I missed you too, Appa. I missed you very very very much. I’m happy to know that you missed me too.” He turned in Yunho’s loose embrace to wrap his arms around his father, plastering his face against the man’s thumping heart. “Appa, you must be tired. You should go rest.”

“You sounded like an omma just now.” Kidding, Yunho pulled away to pinch his son’s nose before completely pulling away. “How was the first day?” He made himself comfortable, sitting on the side of Jaejoong’s bed.

“It went okay. I think I’m going to have fun in my new school.” Jaejoong assured his dad, knowing that the man was worried sick about him. “Ah!” His face lit upon recalling a thing. “Do you remember the guy who saved me? From the stairs. Remember?” He followed his father’s track, bouncing off the bed as he sat beside him.

“Oh, what about him?”

“I met him today!” Jaejoong beamed, almost squeaking. “He’s my classmate! And we’re seatmates too.” He exclaimed, clearly delighted upon meeting his savior once again.

“Is he nice?” Yunho, not knowing how to react or if he even should, asked just to assure if it was okay to leave his son alone with that savior – or at least that was how Jaejoong addressed him. He has yet to meet the guy, thus, he couldn’t trust him enough, not just yet.

“He is! He is!” Jaejoong looked up to his father rather eagerly, wanting to convince the man. “Rella and I were trying to find an empty table during lunch but the cafeteria was packed. Then I heard someone call me and it turned out to be him. Oh! I forgot, his name is Ji Hoon.” He stated in one breath before pausing to recall where he left. “Then, Ji Hoon invited us to sit and eat with him since he got the table all for himself. He even offered us his kimbap!”

“Oh, so when a person offers you kimbap, that means he’s nice?”

“Appa!” The boy whined, pouting at his father who seemed very doubtful. “Ah!” Jaejoong exclaimed for the nth time. “I found out that Hankyungie and Ji Hoon knew each other when Hankyungie came to our table to talk to Rella. They are neighbors and Ji Hoon signed up for the basket ball team which Hankyungie is a member of.”

“Even if that Ji Hoon guy is really nice, I’m still your favorite person, right?” Yunho couldn’t recall being so straight to the point. With that said, he claimed what was his and wrapped an arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder before tilting his head to the side and rested it on top of his son’s.

“Of course, Appa. You know you are and you’ll always be. Why are you even asking?” In return, Jaejoong circled his arms around his father’s waist.

“Can’t I get insecure at times?”

“You can’t!” The boy playfully hit his dad on the chest over and over until the man collapsed in the bed. “Appa, do you want to sleep on my bed tonight? I can put Mr. Pokey on the couch so you can take his place.”

“I’m not letting that invitation pass.” Yunho laid his back on the bed, spreading his arms. “Turn the lights off, baby. Then come to Appa.”

---

He tried, he really did, but Jaejoong couldn’t keep his eyes open for more than 20 seconds. Thus, he started doodling at the back of his notebook to keep himself awake. Though he wasn’t paying attention to his teacher, at least he was awake and that was what saved him a fair amount of guilt. Besides, the history teacher was merely reading the contents of the textbook and Jaejoong was more than confident that he could do that by himself. As he kept himself occupied, a paper plane landed on his desk from Ji Hoon’s direction. “Wha – ” Before he could voice his question, his new friend pointed at the paper, signaling Jaejoong to open it up.

I’m bored too. -____-

Who are you drawing? He looks familiar.

Flipping a page of his notebook, he scribbled his reply in bold letters.

He’s my Appa. He doesn’t look as chubby as my drawing. He’s really handsome in person if you get to see him.

O! I think I’ve seen him before. He’s the one with the sexy car who drops you off and always waits for you at the gate? I didn’t think he was your father!!

Eh? But he’s my father. Believe me. He’s just young. And handsome. :D

I believe you. I just thought that you and him are – oh well, he’s such a young father. By the way, what club are you joining?

I want to join the culinary club! ^_^ You’re on the basketball club, aren’t you? I wanna see you play.

I’m not an official member until I pass the try-outs. We’ll have the preliminary test after class today.

Ouch. But the culinary club is holding a meeting to orient the freshmen. They said you don’t have to be a good cook to join the club, because I’m not. XD But I want to be better.

Will you let me taste your stuff you’ll make?

Only if Jaewook-songsaengnim says it’s edible. I don’t want to kill you. XD And Appa too since I wanted to join the club so I can cook for him.

You and your father seem really close.

Yes!!!!!!!! We even slept together last night. ^u^

The two exchanged handwritten messages until the bell cut their conversation short. By then, Ji Hoon could already tell that Jaejoong was just as special as he looked.

---

Although Heechul was reluctant to let Jaejoong go home without him, Hankyung managed to persuade him to trust Ji Hoon. The latter assured his lover that Jaejoong was in safe hands whenever he was with Ji Hoon, whom he had known since childhood. But it wasn’t all thanks to Hankyung that Heechul agreed to go on a date after the club activities. Jaejoong himself actually had a say in it, telling Heechul that if he wouldn’t go out with Hankyung, he’d be very guilty.

That explained why Jaejoong was nibbling on a toffee ice cream, which he didn’t spend a penny on, while walking alongside his tall friend, passing by a few shops on their way to the bus stop. Initially, Jaejoong was nervous not to have his father or Heechul around, but upon remembering his promise to himself that he’ll rely on others a little less than before, he convinced Heechul to leave him be. He just didn’t want to bother his best friend any longer.

“You like it?” Ji Hoon cast a glance at Jaejoong’s almost empty cone.

In response, Jaejoong nodded, his eyes mystified by utter glee for getting a free ice cream. “Thank you.” He looked up at the taller guy, their eyes meeting for just a second before Jaejoong looked away and nibbled his ice cream once more.

For some reasons, Ji Hoon found the shorter boy’s smile to be highly contagious. He found himself smiling at that short moment that was hardly a moment since it only felt like a nano second, only it was in slow motion.

“Next time, it will be my treat.” Although Jaejoong was totally enjoying Ji Hoon’s treat, he felt guilty for using up the other boy’s money. Somehow, he felt the need to repay his friend’s kindness.

“Next time?” Ji Hoon found himself grinning at the thought. “Sure.”

“Are you tired?” Jaejoong looked up once again, his feet taking sure though unfamiliar steps. He still wasn’t used to walking around and using the public transportation, but he felt safe around his new friend. Maybe it was because the guy was tall, just like his father.

Confused by the out of nowhere question, Ji Hoon asked. “Why did you ask?”

“Because you just had your try-out with the basketball team, so I assumed you are. Am I wrong?”

“Just a bit, not dead tired. Why?” Sensing that there was a deeper reason behind Jaejoong’s simple question, he asked further.

“I was thinking if you can be bothered to come over at my house. But if you can’t, it’s okay. I just want Appa to meet my new friend.”

With Jaejoong throwing him a hopeful look, how could Ji Hoon say no? “Okay. Which bus are we getting in?”

---

Unknown to Ji Hoon, Jaejoong could actually abuse the word – special. He was at a loss, not knowing how to react or feel at the moment as he watched the scene before him while he stared, standing rooted on the Jung’s doorstep. Like the good audience that he was, Ji Hoon remained unmoving and let the cast do their part.

Busting in the door, Jaejoong threw himself almost instantly at his father whom he knew would be right where he had been the previous night – two meters away from the door. Home, he was finally home! Although he was rather occupied at school, it didn’t necessarily mean that he wasn’t missing his father. It just wasn’t happening.

Ready as ever, Yunho opened his arms to catch the boy that he missed so dearly. He placed Jaejoong back to his feet, letting the boy settle on the ground. With his two fingers, he lifted the boy’s chin as His face inched closer until his lips dangerously landed at the corner of Jaejoong’s mouth. “Welcome home, baby.”

“Appa! I brought my new friend with me!” Jaejoong parted with his father and ran towards the petrified Ji Hoon, only he didn’t realize the other boy’s distress. He dragged his friend, inviting him inside.

“My name is Ji Hoon. Nice to meet you.” The greeting was stiff, awkward, overused and everything along those lines, but it was all Ji Hoon could come up with, considering the shock that completely ran over him.

Pulling Jaejoong by the elbow, Yunho brought his son back to his side. “So it’s you. I’m Yunho, Jaejoong’s father and favorite person.” For the second time, he leaned closer to the boy, but this time around, he wasn’t aiming just on the corner of Jaejoong’s lips.

---

A/N: It took ages, i know. D: I and my beta are both busy, with school and work in my case. I'm sorry for the ate update. i dont think there'll be any update any time soon.

i'm sorry everyone.

Crossing the Line - Ch7

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Tue, 05 May 2009 04:05:01 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 7/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: moon1084
Notes: I forgot to mention on the last update, the last part of the previous chapter was originally her idea. X33

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

Lazing around on the couch at around nine in the evening, which wasn’t very early nor too late, Yunho faced the TV screen, not really taking in what was flashing before him. He had been waiting for Jaejoong to emerge from his bedroom since the boy excused himself earlier. It was the time of the night that his son called – bonding moment. Not that they didn’t have enough time to bond during the day, it was actually far from it.

During the summer vacation, Jaejoong played the part of Yunho’s assistant. His father would bring him to his office every working day to let the boy help him. The general manager, Yunho’s immediate superior who was like Yunho’s second father, saw no problem in letting Jaejoong work. Besides, the man had always been very fond of the boy since Jaejoong was little, so everything went rather smoothly. Jaejoong had been of good help, thus, Yunho wasn’t as busy as he used to be. He no longer had to wrap things up at home but instead, he’d spend his nights cuddling with his son on the couch until the boy would fall asleep.

It had been Yunho’s habit to watch Jaejoong in his slumber for at least half an hour before bringing the boy back to his room to lay him down the bed. He always found it hard to kiss Jaejoong goodnight, solely because he didn’t want to part with him for the long, cold night ahead. On Mondays, he’d kiss Jaejoong on his forehead; on Tuesdays it would be on Jaejoong’s nose; Wednesdays are for the shoulder; on the cheek during Thursdays; on the neck when Fridays struck; On Saturdays it would be a kiss on top of the boy’s head; on Sundays, his favorite day of the week, Yunho would reward himself for all he had done for the past sixteen years by a kiss on Jaejoong’s soft lips.

“Appa.” Jaejoong idly called as he came out of his room, intently staring at a piece of paper without looking on his way towards the couch.

“Hmm?” As soon as the familiar voice reached Yunho’s ears, he tore his gaze from the TV, shifting it to his son who was too focused on the sheet at his hands. He watched as Jaejoong made his way to him along a path the boy had memorized. He pulled the boy to sit by his side, or rather, to collapse on his lap. “What’s taken my baby’s interest this time?” Yunho questioned, peeking at the paper over Jaejoong’s shoulder as he squeezed his face right beside the boy’s neck.

“What’s sex education?” Jaejoong turned his head, almost meeting his father’s lips with his own but not finding anything unusual with the proximity, or lack thereof. He pointed at a line that stated: Sex Education – 3:00pm – 4:00pm. The subject just stood out the most amongst others for an unknown reason.

Yunho tried to recall as much as he could, going down memory lane. His high school days had been mostly, though he was still reluctant to admit it, filled with sleeping in the middle of classes. But he wasn’t to blame for his attitude back then. It wasn’t exactly his fault that he had to juggle a few part-time jobs to support himself and Jaejoong; not to mention that he had to make extra income to keep his son in good hands at the day care. Fortunately for him, the day care was situated just beside his school. He could visit Jaejoong every lunch periods and those 50 minutes with his son were enough to keep him alive for the rest of the day.

“Appa.” Jaejoong, albeit unconsciously, snapped Yunho out of his trance with his tone that was a wee bit whiney.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Yunho chuckled to himself, still without an answer to Jaejoong’s almost, if not totally, forgotten question. As he felt his legs numbing under Jaejoong’s weight, he smoothly lift the boy up and settled him down by his side to get rid of the prickling sensation and also to buy him some time to come up with an answer.

“Is it a difficult subject?” Jaejoong inquired further while bringing his feet onto the couch and then bending his legs on his side as he leaned his body towards his dad.

“Not really.” Yunho shortly answered while slipping an arm around his son’s tiny waist, stopping as it reached Jaejoong’s flat tummy. “I wasn’t the best student there was, so I can’t tell you a lot.”

The boy’s stunning yet soft features contorted into nothing but pure confusion. “What do you mean ‘you weren’t the best student?” Jaejoong asked, imitating his father’s tone, all the while enjoying the waves of tickling sensation brought about by Yunho’s fingers against his lower abdomen.

“I often fell asleep in class.”

“Why?” Jaejoong pulled away for a second to take a better look at his father. “But that’s bad.”

“It is. That’s why you should never do the same.” Not wanting to let the chance slip, Yunho took Jaejoong’s nose, which was right in front of his face, in between two fingers as the boy gave him the cutest look. “An angel fell from the sky and landed in my arms.”

“And the angel made you sleepy?” Jaejoong inquired, not understanding what Yunho was meaning to say at all.

“No, silly.” Yunho let out a heartfelt laughter, earning a pout from his son. “I didn’t want to starve the angel so I worked after school. It was pretty exhausting so when the day came, I’d be tired and sleepy.” He delightfully explained, taking pride into it. “ I feel quite guilty towards the angel though. I couldn’t spend so much time with him and had to leave him at the day care center.”

Unknown to Yunho, Jaejoong had been biting his lip with his head bowed down out of guilt as things eventually dawned on the boy. All those times, he had no clue that his father had gone through so much for his sake. “I’m sorry,” were the only words he could muster.

Jaejoong’s pained voice rang a few emergency alarms in Yunho’s ears then straight up to his head. He wasn’t expecting his precious one to misinterpret what he was meaning to say and it most definitely was one of the last things he wanted. Panicking now, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s face, cupping the boy’s cheeks with his slightly shaky hands so they were facing each other. “No baby.” As if it would stop the wrong ideas from getting into the boys head, he crashed his lips against Jaejoong’s out of reflex.

The kiss caught Jaejoong by surprise as the not so foreign contact sent warm gushes of adrenalin down his bare feet, causing his toes to curl, and back up to his face that bought a deep blush on his cheeks. The warmth surfaced his chest, just a little bit to the left of the center, sending his guilt to oblivion. It felt so good, that deep inside, Jaejoong had this fear of wanting more. Aware that such feelings were close to greed, which was a no-no according to his father, he opted to bury it deeper.

Pulling away without really paying mind to what he just did, Yunho enveloped his son in an almost bone-crushing embrace. “Never think of it that way, like it was your fault. It never was, baby. Do you understand?”

Jaejoong was unresponsive for a little while as he let Yunho’s words sink in, or more like, letting himself recover from the surprise kiss while trying to breathe amidst the hug.

Still in fear of misleading his son, Yunho explained, or at least he tried, as he was unsure if he’d do it well or just fail big time. “Baby, never blame yourself for our past. If anyone’s to be blamed, it’s me. It was my mistake – no. It was never a mistake. I never treated you as one. You were like, like – If I never had you I – I mean I might – no I would –”

Jaejoong’s giggles cut off Yunho’s misery as the boy watched his father in panic. “I understand, Appa.” As much as Yunho getting all tongue tied flattered him, he just can’t stand seeing his father struggling with words any longer, no matter how cute the sight was. He heard Yunho letting out a long sigh, probably out of relief. “Appa loves me, I know that already.”

Should Jaejoong not, Yunho might just castrate himself for not being obvious enough. When Jaejoong snuggled closer, leaning his head back against his shoulder, Yunho took the opportunity to bury his face against the crook of the boy’s neck.

It was when he was in Yunho’s arms that Jaejoong thought he could never feel more comfortable, more secure, more at home, more loved. “I like it when you hold me like this.”

Overwhelmed, Yunho was. “I love it when I can hold you like this. But unfortunately, the longer I hold you, the harder it is to let go.” He kissed Jaejoong’s neck once more.

“Then don’t, Appa. I wish we could stay like this forever.”

---

To say that Jaejoong was anxious about his first day on high school would be a major understatement. But when he looked sideways, at his father behind the wheels who was almost breaking into a cold sweat, the boy thought he might not be nervous enough, at least not enough to level his father’s anxiety. It was as though it was his father he was sending off to school and not the other way to school. “Appa, relax a bit.”

“Jae, be careful okay.”

“That’s the seventh time you told me that.” Jaejoong snickered despite the fast heartbeats. It wasn’t just the nerves that were getting at him but also the excitement was partly to be blamed.

“But baby, high school is not the same as middle school. No one can guarantee it’s as safe.”

“And that’s the fifth time with that.” Jaejoong was now starting to worry for he didn’t want his father to worry to such extent. “I’ll be okay, Appa. I promise.”

Yunho exhaled a mouthful of air he didn’t know he had been holding. For some reason, he felt that there was something in Jaejoong’s tone just now that left him no choice but to trust the boy. “Is Heechul already waiting for you at the gate?”

“We will meet at the classroom since Hankyung said he will fetch Rella today.”

“What?! Let me call Heechul now.” Yunho shrieked, extremely alarmed that he might have to let his son to wander around the school, alone, amidst those predators in school uniform. He started to doubt his decision of sending Jaejoong off to an all-boys school and wondered if he had taken a wrong turn.

“No Appa. Let’s not bother him anymore. I’m grown up now. I can take care of myself.”

“Grown up my ass, you’re still my baby!” Though it sounded as a joke, Yunho couldn’t deny the truth behind it. Although hearing Jaejoong claiming to be responsible for himself was a relief, it struck him more as a threat. A threat to his fatherhood, to his position, and to his role to take care of himself. He feared that the time when Jaejoong would no longer need his protection was nearing.

“Only your baby. Your only baby.” Jaejoong smiled.

---

Upon spotting Heechul, Jaejoong clumsily ran towards his friend like he always did. “Rella! Good morning!”

“Oh! Jae, I couldn’t save the chair beside me. When I got here, almost all the seats were occupied.” There was no hiding the worry from Heechul’s part. He had known Jaejoong not to be the friendliest person so he was concerned about his best friend. It wasn’t that Jaejoong was antisocial; the boy was just timid around others and those others being everyone other than Yunho, Hankyung and himself. His friend was the type of person who wouldn’t talk unless approached. He really wished Jaejoong could get new friends in high school. The way Heechul perceived things, his friend was trapped in his small world. But the problem is, Jaejoong didn’t mind at all, not one bit as long as his dad was there with him. “I’m afraid you’d have to sit over there.”

Jaejoong’s gaze followed Heechul’s finger and spotted an empty seat between a boy who seemingly found something interesting outside the window and a boy who was chatting with another boy who had a pink bunny slipping out of his pink bag. “Okay.”

“Sorry, I’ll be checking you out from my seat.”

“Why would you do that?” Jaejoong frowned. “Ah, Rella’s worried about me, isn’t he?” He giggled at his flattering discovery, using it to tease his friend.

“Aish, you! Just go over there already!” Heechul playfully smacked the other boy on the arm as though it could do something about the faint blush on his cheeks.

“Although it’s my first time being away from you, I promised Appa that I’ll be okay, so I’ll be okay. So don’t worry about me.” Beaming at Heechul, Jaejoong gave his friend a reassuring smile. “But I’ll miss you.”

“Oi, oi! We’re not oceans apart, okay? You’re just two seats away from me!” When Jaejoong stuck his tongue out while smiling as he walked to his seat, Heechul was proven for the hundred and first time that Jaejoong was a sight to see. He couldn’t tell how and why Jaejoong could give such beautiful effect on such simple action.

As Jaejoong drew near to his seat, his eyes were locked to the boy who was looking out the window. Although his seatmate-to-be was sitting, he could tell that he was tall, very tall. Being the klutz he was, Jaejoong tripped at the foot of his table but somehow managed to regain his balance before he could fall flat on his face.

Startled by the sudden screech, the tall boy snapped his head and turned to his right. “Hey there!” He blurted out without much thought as his eyes landed on a rather familiar face, one he expected to meet but not that soon and that close.

As Jaejoong finally settled himself on his seat, he turned to the voice that called out to him just now. “It’s you!” Jaejoong exclaimed, almost jumping off his seat in excitement. “I didn’t think I’d meet you here.”

“I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other from now on.”

Jaejoong frantically nodded, more excited than ever and slightly tongue-tied due to excitement upon meeting the guy. “I’m Jae – ”

“Jung Jaejoong, right?”

Jaejoong’s lips formed an ‘o’, obviously surprised that the other knew him by name. “Yes, yes, and you are?”

“Jung – ”

“Good morning class.” The teacher made her entrance, cutting off the students’ conversation.

---

“Mr. Jung, coffee?” Ji Hyunh poked his head inside her boss’ office with grace. She had been eyeing him through the glass walls and noticed Yunho sighing from time to time.

“Yes please.” Yunho didn’t even look up at his secretary as he shut his eyes and massaged his temple. Sending Jaejoong off to the foreign world of high school was making him restless, anxious and nervous. His mind just wouldn’t stop coming up with those wicked possibilities that might harm his delicate son. He was too engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice his secretary coming in with his coffee.

“Mr. Baek Yoon Shik-nim is here.” Ji Hyun informed before making excusing herself.

A slightly aged man with emerged from the door, greeting Yunho with a smile. “How’s my son? What’s with the distressed look?” The old man had known Yunho long enough to be able to read the young man like an open book.

“Yoon Shikahjushi, do you want some coffee or tea?” Yunho offered to the man he respect the most. The general manager was perhaps the kindest man he had met and will ever meet.

“No thanks, I’m fine.” Yoon Shik dismissively waved his hand as he sat down on the dark colored couched in the room. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“It’s Jaejoong.” Yunho confessed, knowing full well that there was no way he could hide a thing to the man who perceived him as his own son. “I’m worried about him.”

“I can see that much and I ain’t surprised at all.” Smart but not rude was to be expected from the man of wisdom, always. “You sure worry too much.”

“But I can’t help it, even after Jaejoong said he could take care of himself.”

“The best way to raise a good man is to set him free, not to watch and warn his every step. Jaejoong is no longer a kid. Every father finds that hard to admit, I’ve been there.”

“But Jaejoong is – ”

“Different? Delicate?”

“Yeah.” Yunho almost felt ashamed that Yoon Shik could see through him as if he was transparent.

“Obviously, you don’t trust Jaejoong as much as you think you do. If you trust him enough, you would believe in every promise he lets go.”

“It’s more like, I don’t trust myself for making the best decision.”

“There’s no such thing as best decision for there are only two kinds, right and wrong. And eventually, you’ll realize, there’s no such thing as right and wrong. Even a wicked decision can be right if you stick to it right to the very end.”

It took Yunho quite some time to register the words and let the thought sink in. But from the very start, the moment Yoon Shik entered the room, he would end up believing the old man regardless of the matter, just like he always had.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“One last thing, don’t let the past haunt you. I will be taking my leave then. And please say hi to Jaejoong for me, I miss him already.” During the two months that had passed, Yoon Shik grew very fond of the boy and not having him around felt cold and quiet.

“I will.” Yunho beamed before the general manager disappeared behind the door.

“Mr. Jung, do you need an aspirin? You don’t look very well.” Yunho’s secretary came again.

“I’m just stressed, nothing serious.” Unknown to Yunho, Ji Hyun had been watching him all along and there was no hiding that he was indeed more than stressed. Once the secretary was out of sight, Yunho muttered to no one in particular, turning to the side that Jaejoong used to occupy. “Jaejoong-yah, Appa misses you so bad.”

---

A/N: it's been ages since the last update, i wonder if you guys still remember this~

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch7

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 01:44:07 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 7/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta:vaguelynormal
Notes: Amidst the unstable mentality, here goes the not so awaited chapter~

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

Covering his ears seemed very appealing at that point, as Jaejoong didn’t want to believe his ears. His hands badly desired to be clasped against both ears as to save himself from false hopes that were bound to bring him back down to his knees. It was a race between him and his heart, both at a speed he didn’t know was possible. If it weren’t for Yoochun’s arm around him, gravity would have more than gladly done its part to pull him down. As much as he wanted to block Yunho’s unfinished sentence, he couldn’t find the strength to lift his hands up and stop the words that had invited themselves inside him for a merry-go-round.

It wouldn’t take a genius to notice the shift in the ambiance, Ji Hoon mused as he took a sideward glance at the blonde. The once blinding with brightness orbs that were exclusively Jaejoong’s had turned to a dark shade of mystery with an obvious hint of misery. Ji Hoon was yet again, intrigued by this being by his side, all the while worried about the sudden change of attitude. He was certain that Jaejoong had showed no sign of agony and he had to wonder if the leader, who had just approached, was to be held responsible.

The last thing Jaejoong needed, especially now that he was in the moving on stage, ready to forget and be happy once again, was Yunho fooling him with his fake declaration of love. He might have been and still be foolishly in love with the leader, but he wasn’t stupid enough not to know that if the leader loved him, he wouldn’t have dared ask for a break up. Yunho could no longer possibly harbor feelings for him. If so, he was afraid he might just welcome the man back with open arms. But he couldn’t, Yunho was in love with him no more. And he wished he could fool himself and believe that Yunho really was about to claim him as his lover, just so he could save himself from another heartbreak. As appealing as the thought was, he couldn’t begin to understand any of it, much less believe.

As Yoochun held the lead singer by the shoulder, he didn’t miss Jaejoong’s limping figure and dropping temperature. To his horror, a sight he wished he’d never see- Jaejoong at the verge of breaking apart- met his eyes. The empty pool of darkness that was Jaejoong’s eyes told him how detached the blonde was from the world they were all in and he knew he should get moving. Yoochun couldn’t withhold the glare that Yunho solely deserved but the leader’s eyes were too clouded to notice his stare. He was at a loss at what to do next, and no way was he giving Yunho the satisfaction of knowing how miserable the lead singer currently was.

“Nice meeting you guys. Hopefully we’ll see more of each other.” Ji Hoon managed to casually blurt out. The acting workshops the few dramas he had starred on came in rather handy. It never occurred to him that he could make use of his acting skills in situations off the camera and he was extremely grateful for having learned such ability. He decided to take matters into his hands seeing how something was terribly wrong and Yoochun couldn’t seem to find a way out. He wasn’t quite sure if he had the right to butt in, but it wouldn’t hurt trying, would it? “Shall we go look for your manager?” He turned to Jaejoong, whose eyes seemed to have wandered to a place so distant and he could only hope the blonde would find his way back.

“I’m coming with you!” Yoochun piped in, tightening his hold of Jaejoong’s shoulder as he turned the somewhat immobile lead singer towards the door.

“I’ll see you guys later. Good luck with your performance!” Ushering Jaejoong to move on towards the exit, Ji Hoon placed a hand at the small of Jaejoong’s back.

“You too, Hyung! I’ll be looking forward to yours.” Junsu exclaimed as he thought of the techniques he’d acquire just from watching the tall man perform.

As he was left alone, Yunho found himself rooted to the ground, his feet pinned against the floor by shame. The act he had just pulled was beyond what was considered stupid. It was rather an out of mind stunt, and like many other stunts, it was risky. In contrast though, there was no room for success in his case for he just managed to humiliate himself- pretty good at that.

The leader was lost in his own reverie, wondering what he just made himself to be. He felt less of a man as he somewhat turned back on his words. He almost claimed Jaejoong as his property when it was crystal clear that the blonde was no longer his. To make it worse, he delivered it to himself when he called it off with Jaejoong.

Yunho contemplated how he must face the lead singer – that was if he could even face the other guy. Will Jaejoong look at him with disappointment? Pity? Disgust? What was to come from Jaejoong’s end was beyond him, and he had to admit it left him uneasy. Although knowing the always kind-hearted blonde, that person whom he had once thought of as a heavenly creature, Jaejoong would probably save what was left of his pride. The lead singer would perhaps ignore it like nothing had happened. And like a solid slap across his face, he feared the thought of Jaejoong paying him no mind at all.

---

“Thanks.” Yoochun mumbled, addressing his gratitude towards the tall singer before diverting his attention back to Jaejoong. If he didn’t know better, he would have assumed that the blonde was overreacting. But he had seen it all- he had been in the backdrop as he watched the lead singer actually trying to move on though it was against his will and heart’s desire. He knew how dear Jaejoong held Yunho in his heart and it was most common for one to be reluctant to let go, but the lead singer tried.

Ji Hoon nodded, appreciating the gratitude. He was still as clueless as he had been, if not even more. He couldn’t find it in him to make the sour situation at hand worse than it already was just to feed his curiosity. “Jaejoong, would you like to take a seat in my dressing room?” He offered, testing the waters. He assumed the two, especially Yoochun who seemed scared out of his wits due to excessive concern, wouldn’t appreciate passersby gawking at the little scene they were making.

“Please.” Yoochun gave a short nod, signaling for Ji Hoon to lead the way as he guided the still dazed Jaejoong. With one arm around the lead singer’s broad shoulders, he found his thumb drawing circular patterns on the intersection of his friend’s arm and shoulder. He noted how Jaejoong was warming up, even just the slightest bit, as he soothed the little patch of skin thus, he continued doing so in hopes of calming the flabbergasted singer down.

Once inside the room, Ji Hoon immediately pulled out a high stool and watched how Yoochun lead Jaejoong to his seat with utmost care as if the latter would break with one wrong move. The slightly younger guy positioned himself right in front of the lead singer, taking the latter’s hands in his. For a while, he debated if he should stay or give the two some alone time. He then turned to his staff, each of them having a question mark boldly printed on their foreheads. Clearing his throat, Ji Hoon opted to leave, together with his stylists, make-up artists and the rest. “Noona, you can join the audience.” He called out to the eldest staff member with a tone that was suggestive enough but still had a touch of politeness.

The middle-aged lady approached the singer, fixing the man’s vest before speaking out. “Ring me if something comes up.”

“I will, Umma.” Ji Hoon watched as everyone made their exit through the door before turning towards the remaining occupants of the almost emptied room. “I’m taking my leave as well.”

Tearing his attention away from the blonde for a moment, Yoochun turned to face the tall guy. “You don’t have to.”

“Yoochun-ah.”

Yoochun faced Jaejoong once again, eyes searching the other’s empty one. “I’m here.” He couldn’t help feeling pathetic for being unable to do a thing for his best friend but caress him in every single way he can. While keeping one hand tangled with Jaejoong’s, he dragged the other hand up the lead singer’s flawless arm until it found comfort at the back of the blonde’s neck. Before he could pull Jaejoong closer to him, the slightly older male rested his forehead against his chest.

“Will I be okay?” Jaejoong’s voice cracked and was laced with the slightest but obvious fear.

“Everyone has their own set of fears and weaknesses. Yours just happened to be him.” Yoochun was aware of how ambiguous his words were but he could care less, only because he knew Jaejoong understood him perfectly. “Of course you will be okay. I’ll be there every step of the way.” As of the moment, the only thing he could offer was assuring words that he’d willingly fulfill.

Clutching Yoochun’s hand tighter, Jaejoong let out a pent up sigh. “That’s all I wanted to hear from you. I just couldn’t trust my senses after – ” He paused, unable to drag the next few words off of his tongue. “After hearing what he was about to say, I was afraid that I might be hallucinating. But it was even scarier when I found out I wasn’t.” With his blonde head resting against his best friends chest, he fixed his eyes on their hands, appreciating the warmth that Yoochun was unconditionally sharing with him.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. Give yourself some time to register what happened before assuming things.” Yoochun was tapping the other’s nape then, unable to stroke the blonde’s already styled hair.

As his back found comfort against the wall, Ji Hoon was left no other choice but to witness the scene before him. Not that he disliked it or anything along that line, it was just that he felt useless despite wanting so much to lend a hand. At first it was uneasy watching them, debating with himself if it’d be rude to do so. Then again, it was Yoochun who made him stay, which indirectly meant he was entitled to whatever he’d hear from the conversation. Thus, he listened. There was no mistaking the pained voice that escaped Jaejoong’s rumored sharp tongue, while there was no denying how Yoochun could hold the lead singer’s fortitude and state of mind. The blonde went all out- pouring his trust onto Yoochun’s ready hands, believing the younger one’s every word.

“Would you mind taking over for a while?” Yoochun slightly turned his head to face Ji Hoon, suggestively tilting it towards Jaejoong. He knew that the last thing the blonde would appreciate was being left alone and Yoochun didn’t have the heart to let him be. But he had something else to attend to that would satisfy his ravenous curiosity.

The sudden request caught Ji Hoon off guard, if only for a moment. “Not at all.” Tearing himself off the wall, he strutted forward as he inched closer to the blonde who now seamed uneasy.

“Chun!” Jaejoong’s hands immediately grabbed the younger raven’s arms, wanting to stop him even before he could make a move. “Don’t leave.”

Yoochun looked down and locked gazes with the lead singer, satisfied that the pain in the blonde’s previously hazed eyes had somehow diminished. A smile crept up his features as Jaejoong held on to him and it was enough put him at ease, knowing that the blonde’s clinginess would sooner or later result in an A-okay Jaejoong. “I’ll be back.” He flicked the blonde’s forehead before withdrawing his other arm. The older singer let go without further retaliation and he took the opportunity to pull away and acknowledge Ji Hoon’s presence behind him.

Once Yoochun was out of the room, Ji Hoon took the younger man’s previous position. He watched as Jaejoong avoided his gaze and resorted to fiddling with his fingers atop his lap. Ji Hoon very well understood that the lead singer didn’t feel comfortable around him, at least not yet, but he was willing to let Jaejoong take his time to feel relaxed around him.

“I’m sorry for causing all this on you.” As Jaejoong stared on his lap, he could see Ji Hoon right before him but for some reason, he couldn’t find the confidence to look up to the guy.

“I don’t mind. I wanted to help so if there’s anything I could do, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

Jaejoong frantically shook his head as he finally looked up to the tall guy. “I’ve already imposed so much on you. It’d be too much of me if I do more.”

Chuckling, Ji Hoon gave Jaejoong’s shoulder a few pats. “I know you could do better.”

At that point, Jaejoong appreciated Ji Hoon’s effort to make him feel better by lightening the mood up, and it was working. “Thank you.” He let out a smile, finding it no longer hard to do so. “But you should know that there’s no taking it back and I might just abuse your offer.” He teased back.

“That’s okay. I’m used to people taking advantage of my kindness.” Ji Hoon had to laugh at his own words. It was very uplifting to finally see Jaejoong smiling again, although there were still traces of his previous aches. But he was satisfied, and proud of himself, too, that the blonde was now laughing whole-heartedly. “Kidding aside, I might not know what’s going on, but I don’t need to be Sherlock to figure out something tremendously saddened you.”

Jaejoong stared the other singer in the eyes, not quite understanding where he was getting at so he waited for the guy to continue.

“Do you remember my mom?” Ji Hoon got a quick and eager nod from the blonde, signaling him to continue, and he did. Back in the days, his mind was set on striving to live. Providing everyday food for him and his mother was his goal, since his mom was very sick and he couldn’t count on her. But it wasn’t every day that he had lady luck by his side. He could remember starving himself and the thought of his mom getting worse than she already was due to hunger, it made him feel like dying. He slept in the streets a few times; he just couldn’t find the guts to face his mom with nothing to feed her empty stomach.

He then discovered dancing and thought it would feed both of them. So he held onto that dream and trained hard. Unknown to him was that one-day he wouldn’t have to support anyone but himself. It was when he came home late after spending the whole day training and found his mom on the ground, sprawled on the cold floor because they couldn’t afford a heater. The sight was too much for him thus, he ran away, to the only person who could help him. He went to his previous and the only thing he could mutter was – “Hyung, help me”. They drove back to Ji Hoon’s house and the sight had shaken even his manager. They brought her to the nearest hospital with Ji Hoon holding his mother’s hand on the way. But it had been too late. His mom passed away in his own hands before they could even get to the hospital.

“It was devastating.” Ji Hoon let put a rugged sigh. “Park Jin Young-hyung was so mad at me for not telling him sooner. I was so mad at myself too. But I realized the only way to make myself feel better was to move on. And I did.” He boldly looked the blonde in the eye as he finished his story, only to find him almost in tears. “Hey.” He cooed, his hand tracking an unfamiliar route to Jaejoong’s back. “I heard from Yoochun that you cried over that part when you saw it on TV. I didn’t know it could make you cry twice.”

“I’m not crying.” Jaejoong sniffed once and there went his futile attempt at defending himself as a sly teardrop rolled down his thinly made-up face. And boy did he just manage to embarrass himself?

“Of course you’re not.” Sarcasm laced Ji Hoon’s confident tone as he caught Jaejoong’s tear with the back of his finger. “I’m pretty sure I’d sweep any girl off her feet with that story of mine.”

Throwing Ji Hoon a half-meant glare, Jaejoong huffed. “No wonder you and Chun get along so well.”

“Oh well, it’s not our fault we’re irresistible, is it?”

“Still not as irresistible as I am.” Jaejoong retorted, accepting the non-existent challenge that he sensed in the soloist’s tone.

“How so?”

“Even men can’t resist my charm.” The blonde spat without much thought, almost immediately regretting saying such thing. But what was said was said and there was no way he could get it back. “Err – I’m not really sure if I should be proud of that.” He said more to himself than anyone, averting his eyes.

“I guess I can never beat you in that department.” Ji Hoon chuckled and was glad that the blonde was regaining his composure bit by bit. There was almost no hint of the empty look that was previously all over Jaejoong’s eyes.

The door creaked open, revealing the middle-aged lady. “Ji Hoon, they need you back stage. You’ll be performing soon.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a sec.” Ji Hoon addressed the lady, who closed the door as a response, before turning back to Jaejoong. “But I can beat you in something else.” The challenge was very evident in his pitch, but there was more to it than that which he’d rather not identify.

“Oh really?” Jaejoong huffed, a playful hint of doubt surfacing the corner of his lips as he grinned.

“Watch me.”

---

Step after step at a pace that couldn’t be anything but quick, Yoochun reached their dressing room. His eyes immediately searched for a particular someone and everything around seemed blurred for some reason. And there, leaning against the cream colored wall, was the only clear being that his vision could recognize.

After seeing Jaejoong in complete misery a while ago, Yoochun had never been more determined to land a solid punch on Yunho’s gut that he thought was just asking for it. His sympathy for the leader was growing thin and his racing mind wouldn’t let him think straight. The sight of Jaejoong earlier totally blew him off and though he tried not to let the blonde see, he had this burning rage trapped in the transparent shell of his eyes.

With steps so heavy they almost reverberated through every corner of the room, Yoochun strutted closer to the leader. Yunho must have heard his solid steps as the taller man looked up, meeting Yoochun’s wrath -hazed orbs. It was when the leader met his eyes that had him stopping in his tracks. As it appeared to him, the leader was looking no better than Jaejoong, or even worse. And just like that, he felt his anger oozing out of him.

Yunho got what he deserved, Yoochun mused as he took note of the striking sadness that was clouding the leaders orbs. He didn’t need to do anymore damage, as damage managed to inflict itself on Yunho without his help. He let out a long heavy sigh together with his momentary abomination towards the leader. Yoochun inched closer, giving Yunho a pat of sympathy on his shoulder. “Toughen up.” He pulled his hand off the taller guy, ready to retreat and get back to Jaejoong’s aid but was pulled by the wrist.

“Chun, help me.”

As far as Yoochun’s memory could go back, he couldn’t remember seeing Yunho that desperate and he couldn’t recall ever hearing a tone as humble. Yoochun almost gave in right then and there but images of Jaejoong replayed themselves in his mind, as though telling him not to. Although the leader hadn’t properly voiced out what it was that he needed help with, he had a feeling of what was to come. “Hyung – ” He addressed the leader in a way he never had in ages, for he didn’t want to give Yunho the idea that he cared less about him. “You have to come to terms with your feelings before anything else. If you haven’t realized, you’re not the only one hurting here- I am too. At this point, you’re the only one who can help yourself.”

There are times that Yoochun never ceased to amuse him, Yunho thought as he pondered over Yoochun’s vague words. But this time, he was confused more than he was amused. First and foremost, he couldn’t tell how exactly Yoochun read his mind, but he did. Second, he had to wonder how and why Yoochun was hurting and what his pain had to do with him. He was clueless and what confused him even more than before was the gut feeling that it had something to do with Jaejoong, and it scared the lights out of him.

---

A/N: why, why, why, why. i actually <3 this fic a lot. it's something i'd unconditionally write. ooo~

Smoke and Yunho / Music Room (Drabbles)

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:04:20 GMT

Title: Smoke and Yunho
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: Drabble
Genre: Slight Angst
Rating: G
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift.
Summary: Try as he might, Jaejoong couldn't catch the smoke.
Beta: None.
Notes: written long ago for dbsk_jaeho

Smoke and Yunho, Jaejoong liked them both. A swirl of smoke escaped his lips, as Yunho slipped of his grasp. Smoke and Yunho, he was addicted to them both. With a click of his tongue, he pulled out another cancer stick, oh how he can’t live without it. It tasted so good, so comforting, so calming, he could almost feel it. He could almost feel him. Him who was supposed to be so good, so comforting, so calming, so much that he was supposed to taste the remnants of him inside his mouth. But he couldn’t. Smoke and Yunho, they were so alike. As much as they destroy him, he couldn’t let them go. Smoke and Yunho, he watched them both. He stared as the former vanished into thin air; he shattered as the latter departed from his life forever.

Title: Music Room
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 5/?
Genre: Slight Angst
Rating: G
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Jaejoong loses his rhythm but finds a song in Yunho’s breath.
Beta: None.
Notes: A failed attempt at freeing myself from depression.

“Once out of your system, it’s hard to fall back in.” Jaejoong voices out as he loses his rhythm and watches the strings of notes disappear from the tip of his fingers.

Yunho’s hand seeks for the familiar softness of Jaejoong’s head and finds it. “It never is when someone’s willing to pull you back. Coffee?”

Jaejoong takes the cup and wishes that the blackness of its content would just suck him in, only to feel guilty the next second. He sees his reflection and hopes he could see the musician in him.

“Music is not written for it is e born.” Yunho reminds.

“Be my melody.”

Yunho shakes his head. “I’m the staff where your melody belongs.”

“Sing to me.”

Yunho shakes his head second time around and envelopes Jaejoong in his arms and whispers. “But I can be the father to our music.”

Jaejoong loses his rhythm but finds a song in Yunho’s breath.

Crossing the Line - Ch6

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:38:18 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 6/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: moon1084
Notes: to my loyal readers, ilu♥

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

Clearing his throat, Yunho eyed the young couple, Heechul and Hankyung, who sat side by side across Jaejoong and himself. The hand that was covering Jaejoong’s eyes was rather firm as though a loose hold wouldn’t block the view. “Ehem.” He cleared his throat once again as the two didn’t seem to notice his previous attempt.

Apparently, Heechul and Hankyung were too engrossed in a heated kiss. The youngsters were so into it that they had forgotten the existence of the other passengers on board.

“Kids these days.” Yunho mumbled as he shook his head before clearing his throat louder than the previous one. He hit success at the third attempt, completely breaking the two apart. He was nowhere near mad, but he’d appreciate it if Jaejoong’s virgin eyes wouldn’t be tainted soon.

Both with tomato-red faces, the couple looked away from each other out of embarrassment. Hankyung took the initiative to bow towards Yunho to apologize for the public display right in front of his innocent son’s face. On the other hand, Heechul looked straight in front, acting as if he had done nothing out of normal.

“Appa?” Jaejoong turned to his father, confused at the sudden action once Yunho had withdrawn his hand. “What’s going on?”

“Something you shouldn’t see. Why don’t we sleep? Four more hours before we land in Bora Bora.” Yunho abruptly changed the topic, wanting to save the couple on the other side from further embarrassment. Knowing Jaejoong, the boy would ask endless question and make side comments if he ever found out that his best friend was kissing his lover on their first time on a plane. Thus, Yunho opted to keep it from his son. Besides, it wasn’t such a big deal to make a fuss of.

“Okay.” Jaejoong agreed without a question, scooting closer before resting his head against Yunho’s shoulder.

---

February 27, 2009

Dear Diary,

*_____*

This place is so pretty. *_*

I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as this. *gasps*

Ommo~

I wanna go out and swim in the sea already *restrains self* but Appa said we should rest before get all worked up. He mentioned something about jetlag but I didn’t really understand it because I was busy admiring the surroundings.

O____________O

I still can’t get over the initial shock -_-“

Pretty pretty pretty beach, wait for meeeeeeeeeeeee!! I promise I’ll be there later ^u^

*calms down*

We came here to Bora Bora with Rella and Hankyungie as Appa’s graduation gift for me. We’d be staying here for three days and three nights, Appa and I in one room and Rella and Hankyungie in the room beside ours.

I’ll make sure I’d enjoy every minute of my stay here. ^___________________^

The sun would be setting soon. I’m actually waiting for the sunset. We have a good view from our window.

Bye bye for now, I’ll be waiting for the sunset from our window.

♥

Amazed Joongie

---

With the two most beautiful things in the world together, Yunho couldn’t ask for more. He snapped picture after picture as beauty played with its twin. Although Jaejoong had always been beautiful every second of the day, he couldn’t remember his son looking as fine as he was now as he played with the seawater. Yunho could tell that even Heechul and Hankyung were captivated, just like himself.

Jaejoong’s smile was brighter that the sun could ever be with the water putting extra shine on the corner of his lips. Engrossed in the paradise, he chased away the waves only to let them chase him back to the shore in return. As the sun met the droplets of water from Jaejoong’s soaked hair, a magical effect that was bound to bring the world to a standstill, took even the passersby’s breathe away. “Appa! Come, join us!” He stretched a hand in invitation, wanting nothing more than to enjoy the marvelously blue water with his father.

“Yunho-shii, Let us take your pictures.” Heechul offered, suddenly remembering how Yunho had refused to be called – ahjussi – and insisted that he was too young for that. “My boyfriend’s being a wimp. He’s tired already.” He walked back to the shore with his lover trailing behind him.

“Hey, I never said I was.” Hankyung defended himself, yanking Heechul back by his shirt. “But we think you should enjoy the beach instead of just watching.”

“Why, thank you.” Yunho handed Heechul the camera before running off to join his son. Unleashing the child in him, he tackled Jaejoong to the ground with his arms securely wrapped around the boy’s body.

“Appa!” Jaejoong gasped at the sudden attack, not expecting any from his father. He successfully shut his eyes and mouth to keep him from taking in the salty seawater. When he got himself back on foot, still with his father’s arms around him, he struggled out of the man’s grasp and ran a few meters. He copied those scenes he had seen on movies, splashing water over Yunho.

“Jaejoong has gotten more beautiful.” Hankyung idly commented as he enjoyed the display of affection before them.

“I know, he’s even prettier than me now.” Heechul pouted while keeping himself busy capturing the best moments. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Hankyung nodding as he, too, admired the view. “Aish! You’re supposed to disagree!” He hit his lover with his free arm whilst glaring at him.

Chuckling, Hankyung wrapped an arm around Heechul’s shoulders. “I was just joking.” One of the things he liked about Heechul was his short temper, it never disappointed and gave him the right amount of amusement he needed.

“But I admit my defeat this time. I’m surprised you haven’t fallen for him.” Heechul joked, earning a poke just below his ribs.

“I’m surprised you haven’t fallen for his dad. He is so your type – very manly.”

“Psh! You’re just praising yourself!”

The two engaged themselves in a fiery bickering without failing to take note of Yunho and Jaejoong’s closeness. Ever since meeting the two for the first time, Hankyung had been bewildered by their relationship. As for Heechul, he was getting used to their unusual closeness and although they weird him out at times, he was okay with it as long as Jaejoong was happy. And happy, Yunho never failed to make Jaejoong be.

---

February 28, 2009

Dear Diary,

Ahhhhhhhhh~ I’m so tired after playing at the beach the whole day.

*faints*

It’s fine though, I enjoyed the water and Appa made it even more fun.

Although I fell into the water countless times, I didn’t mind it even a bit because whenever I fall, Appa’s arms would be around me and he’ll bring me back to my feet. But then again, it was Appa’s fault that I fell in the first place. But I’m not blaming him even though my butt hurts a bit. I’m sure it will be gone when I wake up tomorrow.

Appa said I must rest well so I’d have my energy restored by the morning. So, I’ll be going now.

Oh wait! I forgot to say how delicious the foods were!

♥,

Joongie

---

Diary,

Joongie is nervous.

It’s past midnight and I heard some sounds coming from the bathroom.

So I followed.

I saw Appa. O_O

Appa was making weird sounds Joongie didn’t know what to do.

Appa sounded like he was in pain making ‘ah-ah-oh’ sounds.

But I also heard him saying it was good.

I don’t know what was happening. All I saw was his hand was touching his… uhm… you know!

I’m very very nervous because I saw Appa without his pants on. >_< *covers eyes*

I hope Appa isn’t hurt.

I’m worried. ~_~

I should apologize to Appa tomorrow for peeking.

I… I… I…

must go sleep now. Appa wouldn’t want to see me awake at this time of night.

Diary-ah, what should Joongie do?

---

With his breathe even now, Yunho collapsed on the bed. It was never in his wildest imagination that he’d be touching himself that way, ever again. Who would have thought that international cable channels would have rated scenes flashing before your eyes, definitely not him? He was only looking for his daily dose of news, hoping that one would be available given the late hours.

Before Yunho had known it, he was rock hard and there was no other way he could calm himself down. Thus, he did the only solution he knew. He never dreamed of jerking off over cheap porn in a foreign country. But he did, not to mention, in the same room as his son. Thus, he had made sure to keep it as low as possible.

He glanced to his side, looking over Jaejoong’s sleeping form. Apparently, his sneaky act was a success.

---

Clueless, Jaejoong stared at himself from the bathroom mirror, wondering why his face was flushed. Sure, the thought of seeing his father butt-naked in that very bathroom brought back the feeling, but he couldn’t tell what it had to do with his red face. He touched his forehead, testing himself if he had a fever.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” Yunho entered the bathroom only to find his son feeling his neck and with flushed cheeks. He tested the boy’s temperature himself, which he found to be completely normal.

“I – I don’t know.” Jaejoong stuttered as nerves got in his way. He knew, sooner or later, he would have to ask his father what happened last night. Hence, he decided it was too soon and soon meant now. “Appa, I’m sorry.”

“What for?” It confused Yunho to no end. First, Jaejoong was all red, next he was stuttering, and now, he was apologizing.

“About last night.”

Yunho’s heart skipped at least three beats. “W – what about last night?” It was his turn to stutter.

“I heard sounds, so I followed where it came from and I ended up in the bathroom. I saw you in there. I didn’t mean to peep on you. I swear! I heard you saying – ah-ah.”Jaejoong imitated the tone the way he remembered it. “Are you hurt? Are you in pain?” Jaejoong tugged at his father’s hand, wanting so much to know the truth and do something to ease his father’s pain.

At a loss, Yunho kept his silence for a moment. It was embarrassment that had him tongue tied. “No, Appa is okay. I’m not hurt.”

“Then what was Appa doing?”

Yunho was starting to think that Jaejoong had a secret talent to get anyone off guard. “Well… I was making myself feel good.” He felt silly at his own answer, unable to bear the guilt of lying to his son.

“Why? Do you not feel good with me here?” Jaejoong’s heart dropped at the thought.

“No, no. It’s not that.” Yunho witnessed the sadness in the boy’s eyes and he found the sight heart wrenching. “That will never happen, remember that.”

“So, can I make you feel good, too?”

Trying to squeeze his brain for a rational explanation, Yunho took a moment to think. “No, it’s something only we could do to ourselves.”

“Ah! I could make myself feel good then!” Jaejoong beamed all smiles.

Yunho felt like crying, in a comical way of course, for being unable to get his point to Jaejoong’s pure head without soiling his innocence.

---
A/N: I'm still not perfectly fine after getting hit with depression. Please forgive my unresponsiveness.

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch6

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:11:36 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 6/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta:vaguelynormal [your awesome must be known to public]
Notes: I'm thinking this fic shouldn't be too long; more or less 10 chapters~

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

Sex wasn’t what Yunho had set his sight on when he had decided he wanted Jaejoong for himself. He was certain he had loved the blonde not just because of physical attraction but rather, for a deeper purpose. He still didn’t know how but Jaejoong had been able to hold his sanity in the palm of his hands, making sure it stayed and stayed well through the hard times. It must have been the lead singer’s nature, and partly magic, Yunho thought. He couldn’t give a more rational explanation of how Jaejoong could do such thing, soothing the creases of his mind and heart with just one touch, a hush and three kisses on the back of his hand.

That was where the intimacy had begun. Whenever Yunho was brought down to his knees by the weight on his shoulders, he could always count Jaejoong to kiss his worries and fears away. The older male had always been so giving and more than willing. Kisses turned from simple to passionate, from passionate to needy, needy to hot and soon their bodies ached for it. Their first experience was sweeter than he had imagined, Jaejoong was as sweet as he looked and more. Despite the wonders it gave Yunho, sex was something he could do without if it happened that had Jaejoong refused to be intimate with him. But to be honest, where Jaejoong was concerned, it was never difficult to crave for those feather-like touches.

Jaejoong’s beauty beneath those fancy clothes was not to be doubted. Yunho had been a living witness and he took a great deal of pride in it. The fact that among many other men, he had been the one and the only who could devour that man in everyone’s – man or woman’s – fantasy. Those nights, mornings for some, had been an experience he’d never forgot, a memory he’d never trade for wisdom.

Pathetic – that was how Yunho would define himself if asked. And to think that he had been the one to call it quits; boy was life mocking him? At that point, the leader thought he was no different from an old crippled man with that flaming desire to touch Jaejoong, just one touch would do. The idea made him sick in the stomach, like he was given a good kick to his pride. He was afraid he would be sick in the head as well if no action was taken. Thus, he would admit it now and hopefully never again. Unlike the rest of him, his body refused to move on as it pitifully yearned for Jaejoong.

“Yunho?” Jaejoong stood by the door, holding it open for the leader. “You okay?”

Yunho knew and was very much aware that it was just out of habit when the blonde reached for his hand. It was a gesture that meant the lead singer was worried. “I’m okay” he lied.

“You look pale, you must be tired.” A pang of guilt took Jaejoong by surprise as Yunho suddenly looked sick. “Come here.” He motioned for the taller man to step inside the apartment, for he had been standing by the door longer than he had too. He rid Yunho of the countless shopping bags that he had somewhat forced onto the leader. “Take a rest, I’ll bring you breakfast in your room.” He maneuvered to the back of the leader who had been unmoving and pushed the man by the shoulder towards his room. “I’m sorry.”

“No worries, I’m fine.” He lied again but his pastiness wasn’t helping. It was a nice feeling to know that Jaejoong still cared. But of course, it was the lead singer who always put the others before him who was concerned. Besides, Jaejoong being worried about him didn’t make his sick craving and shame subside.

“Joongie-yah!” Yoochun, who just emerged from the room he shared with the blonde, called in a tone a kid would use to call for his missing mother. “I’m starving, feed me.”

The sight made Jaejoong smile and forget his guilt, if only for a second. The man everyone had always seen as Casanova was standing there like an innocent kid, rubbing the lid of his eyes with the back of his hand. “I went shopping and bought you breakfast.”

Yunho turned his head to the back, only to witness the blonde smiling that smile of his that he missed. “B-Jae.” His tongue almost slipped. “I’m actually not feeling too well.” It wasn’t exactly a lie so the leader didn’t feel any sort of guilt in an attempt to bring the lead singer’s attention back to him.

“Go to bed and rest but don’t sleep just yet. You have to eat first.” The lead singer ordered, making use of his age as an authority.

The leader only made the slightest movement before halting. He grabbed the blonde by his wrist with a barely-there pout on his lips.

Jaejoong audibly sighed. “Now I’m stuck with two kids.” he teased which only made the hand clasped around his wrist tighten. He was torn on whom to tend to first and Yoochun’s intense gaze that he knew so well and Yunho’s tight grip was not helping. Ah. He mentally exclaimed. “Chunnie-yah, put Yunho to bed while I set the breakfast up. He wasn’t feeling well and looks very pale.”

“Bu – ”

“No buts, children.” He poked his tongue out, proud of his genius idea.

---

Hand in hand, the soul mates walked past a few dressing rooms, with the younger pulling the blonde lead singer. “Someone wants to meet you”.

“You don’t have to drag me like this” Jaejoong whined, quickening his pace before his curiosity got the better of him. “Who is it?”

Ignoring the older one’s question, Yoochun fisted his hand to lightly knock at the door as if he might disturb something. He pushed the door with his free hand while the other was still intertwined with the lead singer. “Ji Hoon.” He greeted, earning himself a good hit on the back of his head from his companion.

“Where have your values gone to?” Jaejoong might be gentle more often than not, but whenever it came down to the impression his band mates gave off, he couldn’t help being quite strict. It had not been an issue to him whether his own cold exterior gave people the wrong impression, but with the younger men concerned he couldn’t let them ruin their own reputation by misbehavior, although it was normally Yunho’s job.

“Hi, Ji Hoon-hyung.” The lead singer slightly bowed before finally eyeing the tall soloist. For a moment, his eyes were glued to the purple hair that looked rather familiar. He turned to his best friend, then back to Ji Hoon and the puzzle was solved. “So, since when have you two been so close?” He asked, silly and rather intimidated by the tall man’s gaze.

“We met at the salon last week” Ji Hoon answered with just the right amount of courteousness in his tone. Indeed, as his not-so-new-found-friend had claimed, Jaejoong was special though he couldn’t exactly place how so. It could be his pale skin, his alluring eyes, his pink lips or how his hair was styled and done to perfection but Ji Hoon couldn’t be too sure. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, but even that he couldn’t guarantee.

“Ah, that explains the hair…” Jaejoong was still amused with the two’s identical hairstyles, the color being the only difference. Yoochun sported an orange-blonde, while Ji Hoon’s was an edgy, dark shade of purple.

“I’ll leave you guys for a while to get my hair done.” Yoochun smiled as he got himself ready to exit the door. “I’ll come back for you later.” He turned to his best friend, his eyes smiling at the blonde.

“Are you subtly saying I’m not allowed to leave unless you fetch me?” Jaejoong’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Yoochun, not understanding what his friend was trying to get at.

“But of course, I can’t let you get raped along the hallway.” Yoochun quickly disappeared behind the door, wanting to avoid Jaejoong’s incorrect attempt at wrath.

“Aish, that guy.” He mumbled as he shook his head in despair. He couldn’t believe he’d use such joke when someone, someone being a person out of the group, was around. “Don’t mind him, it’s a common joke we have.” He made a gesture with his hands in defense while his cheeks were tainted with the slightest shade of pink.

“I know. He told me before.” Rain chuckled at how defensive the blonde was, which only made it more obvious that he was somewhat in denial.

Jaejoong could only huff, wondering what had gotten to his soul mate’s mind. He wanted to ask what else the tall guy knew but he was scared of what he might hear and thus, kept his question to himself. “So why did you want to meet me?”

“Straightforward, aren’t we.” Rain grinned, finding Jaejoong a living amusement. If he wasn’t mistaken, he had seen a glint of timidity in the corner of the blonde’s eyes earlier. But at the moment he couldn’t find any traces of that shyness.

“Well, as it appeared to me, Chun has told you a lot about us. It would be unfair for you if I treated you differently. Why, you don’t like it, huh?”

“No, it’s fine.” It flattered him when Jaejoong dropped the formality but he’d rather not voice it out. “I was thinking of featuring you in one of my songs. How does that sound?”

The images that the question brought were endless. Jaejoong could already picture himself recording with the big time singer in front of him. “I would love too,” he answered sincerely with a hint of worry, “but I’m not sure if my management would agree to it.” For some reason he envied the soloist, for he could do anything he wanted without having to consult anyone since he ran his own management. But on the other hand, he felt sympathetic for the man, thinking that it must be so sad to do and decide things alone.

“I could negotiate with them, but only if you would allow me too.” Ji Hoon didn’t want to give Jaejoong the idea that he was manipulative. The blonde would play a huge part in it, so he didn’t want the lead singer to feel neglected. If anything, he wanted the other to feel important. Next thing he knew he was out in the hallway with Jaejoong a few steps ahead of him, their hands connected as the blonde tugged at his hand.

“Hyung must be in our dressing room. If not, I’d call him.”

There was no mistaking the excitement in Jaejoong’s tone, obliviously flattering Ji Hoon in the process. The soloist was now beginning to understand why Yoochun, and perhaps the rest of the band, were drawn to this man. Jaejoong just had that side to him that would make one feel good about oneself and very much appreciated. If this went on, he was afraid he would be lured in no time.

“Hyung?” Jaejoong busted through the door, alarming almost everyone with his entrance.

“Umma, you almost gave me a hair disaster.” Changmin gave him a quick look through the mirror he was sitting in front of to get his hair done.

“Ouch, sorry. Where’s hyung?”

“He left for a while, but he said he’d be coming back shortly.”

“Oh, you brought someone with you.” Junsu’s comment was what got everybody’s head turning, including the hairdressers and stylists.”

“Hello everyone.” He bowed slightly and all except the soul mates bowed to return the polite gesture. The atmosphere in the room was distinctly different from his. It was way more lively having so many people around and everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. In that very room he found every reason to be envious of the ambiance, and for some reason, he wanted to belong.

“We have something to discuss with hyung.” He announced before turning to Ji Hoon. “You don’t mind waiting, do you?” He hopefully eyed the taller man, oblivious to the half-stare half-glare thrown their way.

“Not at all.” Ji Hoon was left with no option but to smile as he was pulled by the shorter man who had circled an arm around his, dragging him to the other corner of the room.

If Jaejoong would be working with Ji Hoon soon, then it’d be good for him to get to know the boys. But if not, it wouldn’t hurt to add Ji Hoon to their circle of friends. Besides, Ji Hoon seemed like a nice guy and he wouldn’t mind hanging out with him sometimes.

“I’ll introduce you to everyone. This is our Junsu, squeaky most of the time but tolerable.”

“Hyung!” Junsu protested, of course in that signature high-pitch of his. The lead singer picked on him every now and then. Although he had never taken it to heart, he never gave up without a fight.

“See? There’s your proof.” Jaejoong chuckled.

“Ji Hoon-hyung, don’t buy his lies. I don’t squeak every time.” The lively young man turned to the tall new comer.

“If you say so.” Ji Hoon felt the need to ruffle Junsu’s hair that very moment, but he mused that the guy wouldn’t appreciate it, considering that his hair was already styled.

“Moving on, this is my Changmin, he empties our refrigerator.” Jaejoong watched as Changmin sighed in defeat.

Changmin audibly sighed. “As long as you keep me well fed, I’m not gonna protest.” Jaejoong had threatened him once of not giving him his dinner, which of course the blonde failed to act on- he was scared to death, not exactly to death but almost.

“He’s that good of a cook?” Ji Hoon’s curiosity was tickled so he asked away, shortly getting a nod from the youngest. “Nice weapon to keep your allies.” He teased the lead singer, idly wondering if it were now close enough to exchange jokes.

Jaejoong chuckled, liking how comfortable he had grown with the man in such a short time. It gave him the idea that they might just click, which is of course the best factor they could have if they were about to work on a collaboration. “I’ve never switched weapon since I discovered their weakness for food. Legend has it that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“No one has ever proved me so.”

“Try me.”

“Oi, oi, are you not going to introduce me?” Yoochun demanded, turning his rotating chair before getting to his feet, now with his hair done. He strolled over- the two were apparently having a cozy conversation- once he reached the two he put his arm around the lead singer.

“Oops, my bad. This is Yoochun who’s not worth of any introduction.” Jaejoong teased, poking Yoochun on the ribs.

“Why, thank you.”

Ji Hoon could only watch the exchange of affection between the two with envy on the side. He didn’t know how or why, but he got the feeling that having someone you could share everything with close to you would be a nice feeling.

In a corner he labeled his own, Yunho had been watching from scene to scene as his knuckles turned white. He had seen the soul mates leave and he had been waiting since, as to why, he didn’t know better. When Yoochun had come back alone, his heart dropped a few inches. He badly wanted to ask where Jaejoong was but Yoochun would only question him as to why and he was afraid he could not give a comprehensible enough reason. Unlike before, he didn’t have to squeeze his brain for a reason to see Jaejoong; he could see him when he wanted to, because he wanted to. The wait had been thinning his patience though his cluelessness remained consistent. And when (finally) Jaejoong had come back to where he belonged – together with the rest of them, within his sight – he felt relieved. But his relief had subsided as quickly as it came when his eyes landed on the lead singer’s hand which was linked with someone else’s.

Yunho didn’t know what his possessiveness was trying to get at. All he was knowledgeable of was it was out of his control, and so was his temper. The way Jaejoong was acting casual with the foreign guy was ticking him off to no ends. The blonde even introduced him to the rest of the boys- his family- and it appeared to him that Jaejoong had found his replacement.

But where will this agony take him? The question sprang like the sting of a slap on Yunho’s face. Of course, of course, Jaejoong was now single and therefore was free to mingle with anyone he wanted without Yunho’s consent. Though he was clearly lacking the will, he knew it was something he had to accept. Hell, he should have had accepted and realized when he ended things with Jaejoong. With that in mind, Yunho attempted to calm himself down, loosen his knuckles up and ease the crease between his eyebrows.

“Yunho, can you come over here for a second?”

A little startled, Yunho turned to Jaejoong’s direction, smiling to cover up the slight shock that the blonde’s familiar voice caused. Without further protest, he went up to the three men, his steps a little eager.

“This is Yun - ”

“Yunho.” Yunho offered a hand for Ji Hoon to shake, which the guy took without hesitation. “Jaejoong’s lo – ”

“Our leader.” Yoochun cut the leader off before the guy could say something not exactly nasty, but something that would shake Jaejoong’s regained stability.

“Nice to meet you.” Ji Hoon shook the hand of the leader who seemed reluctant to let go. Right then and there, he was enticed all over again by Kim Jaejoong and why everyone’s world seemed to revolve around him.

---

A/N: To those who offered to be my beta reader last time, thanks a lot!

Crossing the Line - Ch5

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:15:12 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 5/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: moon1084
Notes: I could only ask for my readers' patience.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

February 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

^____________________^

Can you tell that I’m happy? Can you? Can you???

It’s Appa’s birthday tomorrow!

I’m always excited about Appa’s birthday. Making him happy on a special day is something I love to do.

I hope Appa will like my present; I really spent a lot of time thinking about the right gift.

Must go to bed now!

I have to get up early before Appa wakes up.

Good night~!

♥,

Joongie

---

As Jaejoong stirred from his sleep, awakened by the slight sound of his alarm clock that was designed after a panda, a smile lit his face. He did a few stretches to rid himself of the remnants of sleep before jumping out of his bed.

He still had an hour before Yunho would wake up to prepare for work. The time was enough for Jaejoong to prepare everything for his dad, wanting to return the favor that his father had been doing for him all along. He had planned to make a two course breakfast, pancakes and sunny side up with some toasts. All he had to do was re-enact what he did on his own birthday to cook up some nice pancakes. As for the eggs, he had been taught at school and had practiced at home how not to break the yolks when making sunny side up’s.

Still in his PJs, he searched his dresser for the apron he had used at school. Upon finding the light blue apron, he put it on himself and made his way out of his room with quick excited steps. He ran down the flight of steps and went straight to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboard right after.

Though he wasn’t loose cannon as before, Jaejoong needed some getting used to around the kitchen. He didn’t bathe in flour like he had the last time, but the now-white-but-previously-cream colored floor was indication enough that indeed, he had a lot to learn, and oh, a lot to clean, too.

Cooking wasn’t as easy as Jaejoong thought without his father’s help. But despite the troubles he had caused upon himself, he enjoyed the whole experience as he kept in mind that he was doing this for his dad. After wiping his forehead off of the nonexistent sweat, he placed his hands on his hips as he examined his masterpiece and sighed with contentment.

He ran back upstairs, sneaking into his father’s room. It was the only day of the year that he was allowed to enter the room without having to knock; another reason why he loved Yunho’s birthday. He remembered how he had persuaded his father to give him that privilege, telling the man that knocking would only ruin his surprise. He checked the little silver clock sitting on the nightstand. Seven more minutes before the alarm would set off. Disturbing his father’s sleep didn’t sit well with him, thus, he watched the man in his sleep.

Other than a father, Jaejoong thought Yunho was like a best friend too. Like Heechul, he could tell his dad everything that he wanted and Yunho would pay attention to every single time he would open his mouth. From his perspective, Yunho never lacked anything as a father and a friend and he couldn’t express how grateful he was.

For the nth time, he realized how handsome Yunho was, thinking how no other dad could match up to Yunho’s level. If there would be a girl who looked like his father, Jaejoong would most definitely want to marry her. But then again, Yunho was very manly so he got a little confused. Shaking off his confusion, he continued watching his dad, swaying his head from side to side as though Yunho’s breathing was a melody.

Not long after, the alarm clock finally busted the room’s silence. Still with his eyes closed, Yunho’s hands travelled to a familiar place to shut the sound off but before he could touch the silver clock, the alarm went off and his hand was met by a different form of familiarity. Those smaller soft hands enveloping his own could only belong to one person. Yunho opened his eyes, fixing them onto Jaejoong’s beautiful hands before looking up to see the boy who was sitting on this bed.

As odd as Jaejoong looked, in pajamas and apron both at the same time, Yunho could never say the boy looked half bad. Actually, his son looked just as good as he always was, if not even cuter. He was left breathless the very moment Jaejoong threw himself at him for a crushing hug, mumbling something only for his ears to hear.

“Happy birthday, Appa. I love you.” Jaejoong whispered.

Yunho had lost count of the number of times he had thanked the heavens, but he’ll thank them again. He could never be luckier to have Jaejoong. “Thank you, baby. Appa loves you very much.” If it wasn’t for his conscience talking, he would’ve returned a more crushing hug. But doing so might be too much for the boy’s petite body.

“I made breakfast for you.” Jaejoong beamed, pulling away from his dad before pulling the man’s hand to help him sit up. “Come on!” With all his strength, he pulled his father who was trying to make himself heavier by pulling Jaejoong back. It only took a while before Jaejoong gave up and collapse on top of his dad as Yunho pulled him.

“Let’s stay like this a little longer.” Yunho requested, wrapping his fairly toned arms around the boy’s languid form. “Where’s my gift?” He recalled how Jaejoong’s presents never failed to amuse him year after year. Previously, the boy had secretly rented a purple genie costume to surprise him, saying that he could make three wishes and Jaejoong will grant it. Thus, he had Jaejoong dancing, singing and snuggling to him ‘til they fall asleep.

“Later Appa, songsaeng-nim said – patience is a virtue.” Jaejoong snickered to himself at how impatient Yunho was. He wasn’t planning to give his present until the end of the day. Although he himself wanted to give it away already, he had to restrain himself from giving in to heighten the suspense.

---

They finished their breakfast and Yunho was washing the dishes with the help of his sidekick. “Am I getting my present yet?” He asked as he carefully scrubbed the plate before passing it to Jaejoong to wash the bubbles off.

“Not yet, Appa.”

Yunho sighed.

Jaejoong giggled.

---

It was 12:17 in the afternoon and Jaejoong was enjoying his lunch together with Heechul. “I made breakfast today. Appa said I can be a top chef!” He enthusiastically spilled.

“Then I can be a top model!” Heechul teased, earning a pout from the other boy.

Jaejoong’s phone rang, breaking the not so tranquil moment they were having. “Appa?”

“My present?”

“Wait a little longer.”

Yunho sulked.

Jaejoong grinned.

Heechul wondered.

---

Finally, after the long wait, Yunho would get to see Jaejoong, and hopefully get his present too. He felt like a child on Christmas day, counting down the days to open the gifts under the Christmas tree. Leaning against the car with his legs slightly cross and his arms folded in front of his chest, he anticipated Jaejoong’s arrival.

Yunho’s aura brightened up at the sight of his son running up to him. It made him wonder if he was aging backwards, judging how impatient he was over a present.

“Where’s my present?”

“Appa, you’re supposed to ask how my day was.” Jaejoong whined, hands forming to a loose fist to playfully hit his father’s chest.

“Oh, sorry. How was my baby’s day?” Yunho made his tone extra cheesy to make up for his mistake.

“It was okay.”

“Where’s my present?”

“Appa!!”

---

The lights were out and the lone source of brightness was the flicker from the TV. The night was calm, silent but not awkward; serene, tranquil but not deafening. As soon as the credits rolled, the first sound was made; the cracking of the voice signaled the fear of ruining the serenity of it all.

“Appa, do you want your present now?” It was a late Friday night, thus, Jaejoong could stay up for long as he wanted because he need not have to bother himself with school the next day.

“Finally!” Yunho’s tone was surprisingly lively despite the double digits on the clock. “I’ve been waiting for it all day.” He intently watched his son; waiting for the boy to make a move, pull something from his pocket or run to his room. But neither of the two ensued. Instead, he got Jaejoong leaning closer to him, the boy’s natural sweet scent getting strong by the second. To say that he was caught under a spell wouldn’t do him justice as he was void of his senses except the feel of the soft sensation against his mouth, his lips.

It was Jaejoong’s first kiss, ever; Yunho’s first kiss, after a long time.

Yunho couldn’t find it in himself to compare Jaejoong’s lips with anyone else’s. It was just simply breathtaking, could be more but never less. He was wide eyed; his eyes couldn’t really see a thing other than Jaejoong’s closed eyes. And just like that, he was stunned, yet again, amused by Jaejoong’s present.

Fidgeting as he retreated, Jaejoong was unsure if his father liked his gift. “You said my first kiss was precious. And you also said I should give it to someone I want to give my whole heart to. I don’t want to give it to anyone, so I gave it to you. Did you like it?” He threw Yunho a half- hopeful, half-fearful look. He didn’t get any clear answer but when Yunho pulled him into a tight hug, he knew he had done something good.

---

A/N: Please honestly tell me, do you find the story boring like I do?

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch5

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:44:35 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 5/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta: None.
Notes: I think i've been spoiling you guys with the updates. x3

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

“My eyes!"

“Umma!”

It only took two familiar voices screaming to snap Yunho out of his slumber. With tousled hair and crumpled shirt, he ran out of his room. Wanting to know what the commotion was all about, he didn’t even bother putting his slippers on. “What’s going on?” He questioned, his voice cracking just a bit. He never had to wait for a worded answer though. Everything he needed to know was there, right before his eyes.

Jaejoong stood there, looking somewhat alarmed, clad in nothing but his underwear and a white tank top. “I can’t find my pants.”

Sure, the five of them had seen each other completely bare, but seeing the lead singer pacing around the apartment early in the morning certainly is attention nabbing. Seeing a nameless someone walking around in his underwear was startling enough, so imagine how astounded the whole apartment was when it was Jaejoong. Then again, the lead singer had been known to have his quirks, it was just they haven’t witnessed much of it lately.

“Aish, tone it down, you two. See? You’ve woken Yunho up.” Jaejoong lectured, shrugging off the kids´ reaction as he busied himself looking around.

Upon finding his tongue, Yunho finally had his say. “You could have worn something else on while looking for your missing pants.” It took him a great amount of will to focus his eyes on the blonde’s upper torso. He knew the dangers that Jaejoong held from his waist and down, having a few experiences of those dangers himself. If the leader didn’t know better, he would have thought Jaejoong was merely showing off his undeniably well-toned body. But every now and then, as he had learned, again thru experience, the lead singer would put his rationality aside.

The blonde singer turned to Yunho, his features contorted in guilt. “I’m sorry to have disturbed your sleep. I didn’t know anyone would be up at this time so…yeah. Good thing I didn’t come out naked.” Jaejoong snickered to himself.

Good thing, indeed, Yunho thought, or else, he would have lost the sanity he saved for the day. Out of the blue, it reminded the leader of how it was living with Jaejoong for the first week. He recalled almost getting a heart attack a few times when the still-raven-then Jaejoong came out of the bathroom, naked. The lead singer’s reason then was that he had forgotten to bring a towel with him.

Yunho couldn’t find the strength to laugh along when the blonde snickered as he was extremely, and he meant extremely, distracted when Jaejoong bended a little with his back facing him, unconsciously flashing his behind in the process. “Uhm… okay.” It was all he could mutter, making a silent wish that he didn’t appear so bothered, which to his dismay, he clearly was.

Once the leader returned to his room, Jaejoong turned to the two “You guys, you know he had a late night. He needed that sleep.” His tone was nowhere near mad but had guilt edging to it. “You didn’t have to over react, unless you were trying to wake him up on purpose.” Jaejoong wasn’t stupid and dense enough to fail noticing how Yunho took awkward steps back to his room. Of course, it was flattering that somehow, in some ways, he still had an effect on his ex-lover. But he didn’t want to linger on that thought, knowing that it would only raise his hopes up, which he could do without.

“Sorry.”

“We didn’t intend to wake anyone up. Well, at least I didn’t.” Changmin threw the guy by his side a doubtful joke-filled look filled.

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Junsu waved his hand in protest.

The blonde nodded, knowing full well that the younger ones wouldn’t have the heart to do so. He just had to let his previous thought out to lighten the mood. “Junsu, didn’t you borrow my pants two weeks ago; the fly-buttoned one?”

“Yoochun burrowed it after I did.”

“Aish, I suppose I had to get another pair or two. Who wants to go shopping with me?”

Junsu and Changmin could only exchange looks, completely aware of what they would be getting themselves into if they were to offer their company while the eldest shop.

---

Try as he might, Yunho couldn’t go back to sleep. Not when images of a certain singer was constantly flashing in his mind whenever he closed his eyes. Twisting and turning on his bed didn’t do him good either. He felt beyond silly for having his thoughts occupied by his ex-lover that way, but what was he supposed to do? It obviously wasn’t his fault that visions of Jaejoong in his mighty bareness refused to leave him alone. He couldn’t help but note how smooth the lead singer appeared in his head, so smooth he could almost feel it. His previous experience with that infamous smoothness wasn’t helping him out of his current situation either.

Seeing that he’d no longer be getting any sleep, he opted to move on with his day and head for a shower. With a groan, he got up from the comfort of his bed, set his feet on the ground and let his feet roam for his slippers. He let out a sigh before heading to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on his way.

The cold tiled floor distracted him for a second before his previous thoughts of Jaejoong surfaced once again. He rid himself of his clothes, tossing them to the empty bin before stepping into shower. Truth be told, when Yunho stepped inside the bathroom, it never occurred to him that he would be that excited.

“Darn it.”

---

Jaejoong hadn’t gone shopping for a while now; hence, he was a little excited. But apparently, no one was willing to go with him. On normal circumstances, it would have been Yunho or Yoochun who’d accompany him. Unfortunately for the blonde, the two are unavailable at the moment. Yunho had a late meeting with their manager the previous night while his best friend had gone to bed just a few hours ago. His soul mate had, yet again, pulled another all nighter, writing a new song.

The blonde knew and admit how outrageous he could get if he was to be left shopping alone. Thus, as much as possible, he needed someone to pin him down even just a bit before he could go overboard not only in terms of quantity but also when it came down to style. So, Yoochun’s critique had always been handy whenever they were shopping together.

Sighing as he picked up the car key from his nightstand, he had silently decided that he was going alone this time. Once he had everything he needed, he planted a kiss on his sleeping roommate’s forehead before leaving the room. On his way out, he met the leader whose wet hair gave away that he just had a shower. “I thought you were sleeping?”

Yunho was a little startled at the question since he didn’t notice the blonde coming out of the other bedroom. “Oh, I can’t get to sleep.” Seeing no point in lying, he didn’t bother hiding the truth. Besides, saying so wouldn’t give Jaejoong the idea that his inability to sleep was all because of him.

“I’m really sorry for waking you up.” Worry was evident in Jaejoong’s face, his features softening in an instant. It was obviously his fault that the leader didn’t get his fair share of sleep. “I’m sorry.”

Yunho was truly touched at Jaejoong’s sincere apology. “It’s okay.” He smiled, wondering if Jaejoong knew that the crease of his eyebrows had always signaled the amount of sincerity he put into things. “Going out?” Yunho took a moment to look at the lead singer’s attire, sighing in relief that the blonde was completely covered.

“Yes. Shopping.” Jaejoong beamed, clearly thrilled at the mention of the last word, twirling the key ring ‘round and ‘round his finger. “I have to get going now.” He couldn’t remember feeling this much better for quite some time while talking to Yunho. He now felt so casual, so carefree and very himself around his ex-lover. Finally, although not completely, he got rid of that sick feeling in his stomach whenever Yunho was within his sight and of that fear to get too close to the leader.

“Take care.” Yunho watched Jaejoong’s back as the blonde went for the door, noting how his footsteps were quicker than his normal pace.

“Uhm…” Jaejoong turned back just before he took hold of the door knob. “Do you have time?” He had no time to contemplate much on his question. He thought there’d be no harm asking, he was just asking anyway, testing the waters as he did so. Since he felt cozy with Yunho once again, it might not be a bad idea to invite the guy to go shop. It wasn’t like they were going out on date, was it?

Trying to recall the day’s schedule, he averted his eyes to the floor for a better focus. “I do.”

Jaejoong’s face lit up. “Can you go shopping with me?” His was head tilted to the side as he stated his request.

It didn’t take Yunho more than a second to voice out his answer. “Let me get change and get my key.” He was about to retreat to his room, hoping that he didn’t sound so eager just now.

“Can we use my car?” Jaejoong would be lying if he’d claimed that the mention of Yunho’s car didn’t get his heart thumping for a few seconds. It was just that so many things had happened there and he found himself not quite ready to reminisce those moments. Lifting himself back to the ground, he told himself that in time, he’ll be ready for those and even laugh about the silly things they had done; in time. “Or we could just meet at the mall.”

“Let’s use your car.” Yunho suggested before finally disappearing to his bedroom, not wanting to reckon why he went for the first option.

---

Wherever Jaejoong went, Yunho followed. It was almost like when they were still together, almost. Unlike before, Yunho could no longer casually drape an arm over Jaejoong’s shoulder as they strut from one boutique to another. It was a friendly manner that never brought them at the end of people’s suspicion. Plus, they had never let the skin ship linger on for a long time.

They were now on the seventh store where Jaejoong had picked to sets of outfits to try on. He took two pairs of pants, one colored and the other was denim, and two tops, one was stripped long sleeved while the other was a white printed shirt. Just before entering the fitting room, he spotted a scarf that was to his liking. When he was contented with the items at hand, he went behind the curtain covered fitting room.

While the blonde was busy pimping himself, Yunho was roaming around the store just to keep himself busy while he effortlessly carried the shopping bags. Every now end then, his eyes would follow the lead singer as if he Jaejoong was just about to do something drastic. He can put a finger on what gave him that idea, he just got a feeling and that was it. Yunho’s instinct deemed impeccable as his eyes got glued to the fitting room which was left ajar. To his horror, the curtain, which was supposedly stretched from side to side to cover the occupant of the cubicle, was pushed a little to the side, revealing quite a view of the person inside.

Before Yunho could register it, he was running to Jaejoong’s aid, who by the way, was revealing more than what he’d love the public to see. Apparently, Jaejoong was too preoccupied to notice what the leader had witnessed. For the same reason, the blonde didn’t notice when Yunho came to fix the mishap and accidentally peeked inside when the leader was pulling the curtain to its rightful place. He let out a deep sigh, thanking the heavens that the boutique was next to empty, the sales ladies weren’t nosy and the two of them were the only customers at the moment. It was a good thing that he was the one who saw the blonde while changing and not one of the staff, well, maybe not.

As Yunho stood on guard by the cubicle, he failed to hinder the images that had been trying to get into his head. He felt oh so pathetic to be seeing Jaejoong’s bare form in his mind’s eyes. It was as if fate had been mocking him that of all the things he could witness, of all the things his eyes could land on, it happened to be Jaejoong’s wonders. It wasn’t that he didn’t like what he had seen. It was just that Jaejoong was a sight to see and that was what caused Yunho’s little misery. He was so miserable that he almost blamed the blonde for being so fair, so smooth looking, so attention grabbing, and so damn enticing without even trying. His train of thoughts was being one hell of a ride, failing him to notice Jaejoong until the lead singer made his presence known.

“Is this okay?” Jaejoong asked as he pushed the curtain to the side while looking himself up and down through the mirror. “Yunho?” He found Yunho rooted on the ground, giving him the idea that he was wasting the leader’s precious time. “Am I boring you? I’m sorry I dragged you here.”

“What? No, that’s not it.” Alarmed, Yunho forced himself to snap out of his daze. He was aware of how Jaejoong could be too hard on himself at times, blaming himself albeit he wasn’t at fault. “I’m hungry. I just realized I haven’t had my breakfast.” He made up a logical excuse, which wasn’t completely made up at all. He had been too eager to go out with the blonde that breakfast slipped his mind. Besides, he wasn’t used to heavy morning meals; a cup of coffee was all he needed to jumpstart his day.

“I haven’t been to Starbucks lately, do you like it there? My treat.” Jaejoong was still looking himself up and down as he asked.

“Anywhere would fine.” The leader answered, facing the other way. He was finding it hard to face the blonde in the same way he find it hard not to inspect him up and down after having weird thoughts about him.

“You really are that hungry?” Jaejoong chuckled. “Should I get this?”

“Uhm…” Yunho hesitated for a while before awkwardly checking how Jaejoong looked. Trying to judge the outfit without his previous thoughts interfering appeared to be an excruciating move. “I think it would do without the scarf.”

“You think so?” The blonde turned, checking himself out one last time. “Okay, I’ll get this one before we head to Starbucks. Ah, I should bring home some for the boys as well. Chun must be starving.” He slid the curtain back into place before he started changing back to his clothes.

“I thought we’re dining in.” The leader asked, making sure there curtain was perfectly obscuring the other guy.

“Well I –” Biting his lip, Jaejoong was glad Yunho wasn’t there to witness his slight uneasiness. As much as he didn’t want to be in Yunho’s car, he feared that eating with Yunho alone would bring memories back; those memories that he’d rather forget for now. Although it would be a simple breakfast, he still found it unsettling though he must admit he won’t mind eating with the other members alone. But it was different with Yunho, but of course. “We better eat at home. Chun might be awake now, I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Okay.” Slight disappointment colored Yunho’s tone just now. He wasn’t dense and he could tell that Jaejoong didn’t like the sound of breakfast alone with him. He knew where the blonde was coming from though, and he understood it well. Perhaps, the lead singer was just trying to point out where the fine line between friends and lovers stood. But still, it saddened him. Moreover, Jaejoong had been putting a lot, if not all, his attention to Yoochun; that very same attention Jaejoong had used to give him and him alone; that attention that was used to be his, only his.

---

A/N: I need a beta for this fic. If anyone's interested, send me a message so we could negotiate.♥

Please visit this post if you have time,

Crossing the Line - Ch4

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 01:36:38 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 4/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Readers: moon1084 </lj>
Notes: I suppose there would be a regular update for this fic, thanks to nadia^^.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

It had been over an hour since Yunho had been contemplating over an important matter as he sat in his office, facing his laptop. In three weeks time, Jaejoong’s middle school day would be over and Yunho have yet to find a high school that would harness every talent his son had within him. He had been debating with himself whether to send his one and only to an all-boys school or a co-ed one, each option bearing a risk, making the decision all the more harder.

Yunho knew what goes on in an all-boys school. Oh the tendencies! He wasn’t sure if risking a part of Jaejoong’s innocence would be worth it just to save the boy from those high school girls. It was his personal experience talking here. No, he definitely can’t let Jaejoong take the course that marked his past back then. Then again, sending Jaejoong to a school exclusive for boys didn’t seem to be a better option.

“Mr. Jung, these papers need your approval.”

Welcoming the distraction, Yunho tore his attention away from his laptop to face his secretary. His hand reached out, signaling for his secretary to come closer. “Thank you.” His fingers slightly grazed over the woman’s soft hands, reminding him of Jaejoong instantly. He remembered touching his son a few days ago, and the feel of the boy’s smooth skin remained in his memory.

He could only wish the boy would remain that way, unharmed and untouched. But that wish was currently being threatened by something that he can’t possibly save his precious Jaejoong from: growing up.

“Mr. Jung? Ji Hyun, Yunho’s secretary, called her boss’ attention as the man was apparently in a daze.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll call you when I’m done here.”

---

With both hands attached to the straps of his backpack, Jaejoong waited for his friend to finish packing up. “We were dismissed pretty late today. Appa, must be bored waiting for me.”

Heechul slipped in his last text book before slinging his bag onto his back as he headed towards the door with Jaejoong trailing behind. “We better hurry then. The faculty members are so checking your father out.”

Jaejoong ran past his friend without further ado, mumbling an apology to every student he bumped onto along the way.

Slightly stunned, Heechul could only shake his head at his friend’s reaction. “I was about to say I was joking.” He whispered to himself before running after Jaejoong, knowing better than to leave a panicking Jaejoong alone. Soon after, he heard a few screams from the stairs’ direction. “Oh no.”

Jaejoong had his eyes shut close as he anticipated his nasty fall, immediately regretting rushing to meet his father. He knew his father would get mad if he ever gets hurt and it was what scared him the most. The physical pain that the fall would cause him didn’t even cross his mind as he was preoccupied of what his dad might do if he ever found the bruises. Oddly enough, the anticipated pain never came.

“Are you okay?” A voice foreign to Jaejoong spoke.

It took the boy quite an amount of courage to open his eyes. When he finally did, his cheeks heated up in an instant upon finding people gathered around him.

“Are you hurt?” The voice repeated, snapping Jaejoong out of his stupor.

Jaejoong frantically shook his head before looking up at his savior, who by the way was still holding him by his arms so he wouldn’t fall. “I’m sorry.” He bit his lip in fear of being scolded right in front of everyone’s eyes.

“It’s okay.” The tall guy smiled at the shorter boy, giving him a pat on the head. “Are you sure you’re not hurt? I think I held you a bit too tight.” He checked the boy’s arms where his hands were previously wrapped around.

Everything happened too fast that it took Jaejoong a few seconds to process what just happened. He wouldn’t have realized the slight sting on his arms if the other guy didn’t mention it, realizing how fast his heartbeat was beating. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.” As much as he wanted to, he can’t lie just to save the tall guy from guilt of hurting him, especially when he was only trying to help. Plus, just thinking about lying made his stomach churn.

“No worries. Be careful next time.”

“Jae!” Heechul called before lunging forward to his best friend, weighing the guilt, worry and fear on his shoulders. “Are you alright?” He could care less if he was acting like a worried-sick parent at the moment. “Are you hurt? Do you feel pain anywhere?” He wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was worried sick, knowing that Yunho would never forgive his sorry as if he ever found out Jaejoong was hurt because of him.

It was perhaps the wrong moment to feel blessed but Jaejoong couldn’t possibly deny his feelings. “I didn’t know you care for me that much.”

“You silly kid! You almost gave me a heart attack! When I heard them screaming I thought – ”

“Rella, I’m fine.” Jaejoong assured his friend, smiling up at him. “See? No wounds.” He showed his arm just so Heechul would believe him. “He saved me.” He turned around, only to find himself pointing at an empty space. “He was here just here a minute ago.” Jaejoong scratched his head in confusion, somewhat guilty that he hadn’t thanked the guy enough. “Ah! I forgot about Appa!”

Before Jaejoong could set off another accident, Heechul gave the boy’s hand a firm hold. “I lied about what I said, I was only teasing you.” He was expecting Jaejoong to get mad or at least hit him on the arm, but instead, his friend just let out a long sigh of relief. He really was an angel at heart, Heechul thought.

“I’m glad to hear that. Let’s go. I don’t want to keep Appa waiting.” Jaejoong lead the way with his friend following closely behind. Upon seeing his father at his usual spot across the gate, he ran towards the man leaning against his car. Throwing himself at his father had been a weekday routine by now, a ritual that he couldn’t do without. Whenever this time came, Jaejoong would always lose awareness of the people around, thus, he had always acted like nobody could ever see, like nobody found them unusual.

“I missed you too.”

---

January 30, 2009

Dear Diary,

My arms no longer hurt, but I feel guilty that I didn’t tell Appa about it. T_T

I’m just scared that he would scold me…

Waaahhhhhh… what should I do?

I want to tell Appa…

But I don’t want him to get mad… T_T

But nothing bad happened to me.

So maybe…

I hope…

Appa won’t get mad. I don’t want to worry him like I did to Heechul. I was thankful the guy was there to catch me before I even fell.

Come to think of it… I never knew his name. But I’ve seen him before, I think he’s from Class B. I hope I could see him again. I have to thank him for what he did. Maybe we can be friends too?

Ah! I really should tell Appa! He would be happy if he finds out someone made an effort to save me.

Even if Appa doesn’t tell me, I know he’s worried that I don’t have any friend other than Rella (and Hankyung since we’re friends now, thanks to Rella.)

I really don’t want making Appa worried, although it just means that he loves me, it makes me feel guilty.

♥
Joongie

---

Already clad in his hamtaro PJ’s, Jaejoong knocked on his father’s door. He sneaked in before nerves could get the better of him, which only meant he wouldn’t be able to say what he ought to. He stood beside the door, watching as his father pulled his eyeglasses off and turned to him.

“What does my baby need?” Yunho joked, standing up as he shut his laptop close. Whenever Jaejoong remained silent for at least five seconds after he had spoken, something was definitely up. “Is something the matter?”

Biting his lip for a moment, Jaejoong decided it was now or never. “Please don’t get mad. But if you feel the need to get mad, I guess that’s okay. But I hope you won’t get mad. But – ”

“Jae…” Yunho pulled his son into his arms when he was at the right proximity. “Tell me what’s going on. I can’t promise I won’t get mad, but I’ll try.” His right arm circled around the intersection of the boy’s right hand reaching for the silky locks while his other hand was busy soothing the boy, rubbing his son’s arm in an upward-downward motion.

Jaejoong buried his head against his father’s chest, trying to still his heartbeat. “I almost hurt myself today.”

Yunho’s eyebrows narrowed in an instant. But as he had promised, he will try to control his anger. He remembered when Jaejoong was still in kindergarten. The boy came to him with a band aid around his index finger. He had been so furious then that he scared the boy, who cried for hours. Jaejoong had looked so fragile and he immediately regretted raising his voice. Since then, he learned how to value Jaejoong’s tears.

“But I didn’t get hurt. I almost fell down the stairs.” Jaejoong felt a little relieved that his father hadn’t said a single thing, but instead, he felt the arms tightened around him. “I was too eager to see you so I rushed out, but I tripped just before I went down the stairs. I’m very lucky someone caught me before I could even fall.”

“Jaejoong. Jaejoong. Jaejoong-ah.” It might pass as an over-reaction, but what was he supposed to do? Worry couldn’t even be compared to what he was feeling. If Jaejoong fell, he wouldn’t know what he’d do. Just the image of the boy he had been protecting for 16 years helplessly falling was sickening. He pulled his arms off his son before cupping the boy’s cheeks, staring him in the eye. “Promise Appa, you’ll be careful next time, and the time after next after next. We can’t always count on someone to save you from your fall.” It was then that Yunho thought that heavens were on his side, protecting their very own angel. “What if no one came to save you? You could have been badly hurt. You know I don’t like seeing you hurt in any way on top of everything, you know that right?”

Almost tearing up, Jaejoong nodded as he tried to keep his tears to himself. “I’m sorry for not taking care of myself. Sorry for worrying you again and again. I’m really sorry.”

“Shh…” Yunho hushed the boy by engulfing him in a hug. “It’s only normal for a father to worry for his son. And I’m not mad. I’m just thankful that someone got there at the right moment.”

Jaejoong nodded in agreement. “I will thank him lots next time I see him.”

“Please do, thank him for me as well. I owe him a huge favor.”

“Okay. But I don’t know when I will see him again. I don’t even know his name. But I see him around the campus every now and then.” Feeling as if a torn was plucked from his chest, Jaejoong beamed at his father. He couldn’t wish for a more understanding father. Even though people said that no one is perfect, he begged to differ. For him, there was one person who had always been perfect in his eyes and he felt like the luckiest son on earth to have that perfect person as his father.

“It’s getting late. Do you want to sleep over for the night?” Yunho offered, wanting to make up for not being with Jaejoong the moment he needed a hand.

Jaejoong eagerly nodded. “I’ll just get Mr. Pokky.” He was about to leave the room when he’s father stopped him.

“I’ll bring him over, just head on the bed; we’ll be with you in a moment.” Yunho patted the boy’s head right before he led Jaejoong to the bed and let him lay down. He pulled the cover up to the boy’s chin before leaving, but he was pulled by the hand.

“Appa, why do I love you this much? I don’t think Rella loves his mom and dad this much.”

“Because angels were born with a bigger heart than humans could ever have.”

---
A/N: Not the best chapter i've written, I know. *sigh*

Crossing the Line - Ch3

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 09:16:10 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 3/?
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: moon1084
Notes: Here’s the second part, which I wrote before I even posted the first one. I’m not really intending to post this but im overwhelmed by the response, which im not too sure if it’s good or not.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

January 26, 2009
Good morning, Diary!

I love weekends! Saturdays and Sundays are the only days I get to spend the whole day with Appa.

But this weekend is special. ^_^

Why? Why? Why?

It’s my birthday!

I’m 16 now, yay!

I’m so excited about tonight’s dinner with Appa. He wouldn’t tell me where he made a reservation at because he said it’s a surprise.

Appa bought me a suit, a white one. I tried it on last night and I think I look good in it, but not as good as Appa does when he’s in his business suit though.

But I hope Appa would like how I look, ‘coz I do. ^_^

I took it off as quick as I can when I heard Appa knock on my door last night. I didn’t want Appa to see me wearing it ‘coz I want to surprise him.

XD

♥,
Joongie

---

Waking up extra early, just because he was plain excited, Jaejoong had more energy than usual. He walked, almost ran, out of his room once he had changed into a pair of shorts that ran down to his knees and a loose navy blue shirt. Following the unfamiliar scent, the boy tiptoed his way to the kitchen and poked hiss head to take a peek inside. Again, he stood on tiptoes and walked as silently as he could towards his father, only to trip when he was close, so damn close.

Yunho heard a soft thud and felt a tug on his pants. He had a strong feeling that he had to look down, so he did, only to find his son looking up at him with a sheepish grin.

“Good morning, Appa.” Jaejoong stayed put, lying flatly with his stomach on the floor while his hands were firmly grasping the bottom of his father’s pants. “Hehe.” He gave an awkward laugh when Yunho fascinatingly eyed him.

Unable to hold his laughter, Yunho chuckled as he picked the boy up to bring him back on his feet. “Why, good morning to you too. What happened?”

Jaejoong chuckled along his father. “I was trying to surprise you.”

Yunho didn’t bother to suppress his laughter. “Well, you did. Mission accomplished.” He switched his attention back to the task at hand.

“What are you doing?” Jaejoong leaned forward to take a better look at the pan his father had been working on.

“A western breakfast for my birthday boy.” Yunho beamed, skillfully and confidently tossing the contents of the pan.

“Woaah~” Amazed, Jaejoong’s jaw dropped as the ingredients jumped off the pan right in front of his eyes. “How did you do that?” The boy asked, imitating the motion of his dad’s hand.

“This?” Yunho showed off his skill and tossed once again, very amused at the pleased look on his son’s face.

Jaejoong gleefully nodded. “Can you teach me how to do that?” He pleaded as he tugged on his father’s shirt.

“I’m afraid you’re not fit for that trick just yet.” Yunho watched Jaejoong as the boy’s expression turned from hopeful to a defeated one. Unable to bear the look on the boy’s face, he offered, “How ‘bout giving me a hand on the pancakes?”

“You’re making pan cakes too?” Jaejoong regained the shine on his orbs once again.

“No. You are making them.”

Jaejoong pointed at his chest, his eyebrows curved to the shape of enthusiasm. “I am?”

Yunho nodded, his lips slowly forming a faint smile. “Fetch the mixing bowl and the whisk from the cupboard. All the ingredients are on the table. Just mix them all up and then call me when you’re done.” He ordered.

Jaejoong eagerly bobbed his head, registering every instruction. He rushed to the cupboard in search of the utensils he needed.

“Careful now, we’re not in a battlefield. And I can’t risk you getting a scratch, in the kitchen nonetheless.”

The boy lessened his pace as ordered by his father. He worked on the pancake as he was told, carefully replaying every bit of instruction of his father.

Get the bowl.

Get the whisk.

Mix everything together.

Flour. Egg. Milk. Butter. Salt. Baking powder.

Mix.

Mix.

Mix.

Satisfied at his task Jaejoong smiled to himself and yelled, “Done!”

Yunho finished the French toast, which he did after the omelet, just when Jaejoong finished the pancake mix. He turned the heat off and turned to check his son’s work, only to find the boy’s dark blue shirt had turned gray. He was left with no other choice but to gap at the sight of his son, practically showered with flour. It took him a few seconds to recover and the first thing that crossed his mind was to hold his laughter.

Jaejoong watched as his father walking near him, throwing the guy an expectant look as he waited for an appraisal or something.

“If I remember correctly, I told you to mix them altogether, not mix yourself together with them.” Yunho placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and give it a slight pat.

Jaejoong mood dropped a few notches. His father didn’t seem so satisfied and the boy got sad to have disappointed Yunho. Jaejoong slowly looked up to his father but found his tongue tied. He wanted to apologize but he can’t seem to get a word out of his lips.

“It’s unbelievable how you could make such mess.” Yunho looked around, taking in the chaos around them, or more like, around Jaejoong. He eyed the flour sprinkled around and on the boy and the egg white sticking on his shirt.

“Is Appa mad?” When Jaejoong finally got his tongue untangled, he asked with his head bowed down.

Yunho threw his son a questioning look, which the boy missed since he was looking down. “Nah, I’m amused at how you did all these in such a short time.” He chuckled a little before taking a hold of the boys chin to lift Jaejoong’s head up. “I can never be mad at you.” He said once Jaejoong met his eyes.

Jaejoong’s eyes sparkled once again. “You wanna know how I did it?” Jaejoong beamed.

“Maybe not.” Yunho mumbled to himself but before he could move a muscle, Jaejoong already had his hands on the bag of flour.

Jaejoong held the bag of flour on both sides, in front of his dad. Without any sort of warning, he let it slip from his hands only to drop it on the table, causing the flour flying all over the place. “Like that.” He turned his attention from the flour back to his father whom he found white and petrified. “Appa?” He waved a hand in front of his dad’s face.

“Jung Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the sound of his full name. His father rarely called him in such way; only those few times when Yunho was up to something. The boy then found himself backing away but before he could keep a safe distance from his dad, he felt a firm hold around his wrist.

“Sorry.” Jaejoong let out an awkward laugh and a sheepish grin, both at the same time.

Yunho grabbed a handful of flour and splashed it on the boy. “Sorry.” He imitated his son’s tone.

“Appa~” Jaejoong said with a whiny voice.

“I didn’t know you’d look good blonde.”

“Ah, you’ve grown gray hair! You’re no longer the cool, young Appa.” Jaejoong laughed, pointing at Yunho’s hair dusted with flour.

If it would take Yunho a flour bath just to hear Jaejoong’s sweet laughter, then he wouldn’t mind bathing in it every now and then at all. His hands traveled to the boy’s head and gently patted off the flour from the boy’s hair. “It’s about time to get our pancakes cooking. I must clean the cook up.”

Jaejoong reached up, stretching his arms to free his father’s hair from flour as he let Yunho dust off his in return.

Yunho’s hand went lower, stroking the boy’s cheek with the back of his hand. He then cupped Jaejoong’s face, his thumbs drawing pattern on the softest flesh he had ever touched.

Jaejoong copied what his father was doing. He cleaned his father’s face with his hands, wiping them on his shorts from time to time so his hands would be flour-free, ready to remove the remaining white patches on his father’s face.

Yunho dusted off Jaejoong’s shirt and the boy did the same.

Jaejoong felt his father’s bigger hands on his body, so he copied and patted his father’s upper body, poking his abs occasionally just because he wanted to.

Yunho couldn’t help but smile at the feel of Jaejoong’s hands all over. The touch was new to him and innocent and very Jaejoong-like.

All of Jaejoong’s movements went into a halt when all of a sudden, Yunho lunged forward for an embrace. For a second, Jaejoong zoned out at the abruptness but ended up enjoying it anyway. He snuggled onto his father’s chest. Long toned limbs were circled around the boy, pinning his arms to his side.

“Happy birthday.” Yunho whispered right into Jaejoong’s ear, almost kissing the cavern, as he lowered his head to Jaejoong’s level. He would have loved to feel the boy’s warmth much longer but he wasn’t planning on starving his son. “The pan is waiting.” He said after pulling away from the boy then took the bowl with the pancake batter, secretly thankful that despite the mess, at least the pancake mixture was looking good. He placed his arm around the boy’s shoulder to guide him towards the stove where he left a pan on low heat.

Jaejoong faced the pan with Yunho standing right behind him. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” He tilted his head upwards, practically resting his head on his father’s chest.

Smiling down on the clueless boy, Yunho spoke “I’ll show you then. Watch me carefully.”

This time, Jaejoong made sure that he did as he was told, nothing more nothing less. He didn’t want to make another mess because surely, he had done enough.

“Your turn.”

Biting his lip, Jaejoong slowly reached for the bowl of mixture, Just like Yunho did.

“Let me guide you.” Yunho offered as he sensed Jaejoong’s hesitation. For a couple of times, he circled his arms around his son to lead the boy’s wobbly hands. A couple more times and Jaejoong was good to go, making a perfect flip so the pancakes were cooked on both sides. Yunho then placed his hands on Jaejoong’s shoulder, seeing that his help was no longer needed.

They both had lost sense of time and before they realized it, Jaejoong was on the last pancake. “All done!” He exclaimed as he turned his head to the left in search of his father’s supposedly pleased face. But he found himself staring at nothing as he felt a sudden warmth against the intersection of his neck and right shoulder. “Appa?” Jaejoong questioned out of confusion.

“Shh…” Yunho hushed the boy, wanting to savor the moment. His hands inched lower from his son’s shoulders in a pace that was anything but fast. The smoothness of Jaejoong under his fingertips was something he couldn’t pull away from. His hands roamed every patch of the boy’s arms as he lowered his head against the boy’s neck. “Baby.” Yunho couldn’t help but mutter when Jaejoong’s sweetness drowned him. And the thought that he was the first and only one that had the privilege to touch the boy like that was a one way ticket to heaven. “Will you ever get tired, if I say I love you more than I have to?” He whispered against his son’s neck before capturing the boy’s hands in his, entwining their fingers together.

Though Jaejoong had not a single clue what was going on, he needn’t had to think twice or question a thing, anything at all. He knew very well, that if it was the only thing he could hear from his father, he wouldn’t mind, definitely not. “Never, Appa.” He lightly shook his head, feeling his father’s warm lips against his neck as he made a movement.

“I love you.” Yunho held the boy’s hand tighter. “I love you.” He wrapped his arms, together with Jaejoong’s, around his son’s petite frame. “I love you.” He drowned deeper onto Jaejoong’s neck and planted a kiss on it. “I love you.” Another kiss, followed by another, and another, until he lost count.

“Appa.” Jaejoong called, causing his father to put a halt to his actions. He tilted his head upwards; his view of the ceiling was eventually replaced by Yunho. “I love you, too.” It earned him a kiss on the forehead and he knew he just got the best birthday gift ever.

---

January 27, 2009
Dear Diary,

Last night’s dinner with Appa was…

Hmm, how should I put it?

Fantastic? Yeah. It was fantastic and the place was really pretty *_*. There were beautiful candles everywhere.

And the foods were sooooo nice and they looked really good. I ended up eating so much that my stomach hurt. But when I saw the desert (I forgot what it’s called ‘cause I can’t pronounce it right and Appa jus laughed at me >3<) I felt that still had space in my stomach. XD so I ate everything on my plate and then my stomach was really really full. Appa offered me his plate but I just waved my hand, I really can’t take it anymore.

Ahhhh~ I can’t remember eating that much. XDD

After that, a woman came to our table and said hello to Appa. I didn’t want to stare at her but she was pretty so I can’t help it. She introduced herself as Ji Hyun, Appa’s secretary. And she asked if I was the infamous son of Mr. Jung I nodded and she pinched my cheek. I didn’t know why though, but it’s okay ‘cause it didn’t hurt. When she left us, Appa caressed my cheek. So I guess I have to thank her when I see her again. ^u^

Oh! I almost forgot! Before we left the house,

Appa said…

He said I looked gorgeous in the suit.

Huaaaaaahhhh~~ I’m so happy. *_*

^_______________________^

Then appa joked about me being a future CEO because of my attire. And then, on the way to the restaurant, he asked mE what I wanted to be in the future.

I really didn’t know. So that’s what I told him. And I just said that what I want in the future is to be with Appa.

And Appa just laughed again. I really like the sound of Appa’s laughter, so it’s okay if he laughs at me every time.

P/S: I hope I’m the only one who could make Appa laugh like that.

♥

Joongie

---

A/N: i have no valid excuse why it took me long to update. Again, i hope you guys still remember this. i wasn't intentionally going to update this cause i want to focus on SOR. But i don't have the heart to deny someone's wish. Thanks a lot for your patience, nadia, chapter 4 is coming your way, just a little more and it's done~ im just not sure if it's good enough. My brain is so dead.

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch4

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:04:20 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 4/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta:dbsk_jaeho
Notes: to those who actually liked this fic, this is dedicated to you~ for supporting the almost-thrown-away fic of mine. Thankies~ ♥

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

Though already awake, Jaejoong opted to keep his eyes closed to devour the silence. He just laid there for a little while, breathing in the morning’s warm hello, taken aback at how the morning felt a little surreal. Perhaps, it was due to the sleep that finally, he had the privilege to enjoy. For the first in a very long time, he actually felt peace upon waking up, not from a nightmare but from what one would call lala-land. He couldn’t exactly recall what he had dreamed of, but he was certain it was something good.

The lead singer did not want to dwell on who brought him to bed, Yunho or Yoochun, knowing that the knowledge of it might just stir the chaos he had put to rest the previous night. He had gotten just about enough of the drama. He deserved to be happy, just as everyone said, and he finally got the will to believe n those words.

Pacing around the bedroom, Yoochun scouted for a studded belt as he threw his sleeping best friend a momentarily glance. He passed by the blonde’s bed as he recalled Jaejoong using it the other day. Without a clue of any sort regarding a surprise attack, he inspected Jaejoong’s closet, only to be tackled by the said owner. The lead singer’s limbs snaked around him as he collapsed on the bed. “What the hell?”

“Good morning to you, too.” Jaejoong beamed with his face lighting up as he smiled with his eyes.

“Someone practically had a good morning, too good actually.” Yoochun joked, maneuvering himself out of the blonde’s hold so he could hold Jaejoong in his arms instead. Though almost completely dressed, the raven thought it wouldn’t hurt to lay in bed with Jaejoong for a while before he jumpstart his day. Besides, he had gotten used to the scent of Jaejoong’s bed that he needed it to boost his spirits up. He let the blonde rest his head on his chest as his claimed the older one’s fluffy pillow as they both faced the cream-colored ceiling. “Had a good dream?”

Jaejoong turned to his side, his left cheek now resting on Yoochun’s chest. He gave a short nod. “In it, I had the best best friend in the world.”

“So you’re saying, having that best best friend never existed in real life?”

“Indeed.” The lead singer laughed at their silly game. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Yoochun knew Jaejoong so well, to the extent that he knew the lead singer had never said something in such tone if it wasn’t heartfelt. As to what Jaejoong meant, he had no clue. He can’t exactly remember doing something grand for his friend other than bringing him to their favorite place yesterday morning.

“For being better than the best best friend in the world.” Jaejoong snuggled closer to Yoochun’s embrace.

“Anytime.” The younger raven was about to plant a kiss on the blonde locks when he was interrupted by the door that revealed the leader.

Frozen, Yunho stood there, feeling like he just had a cold shower. “The driver’s waiting.” He stated before he left. It only took him a few seconds to get over the initial shock, because really, that was all there was to it, shock. He had never seen the two so intimate like that. It made him wonder if they had been that intimate all along and he just failed to notice. If they had been so, it was a good thing he had never come across the two when he and Jaejoong were still together. Yunho was afraid he might not think twice beating Yoochun up for touching his lover, now ex-lover, in a way only he had the right to. As the leader backed away from the soul mates’ room, he went to the dining room to wash the coldness and negativity away with a cup of hot coffee.

The leader’s mind swirled along with the coffee as he gave it a stir. He had a long day ahead and he couldn’t start it downbeat, it would just be very unprofessional. Thus, he chose to forget what he had seen just now and move on with the schedule.

“I’m off to the salon.” Yoochun poked his head to the dining room to bid Yunho a goodbye.

“See you later.” Yunho replied, feeling a tad guilty at how he could think of his dongsaeng like that. They had known each other for almost a decade now and he felt bad for doubting the younger’s intention. He shook his head at the useless thoughts that he had indulged himself into once Yoochun disappeared from his view.

Moments later, Jaejoong came in with his bed hair and crumpled shirt. He wore that attitude that screamed I-just-got-out-of-bed-but-am-still-holier-than-thou. As if his hair wasn’t ruffled enough, the blonde scratched the back of his head as he yawned. “Good morning.” He greeted the lone occupant of the room.

Yunho could only watch and fight the urge to gap as Jaejoong brought sunshine through the doorway when he entered. It needn’t be stated, as it was more than evident that Yunho just had to register it in his mind; there was something new to Jaejoong, like something good had happened. “Good morning.” He greeted back, unable to return Jaejoong’s smile for he was still in a daze. He’s eyes followed the lead singer as the slightly older guy grabbed a cup.

“Yunho?” Jaejoong waved a hand in front of the leader. “What’s wrong?” Though he had an idea what might have caused Yunho’s astonishment, he still dared to ask. It was probably the change of attitude that even he had to cope up with. It hadn’t been easy coming out of his shell and running away from the dark clouds that had formed atop his head.

Blinking a few times, Yunho regained his composure. He just managed to doze off right in front of Jaejoong. Great, just great. “You’ve changed.”

“Did I?” Jaejoong smiled, totally knowing what Yunho meant, as he poured himself a cup of Yunho’s pot of black coffee.

“You seem…” The leader tried to find the exact word to describe how Jaejoong was practically shining with happiness just now. “I don’t know. But something seems new.”

Jaejoong raised an eyebrow, amused at how Yunho can’t quite place a finger on what the new thing was supposed to be. “Don’t look at me like that. I swear I didn’t commit a crime or something!” Really, now, the chance of going back to how they had used to be seemed so possible it was as though within reach, just a few steps away.

One of the things Yunho had immensely missed was the staring at Jaejoong openly without digging into his brain for an excuse. Despite the blonde’s attempt to drive his attention away from him, Yunho just stared more, watching the lead singer’s every move. “I thought you no longer like my coffee?” He commented as Jaejoong took a sip of the coffee the leader had prepared.

“I never said such thing!” The lead singer said in defense.

“But you never touched the coffee I made a few days ago.” Yunho reminded Jaejoong, reminding himself in the process at how disappointed he had been realizing that he couldn’t even get the blonde to like his coffee.

“I took a sip.” Jaejoong corrected the leader, pointing his index finger in the air. “It’s not my favorite thing, but it’s tolerable.” He joked, taking a sip before making a disgusted face.

Witnessing Jaejoong’s attitude, Yunho couldn’t help but get dragged along by it. The foul mood he had picked up on his way from the soul mates’ room got easily discarded, thus, he was now ready for the day. “Is it really that bad?” He jerked along, knowing full well that Jaejoong was only trying to pull his strings.

---

When Jaejoong was happy, it had been written down in their self-made tradition that Yoochun was, too. More than anything, the raven felt like the older guy was his twin, judging by how much Jaejoong’s mood can influence his. With a bright aura around him, he entered the building where the salon he had been frequenting stood. He took off his hat once he pushed the glass door open. “Good morning.” He smiled at the stylists as he took the seat in front of the mirror before searching through his sling bag for his ipod.

“You’re quite early. Your appointment is at 10, if I’m not mistaken.” A middle aged woman approached the young man, handing him a magazine to keep him entertained while he was waiting.

“My driver arrived earlier than expected. I didn’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Heesoo-shii always arrives ten minutes before his appointment so he’ll be here soon.” The woman smiled at the raven before taking her leave.

Flipping through the pages of the magazine that was handed to him just a while ago, he waited for his favorite hairdresser. It was the Singles Magazine that had been recently out in the market and sold out in minute’s time. It was just then that he finally got to read what was written about them, reflecting the writer’s views. As he scanned from page to page, he found himself reading the article over and over.

Yoochun chuckled, unable to hold it in. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that the interviewer got the hots for Jaejoong. Apparently, the writer had been unable to suppress that fascination towards the lead singer and it showed. It was as if the writer had been speaking for himself with his professionalism pushed to the side with the way he had complimented Jaejoong’s uniqueness and it was obvious how the guy favored the blonde over the rest of them. Though it was practically biased, Yoochun couldn’t blame the writer because, Jaejoong was just special. Perhaps, more special than what his pen could ever write.

The next thing that caught his attention was Yunho’s photos and that was when it hit him. The writer-slash-photographer wasn’t the straightest man he had encountered. But he knew that the man was professional enough to know what was off limits for him. He wasn’t certain about the writer’s orientation though, after, they were all just his assumptions.

It was a tap on his shoulder that tore his eyes from the magazine. He pulled his earphones off to acknowledge his stylist’s presence but he was surprised when he turned to face the guy. “Ji Hoon.” He got on his feet and bowed at the new comer, which was replied the same deed.

“Didn’t expect to see you here. How’s it going?” Ji Hoon took the seat beside his recently-found acquaintance. He had a photo shoot with Yoochun and his gang together with Song Seung Heon, three months ago for Lotte Duty Free. There was no denying that they immediately clicked.

“It’s been busy. Going back and forth from Korea to Japan sure is tiring.” Yoochun shut the magazine so as to not be rude to his companion. “I heard you’ll be participating in the “Spread the Love” concert.”

“I am. I guess I’ll see you guys there.” Ji Hoon replied, instantly eyeing the magazine on the younger one’s lap. “Gracing the cover again. You surely are dominating the kpop world.” He commented, eyes still on the glossy cover.

“Not at all.” Yoochun shook his head in objection. “It had been quite nerve wracking to anticipate our own comeback. We had no clue how the fans would react or if there are even fans waiting for us.”

Ji Hoon nodded aimlessly, knowing exactly what the other was trying to point out for he had been there, he had done that. “Hard work is the key, trust me.” It was a straight to the point, right on the very spot, bull’s eye advice that Ji Hoon had tried himself, and it worked. Yoochun seemed to be a very nice guy, so he never hesitated sharing his not so little secret with him.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” Delighted at the older man’s concern, Yoochun handed out the magazine that wasn’t even his. “Here, take it for free.”

“It’s the salon’s? I’ pretty sure you shouldn’t be giving this away” Ji Hoon asked as he chuckled, tilting his head to the side before flipping the pages.

“Nah, I can talk my way through it.” Yoochun laughed. “Besides, they really have no say in it if you want to take it home, now, do they?” He joked, earning laughter from the tall guy.

“Hey there! Have you been waiting for long?” Heesoo, the stylist, entered the salon and greeted one of his favorite customers, Yoochun. “Oh Ji Hoon! You’re here as well.”

“Business seems to be in full bloom.” Ji Hoon commented.

Heesoo just chuckled, wanting to go straight to business since he had two people two attend to. “Whom should I start with?”

“I have time to kill, Ji Hoon goes first.” Yoochun thought he’d rather be polite towards the other guy, not wanting to give the man a bad impression of himself. With a huge name as Rain was concerned, Yoochun can’t take any risk of disgracing his name, especially when it wasn’t his image alone that was at stake. But, he wasn’t being nice just to please the star, not even close. Ji Hoon had been nice ever since, so he thought it wouldn’t hurt giving the kindness back.

“But he came in here first.”

Heesoo could only shake his head at the young men’s stubbornness. “You kids. Let’s go on a first-come-first-served basis, shall we?” He disappeared to prepare everything he knew he might need and returned in no time to work on Yoochun. He carefully consulted his customer, like he had always done, before he did his magic.

“Seems like you can put that magazine to good use.” Yoochun eyed the tall singer through the mirror who merely gave him a smile as he started scanning page by page. “Ah.” His features lit up as something struck his memory. “I remember seeing a documentation about you about three weeks ago.”

“What about it?” Ji Hoon looked up, tearing his attention away from the glossy colored papers.

“Are you aware of Jaejoong’s family back ground?”

“I’ve heard of it. He was an adopted kid and now has two moms. Why?”

“Well, Jae and I had seen the documentation. At that part about your mother, I noticed he was sniffing. And he said, he wouldn’t mind sharing his moms with you.”

“He cried?” Ji Hoon couldn’’t exactly tell why he felt comfortable around this guy despite the touchy subject. Sure, he had been over his mother’s death, but talking about such things was supposed to stir things up just a bit. But with Yoochun, nothing felt awkward. “He’s an interesting guy.” He commented idly.

“Indeed. Perhaps the most special I’ve ever met so far.”

There was an spark in the raven’s eyes that Ji Hoon couldn’t possibly miss. It was as if there was something behind that simple comment, and it intrigued him. Maybe, Kim Jaejoong was really special. “How so?”

The question got Yoochun thinking. He had been so used to the blonde’s company that he can’t pinpoint what was so special about him, he just knew Jaejoong was, no questions asked. “I can’t really tell. I guess once you get to know him, you’ll find out.”

“Too bad I didn’t get to talk to him during the photo shoot back then. He seemed so distant so I thought I shouldn’t bother him.” He could still remember that one smile the blonde singer had flashed him moths ago. It was as if it was intended to remain etched in his memory. He could remember how that smile could suck you in but won’t let you through. Back then, he thought it was just him getting odd ideas. But now that Yoochun had mentioned it, it might not just be his imagination.

“Distant?” The younger raven was confused at first but realization hit him in no time. Ji Hoon basically had witnessed one of those moments where Jaejoong poured all his undivided attention to a certain person’s bucket, doing so in a discrete manner. “I’ll introduce you to him next time we meet.” And by then, he was sure there wouldn’t be any bucket around to take every drop of the lead singer’s attention.

“I’ll hold on to that.” Ji Hoon jokingly replied.

“”You might as well read the article about him.” Yoochun pointed at the magazine on the older guy’s lap. “It would give you quite a preview. And oh, if you like to have a drink, he’ll never disappoint you.”

---
A/N: Do i have to say anything? oh~! obviously, a new character is introduced. my loyal readers probably know what's gonna happen~ now, now. Behave and don't assume too much, okay? XDD

Sanctuary of Regrets - Ch3

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:38:21 GMT

Title: Sanctuary of Regrets
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: 3/?
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slight Fluff and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Yunho contemplated about his feelings for Jaejoong and realized that they no longer clicked like they used to. Their break up caused Jaejoong to seek solace from his best friend, Yoochun, who was more than willing to console the lead singer. Despite the touchy roll of events, Yunho and Jaejoong tried to remain friends. Emotions were set free, agony was let go, feelings grow. It took Yunho a break up just to realize what he had lost.
Beta: None.
Notes: After ages, an update. No one's really looking forward to this compared to my other fic/s but i don't wan to abandon this. A longer chapter to make up for the lack of update~

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

---

What met Yoochun’s eyes the very moment he pried them open was sunshine, not in a form of light but rather messed up blonde locks and a body curled-up to a ball by his side. The lead vocalist was definitely awake, the younger raven concluded. “How long have you been there?” He wasn’t bothered by the fact that he might disturb the older guy’s very much deserved sleep, knowing full well what he was dealing with.

“Mmh~” Was the only reply Jaejoong mustered.

“I know you’re awake.” The raven brought an arm above the messy head so his fingers could get lost into the light strands.

“Still sleepy.” The lead singer mumbled once again.

Yoochun let out a mid-toned chuckle at Jaejoong’s attempt to cover himself up. “Your curled toes gave your pretense away.” His fingers were still lost, not minding if they’ll find their way back.

“Since last night.” Finding no point in carrying on his little act, especially when Yoochun could go all day at deciphering every sign, Jaejoong gave up the show.

“Spill.” Yoochun knew the older guy to well, so well that Jaejoong need not to utter a word for him to know that something was definitely up.

“I miss him.”

And all this time, Jaejoong had been pretending that everything was perfectly fine, that he wasn’t bothered if Yunho had found someone new, that he didn’t long for the sideway glance the leader had always thrown his way during interviews, that he didn’t yearn for the those slender fingers on his thigh, that he didn’t ache just to have Yunho back. And all of those, Yoochun was aware of. “Go shower, I’ll take you somewhere.”

The lead singer obediently did as he was told; knowing that his band mate was doing him a favor, although he couldn’t place a finger on it just yet.

---

“What time is it?”

“Don’t bother yourself with the time, Han River missed you.” Yoochun reminded the blonde, his tone holding assurance. He wanted to give Jaejoong the privilege to relax, to feel no need for pretension.

It was fairly dark and the sun had yet to rise. It gave Jaejoong the guarantee that no one was there to watch, to judge, to mingle with what he felt and who he was. For once, after quite some time, he could be himself. He had molded himself into a person who was essential for DBSK to remain at top of the weekly countdowns, search engines and on the cover of top selling magazines. And on top of those, he didn’t want to commit any mistake that would burden the leader. And the pretense was wearing him out, if not slowly killing him.

The lead singer sat on the grass before lying completely on the ground. Staring at the still starry sky, he was reminded of why he was unable to sleep every night. It was unbelievably hard to accept that he no longer held Yunho’s undivided attention and it was sickening to the point that he couldn’t even begin to accept that they were rally over. Who was he fooling when he said all he could do was to move on? He could only chuckle at the insanely impossible thought, and he let the cold morning breeze embrace and soothe his washed-out soul.

Jaejoong knew it was too stupid of him to hope that being himself would make him happier, when the real him only wanted to scream and cry at Yunho’s feet. The blonde couldn’t remember being this lost, clueless and scared of what the future held for him. Because from where he was standing now, the so called future didn’t sound as inviting as it used to be when Yunho promised him forever and a day. He couldn’t remember feeling so empty, where his hands got nothing to hold on to; no promises, no nothing. He couldn’t remember being so deprived of Yunho, of his scent, of his smile, of his touch and of his kisses. All he could remember was the sting his heart felt before it had shattered into pieces and fell mercilessly around his feet, looking so impossible for him to sew back together. But how could he not remember? The pain had always been glued to him since the break up. It was like his very own shadow, only, it could reach him where his shadow can’t – in the dark.

And there Jaejoong was, back at square one with the thought of moving on pushed to the back of his mind just because a part of him, which was the majority, was reluctant to forget Yunho. “Chun.” Jaejoong called, his voice almost a whisper, when everything became too nauseating. His hands roamed at his sides in search of something that wouldn’t make him feel so alone, even just for a moment; his pride silently telling him not to admit he was lonesome.

“I’m here.” Yoochun went to his best friend’s aid, grasping the blonde’s hand before letting it go almost immediately so he could take the older guy’s head in his hands. He then rested Jaejoong’s head on his lap with utmost care. His movements were so sure and fluid, as if they were planned beforehand. “Do you trust me?”

The question came out of the blue, but Jaejoong could use some distraction. In fact, it was what he needed to stray away from the thoughts that held him by his neck. “I do.” There was no room for hesitation simply because Yoochun and trust were synonymous to the blonde. “You didn’t have to ask, you know I do.”

Playing with the silky blonde locks, Yoochun went on. “Will you listen to me from here on out?” He knew he was asking for too much, but he just can’t stand watching his best friend as the lead singer fell in slow motion, not when he could run to save him.

Unlike the previous question, Jaejoong had to contemplate before he could give his answer. This time, it wasn’t a belt or a pair of shoe he was giving away and he couldn’t afford to make another mistake, although he knew Yoochun was the last person who would dare to hurt him. But what bothered the blonde was just like him, his friend was a human, entitled of a mistake or two. Then again, between the two of them, Jaejoong knew he was way more careless. Plus, at that point, he was no better than a lost child not knowing where to go, prone to the dangers that lurked around. He then realized, there was nothing better than to grab Yoochun’s offered hand; at least someone was there to guide his every step. “Yes, as long as you’re willing to put up with my stubbornness.”

“I’ve been dealing with it for as long as I could remember. It won’t hurt putting up with it a little longer, would it?” Yoochun chuckled, aware of the weight he had lifted off of the lead singer’s shoulders.

“Thank you.” Jaejoong got up in a sitting position and lunged himself towards Yoochun for a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to. Just listen to me and that’s enough.” Yoochun wrapped an arm around his friend, soothing his back in an up and down motion.

“What do you want me to do?” The lead singer pulled away, albeit reluctantly.

“Be yourself. And no, not you’re depressed-because-I’m-heart-broken self.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You do understand, you just can’t remember who you were.” Yoochun held the singer’s hands, wanting every single word to get to Jaejoong. “The Jaejoong I know was carefree. He doesn’t care what people say just as long as he could sing the way he wants to. He was a guy who laughs and cries just because he can. He used to make everyone happy just because he was there.”

“I seemed so happy back then.” The lead singer looked down and played with his best friend’s fingers.

“Because you were, and everyone loved you for that.”

“And I sounded so egocentric.” Jaejoong bit his lip in shame, a light shade of pink surfacing his cheeks.

Yoochun didn’t hold his laughter. “Because you were. And I kinda missed that side of you. So if you don’t mind, I’d want to get that person back.”

“Do what you please.”

---

It had been half past five and the sun was barely up when the soul mates had made it back to their apartment. Yoochun immediately had put the lead singer to bed for a well deserved sleep before collapsing beside him since Jaejoong refused to sleep alone. Their next schedule was at 11 so the raven didn’t retaliate further.

After a couple of hours, Yoochun stirred from his sleep, narrowing his eyes as the morning light smiled at him. His gaze then fell on the lead singer who was sleeping so peacefully. Yoochun had not seen the older guy so serene for a long time so he thought he’d rather not disturb him. He maneuvered out of the bed with the slightest of movements not to wake the older guy up before marching out of their shared room.

“It’s surprising to see you not hogging the game controller.” Yoochun teased as he passed by a seemingly busy Junsu by the couch, reading. The older decided it wouldn’t hurt to take a seat, so he did.

“I don’t think they’d appreciate my squeaks.”

Knowing exactly who the juvenile guy was pertaining to, he gave the boy’s head a good pat. “That’s considerate of you, thanks.”

Junsu could only give his hyung a frown. “Why are you thanking me?”

“Just accept the gratitude.” Yoochun patted the boy’s head and stood up to leave, slightly relieved that the guy didn’t take it worse than Changmin had. If Junsu did, he would have taken the matter to his hands right then and there, just so not to pile another headache atop Jaejoong’s already piled up head. But so far, Jaejoong have yet to break down or anything and the raven-head didn’t know whether to be thankful or worried. “But, I’m pretty sure they would appreciate some life around here. Go ahead and play.”

---

For the second time in a week, Yunho found himself sitting at the couch just because he felt the need to. Jaejoong and Yoochun, again, didn’t go straight home after the filming of Come to Play. He was worried that the occasional soul mate’s night out was becoming a ritual and as a leader, he couldn’t and shouldn’t tolerate such careless act. What if something went out of hand when the two were out late at night? It wouldn’t only affect the band but he feared what could happen to his treasured friends. Yes, Yoochun and Jaejoong were old enough but despite that, no one can really tell what the night might bring.

As he sat there alone, he couldn’t help but recall the day’s activities and how different Jaejoong seemed to be. He didn’t know if it was just him or did the lead singer seem cheerful? He played in his mind how Jaejoong’s hand had once again found its way towards his mouth to suppress a laugh, which Jaejoong seemed to have forgotten. But today, the blonde’s eyes actually lit up and the atmosphere in the whole studio brightened up, though Yunho bet Jaejoong himself was unaware of that. Even the host took notice of Jaejoong, saying that he could rely on the lead singer to lighten up the mood and fill it with laughter. And it was one of the things Yunho had dearly missed. Not just once did he think that the lead singer kept a handful of sunshine in his pockets and could brighten up his day with a swing of his hand. Moreover, Jaejoong even interacted with him normally, as if everything was okay and they hadn’t just broken up two days ago. As silly as it might sound, Yunho found himself grabbing every opportunity to talk to his ex-lover.

But how could he not? Yunho hardly saw Jaejoong. When they were at home, the blonde almost always isolated himself in the music or the bedroom with Yoochun. The leader could only assume if the blonde was only making excuses to avoid him or if Jaejoong would rather spend his precious time with his best friend. But whichever it was, it only came down to one conclusion – Yunho was out of the picture.

No, he wasn’t jealous of Yoochun, knowing that the soul mate’s considered each other as a brother; nothing more, nothing less. Besides, what’s there to be jealous about? Last time he checked, he no longer had the right to get jealous. But of course! He and Jaejoong were over.

However, what bothered him was the fact that he couldn’t get through to the lead singer. He didn’t know what ran on his mind, what was he thinking or how was he feeling. It was as if he was an outcast when back then, he knew Jaejoong like the back of his hand.

The longer the two were away, the deeper his worry got; that Yunho can conclude. An odd sensation was beginning to take place in the pit of his stomach. He should have been more responsible and warned his band mates beforehand. Yes, it might not be the first time this happened, but before, Jaejoong had always told him everything he needed to know. Unlike the situation at hand, Yunho had not a single clue where his lead singer could be, or if he was okay, or if he was having fun. Well, he could only wish Jaejoong was okay; and Yoochun, too.

A sound from the direction of the doorway cut Yunho’s thoughts short and his head instantly turned to the wall clock that read half past 11am. With a long sigh out of relief, he pulled himself together, got up and went to greet the new comers. He wasn’t planning on being rough on the two despite their careless acts, really, he didn’t mean to. “Do you know how late it is?” Try as he might, he couldn’t remember ever sounding that harsh. The words slithered between his teeth without his consent and the leader himself was astounded at his own words. But it was nothing compared to the shock the sight struck him with.

Jaejoong’s giggles were caught up in his throat, choked by Yunho’s presence, as he was still being piggy-backed by his friend. Embarrassment surfaced, causing the blonde singer to hide his face from the leader out of reflex; the very same reflex which told him that Yoochun’s neck was the safest place. Yunho was probably thinking that Jaejoong was being weird, silly, childish, and everything along those lines. Though sober, Jaejoong can’t completely claim that alcohol has no say in the situation they were in. No way will he jump on his dongsaeng’s back and pout his way to be carried to their apartment without alcohol’s help.

The sight irked Yunho, so very damn much. Not because of how comfortable the lead singer looked around, quite literally too, Yoochun. It was rather because of how the two were so carefree, so careless while he had sat there, alone, letting worry eat him. Obviously, the soul mates weren’t aware of how the leader had almost resorted to biting his nails while waiting for them to safely come home, all the while praying that no harm will come their way. He felt betrayed. “This is just plain irresponsible!” He added; six notes higher that what was normally considered calm.

“I’m s – ”

“I’m sorry.” Yoochun cut the blonde off. No way will he let Jaejoong succumb under Yunho’s supremacy this time. If someone had to go down, it would most definitely not the lead singer who obviously had had enough of the lows. It wouldn’t hurt sharing his best friend’s extra load now, would it. Besides, even if protecting Jaejoong would hurt him at the end of the day, he could careless. And no, he wasn’t siding with Jaejoong, not hundred percent at least. “Sorry for worrying you.” Determination was out of the question since once Yoochun made a decision, there was no turning back; he will protect Jaejoong in the best way he knew how.

Yunho didn’t know since when he had developed a soft spot for Yoochun. The next second, he found himself mumbling, “I don’t want this to happen again, go rest.” It might be the willpower that surrounded the younger one just now, though what caused such look on the other’s face was beyond him. It was as if Yoochun just cast a spell on him with one look and felt totally odd. Yoochun had always been obedient and mindful of others unlike his best friend who had a bit of egocentricity etched on his skin. Just then, he had to wonder, despite being poles apart personality-wise, why and how the two were so close, so close that it was almost unnerving, almost.

“Thank you.” Jaejoong finally had his say on the situation, only it was too late since Yoochun already started carrying him to their shared room. He wanted to apologize for his misbehavior but it was crystal clear that his best friend didn’t want him to do so. He dared not to ask, aware that Yoochun completely knew what he was doing. Thus, he just let himself be carried without any retaliation, no matter how begging for Yunho’s forgiveness sounded so tempting. Never had he seen Yunho so angry and never had he dreamed of seeing his ex-lover so mad. Long ago, so long that his memory had failed him, he had decided and told himself that Yunho and rage didn’t sit well together and he didn’t want to see any trace of it on the leader’s features. Since what happened had already happened, he could see no point in going over it again and again, unless he had a time machine, which of course, he had not. “Chunnie-yah~” He buried his head onto the younger one’s neck once again.

The sudden childishness in the blonde’s tone caught Yoochun off guard. “Hmm?” But he wasn’t complaining, not even close. He positioned himself so the lead singer could set his feet on the ground.

“Thank you.” Jaejoong chastely kissed the raven’s cheek before unlatching himself from the guy.

“You’re always welcome.” Yoochun smiled and replied, ruffling the older one’s hair. It made him wonder since when did they switch positions in their hyung-dongsaeng relationship.

---

No, Jaejoong wouldn’t dare to lie to himself this time. He ought to admit he had wanted to cry, cry out loud for goodness’ sake! But he can’t, not because he was holding himself because a voice from nowhere told him so. It just won’t happen, simple as that. Although he wanted to let everything out, thinking that crying would be the best solution, the tears won’t just come out.

Thus, the blonde opted to watch a movie. If he couldn’t cry over his own misery, at least he could cry over a movie. Alone, at the wee of hours, he sat on the couch, hugging a pillow to himself, his hold getting tighter as the end drew near, signaling the success of his plan. Tears were now streaming down his face and he couldn’t be bothered just to wipe them.

Soon enough, he had lost the meaning of his tears along with his control. He just cried; and cried; and cried some more until he had to catch his breath in between the muffled sobs while the movie kept on rolling, ignored by its lone viewer. He no longer had the will to stop himself from doing what he should have done long ago. He just realized how bottled up he had been lately, shutting everyone, anyone out who dared come close to his genuine emotions. He had to admit, he had been hiding his aches all along even to his best friend.

Aches caused by the loss of a person he held closest to his heart; so close it was almost him he was breathing in with every intake of air. He missed the scent of that person’s scent filling his nostrils. He missed that person’s tender hand on his thighs. He missed that person’s fingers laced with his own. He missed that exciting, almost nauseating , atmosphere whenever that person was around. He missed the kisses that that person had always showered him with on his toes, his knees, his tummy, his chest, his hands, his elbows, his shoulders, his neck, his nose, his ears, his cheeks, his chin, his forehead, his hair, and most of all, his lips. Every part of him missed every inch of Yunho, that person whom had given him everything but left him with nothing except the nauseas every 2am.

“Jae?”

To the blonde’s horror, it was the voice that had been haunting him in his wake while it plagued him in his dreams. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he was drowned in his own loud heart beats. Of all the people who could catch him on his lowest, most vulnerable and unguarded state where there was no room, no door for any escape, why should it be Yunho? Why, why, why, why? They were the only words that surfaced his mind, spinning in circles, running back and forth, bumping to each other side by side. Someone must have damned him; that had to be it.

“That movie again?” Yunho chuckled, unaware of the other’s misery; thinking that the blonde was crying over his favorite movie – A Walk to Remember. It had been etched in Yunho’s memory how unfathomable was the movie to Jaejoong and he understood why. The movie was good, okay, but the blonde’s obsession was too much for him to handle.

Having the feeling that fate had been toying him around, he decided it was best to play along, as if he had another option. “Are you making fun of me?” He wiped his tears with the back of his hands before throwing the leader a hurt look that came with a pout.

“I’m not!” Yunho raised his arms like a suspect caught red handed in a middle of a crime. “Don’t get to defensive. I was just amused at how this movie had made you cry for the 17^th time.”

“Have you been counting?” Jaejoong once again lost track of himself. A minute or so, he was getting all worked up about his loss. But now, there he was, having a conversation with that person like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, like the way they used to talk senselessly.

“Of course.” Yunho got no reply other than a sniff. “Can I sit here?”

There was no way Jaejoong could deny the request, especially when every patch of his skin screams for Yunho’s presence at the shortest proximity as possible. The blonde simply move to the side from his previous position at the middle of the couch for two.

“I’m sorry.” The leader spoke, his voice husky and low out of shame. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier.”

“Oh.” Jaejoong’s mind went absent for a moment, thanks to Yunho’s heart throbbing company. The lead singer had to collect his words and pull himself together just to come up with a coherent reply. “It’s okay. I understand.” He really did. It was practically his fault. He had insisted for another five more minutes in the bar. The five turned thirty and it went on and on.

“You always do.” Yunho muttered without giving it much thought.

“Huh?” Jaejoong had to give the leader a sideward glance just to make sure he heard him right. If so, his tone demanded for an explanation.

“You’ve been so understanding and thoughtful every second of the day.” Yunho was certain about those facts but what he was unsure of was if he really had to say it. It was an observation he had kept to himself before he could remember and it bothered him to some point. “Aren’t you tired of thinking about other people before you think of yourself?”

Out of confusion, Jaejoong turned to his side to look Yunho in the eyes, only to find the simple action excruciating. The leader’s presence, accompanied by his serious tone and those eyes that ware sucking him in scared him. He had a feeling that should he stare in those orbs longer, the deeper he’ll be sucked in to a place he wasn’t sure existed. “What are you saying?” The blonde inquired, blinking before looking away.

If Yunho wasn’t mistaken, but most probably he was, he saw fear in Jaejoong’s eyes. Then again, it was Jaejoong concerned so one can never complain that what you see is what you get because the blonde was an enigma himself. It was ironic how those beautiful, well-shaped, crystal-like eyes were big yet there wasn’t even a small opening to get through the guy. It was as if there was this transparent barrier that had forbidden him to see what Jaejoong was hiding within; that barrier that made the blonde’s eyes all the more captivating. Oblivious to it, Yunho officially lost himself in Jaejoong’s stare. Thankfully, the lead singer’s equally captivating voice snapped him out of his trance and he realized he was having a cold feet. He had to force a massive amount of sense into his brain just to comprehend the blonde’s question. “Don’t be too selfless.”

If Jaejoong wasn’t sane enough, he’d surely believe he heard Yoochun just now. He could remember his best friend saying the exact same words the day he broke up with the leader. He lifelessly chuckled before saying. “Yoochun told me the same thing.”

“Which just means you ought to listen.”

“But everyone used to complain about my selfishness back then.” The lead singer recalled, almost whining.

“I’m taking it back. And I apologize in behalf of everyone.” Capturing the blonde’s hands in between his own grew to be a temptation as he set his eyes on the target. But he didn’t, knowing that he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. Jaejoong had a soft pair of hands, not the softest he had ever touched; but unlike any other, Jaejoong held sunshine in his hands.

“Aish. You guys are confusing me.” The lead singer grunted and spoke with a playful tone. Jaejoong astounded even himself when there wasn’t any trace of depression that he had been painting his lips every single day. But he wasn’t faking it and in fact, the side he was showing now felt so natural. After who knew how long, he actually felt good. Maybe, just maybe, Yunho was his pain reliever and he once again found hope that he could actually move on. “You have to make it up to me then.” He ordered.

“Only me? That’s not fair; the other’s need to be punished as well.” Yunho faked an unnecessary protest, albeit aware that Jaejoong will have his way in the end.

“I want to watch the movie again. And you’re watching it with me.” He picked up the remote control from the center table to play the movie from the very beginning.

“The title should be A Movie to Remember instead of A Walk to Remember, judging by how you have memorized their lines by now.” The leader teased, liking the atmosphere around them. There was no longer the gloomy, awkward aura that had been hanging by the curtains. It gave him the idea that they can go back to the way they were – happy and cozy.

Jaejoong intently stared at the TV, ignoring Yunho’s comment about his favorite movie. He had lost count of how many times he had seen this movie but could remember he had seen it with Yunho 15 times. It was the fourth time when he had his first kiss; the sixth when he was forced to gulp down Yunho’s sweet coffee; the eighth when they almost made love on the couch; ninth when they finally did made love on the couch. Without noticing, his eyes fluttered close as he replayed the memories.

Seeing that the lead singer had his eyes closed, Yunho took the opportunity to watch Jaejoong in his sleep. He felt the need to do so, thinking that staring at his ex-lover wouldn’t make him feel so outdated. There surely had been a gap not just after but before they had called it quits. He was oblivious to when and how they drifted apart but they did. He had lost possession of the best friend title when they came to an agreement to step their relationship up. Seeming that Yoochun seized the spot he had left, there was no place for him. He no longer knew where he stood; perhaps, he was now just a band mate.

He stared at Jaejoong, obliviously longingly, watching as the flicker for the TV illuminated the blonde’s skin, which countered the attack by reflecting the light cast upon him. Jaejoong just… shined, right before Yunho’s eyes. The light accentuated the lead singer’s nose that he had always enjoyed pinching every now and then.

Yunho didn’t know what he was getting at when he gently pulled Jaejoong to rest his literally sleepy head on his shoulder. The hand that cupped the other side of the lead singer’s cheek was a wee bit reluctant to let go, although Jaejoong was already perfectly settled.

Adrenaline rushed all over Jaejoong as the touch of Yunho’s warm hand burned him. He had been unconscious about his surroundings for the past few minutes, unsure when he had fallen asleep or if he even did. The next thing he knew, he was leaning against the leader. He had not the strength to pull away and definitely had not enough will to push Yunho away. Thus, he opted to fake the sleep. He needn’t had to pretend for long though; he eventually got so comfortable that sleep claimed him like Yunho’s hand did.

“I miss you.” The leader muttered before busying himself listening to the lead singer’s rhythmic breathes. For an hour or so, they remained like that. Not a single second did Yunho ever get tired of the scent of Jaejoong’s shampoo.

“Chun-ah, thank you.” Jaejoong mumbled in his sleep and Yunho’s heart sank to its downfall with grace next to none.

---

A/N: I disappeared for quite a while. I hope some of you still remember me. ^u^

Crossing the Line - Part II

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:38:23 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: Unknown - Part II
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: None.
Notes: Here’s the second part, which I wrote before I even posted the first one. I’m not really intending to post this but im overwhelmed by the response, which im not too sure if it’s good or not.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

“Appa?” Jaejoong poked his head into the dining room in search of his dad.

“Hmm?” Yunho looked up from the news paper he was reading, only to find his son playing with the hem of his crisp white shirt that only made the boy more angelic than he already was.

“How do I turn someone down without hurting his feelings?” Jaejoong asked once seated across his father.

“That’s the fourth confession this month. You’re a heartthrob just like appa, aren’t you?” Yunho couldn’t help but joke around; the embarrassed look on his son’s face was just priceless. “Wait, did you just say his feelings?” He looked at Jaejoong, slightly wide-eyed.

“No, it’s only the third, and yes, it’s a guy.” Jaejoong replied in as as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

Yunho knew his son was beyond gorgeous, but still, it amazed him that the boy could bend people’s sexuality. He wasn’t quite sure whether to be proud or worried about it. Of course, it was an honor to be the father of the closest thing to an angel. But there was no denying the fear that was starting to consume him. Yes, Jaejoong had been confessed to by countless girls but Yunho knew girls around Jaejoong’s age are harmless, or at least, more harmless then the guys. Then again, he was somewhat expecting this to happen. He had a feeling that very day he laid eyes on the once crying little baby, that Jaejoong was bound to steal people’s hearts.

“Appa.” Jaeejoong waved a hand in front of his fathers dazed face.

“Oh.” Yunho blinked his eyes a few times, just enough to pull himself together. “Right.” He cleared his throat to get rid of the lump that formed there. “Tell me more about this guy.”

“Well, I really thought he was into girls. I was shocked, Rella too, and everyone was astounded as well. I mean, he’s handsome, sporty, tall and many girls like him. I didn’t expect that someone like him would actually like me. So I don’t know what to do.” Jaejoong stated as he played with his dad’s empty cup of coffee.

“And what do you think about him?” Yunho intently eyed his son not to miss any sign that would lead him to Jaejoong’s true feelings. But then again, the boy didn’t know how to keep secrets from him, and he definitely can’t lie.

“He’s nice. I don’t think he will hurt me or anything.”

“Are you saying you actually like him?”

“No!” Jaejoong exclaimed as he shook his head, shaking the remnants of sleepiness away in the process. “He’s nice and all but I don’t think I like him like Rella likes Hankyung. Rella said he feels happy whenever Hankyung holds his hand.But when Dongwook held my hands, I wasn’t very happy.” Jaejoong’s expression dropped and so did his mood. “I feel so sad for him.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he said he really likes me. And it must feel very very bad when you like someone who doesn’t like you back. I love appa and I’m lucky and happy and thankful that you love me too. I don’t know what I would do or what would happen to me if you don’t love me back. Dongwook would feel like that if I turned him down. I don’t want to make anyone sad.” The boy looked down and bit his lip out of guilt.

Reaching over the table, Yunho grabbed his son’s smaller hands. “The only person you’re making sad here is yourself.” He enveloped Jaejoong’s hand in between his. “It’s not the end of the world for him if you turn him down.” Using his thumbs, he drew invisible circles at the back of the boy’s hands. “Besides, if he’s as nice as you claimed him to be, he’ll understand.”

Jaejoong finally managed to look up. “You think so?”

Yunho nodded with confidence. “Trust me.”

Feeling relieved of his worries, Jaejoong let out a deep and long sigh. “I just hope he won’t cry when I give him my answer.”

“What made you think that Dongwook guy would cry?” Yunho asked, somewhat amused at Jaejoong’s way of seeing things.

“Because I would cry if appa says he doesn’t love me.”

---

January 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

Aaaahhhhhh~~

I feel so much better after talking to appa. I can always count on him. I’m so lucky to have an appa like him.

He isn’t just handsome, he’s nice, kind, caring, loving, thoughtful, responsible, smart, joyous, pleasant, lively, witty and hardworking too! I can’t find an appa like him anywhere in the world.

P/S: My appa is the best.

Extra ♥’s

Joongie

---

“Hey.” Heechul nudged Jaejoong who was sitting beside him at the school cafeteria as they enjoyed their lunch. “Have you seen Dongwook?”

“Yes, I talked to him this morning.” Jaejoong continued, munching on his choco-pie, which almost fell out of his grasp when his friend elbowed him.

“So, how did it go?” Heechul questioned with a curious glint in his eyes.

Jaejoong made sure there were no bits of chocolate stuck in between his teeth before he answered. “It went well. Appa told me to just be honest and say what I really feel. I did just that and it worked.”

“So you did turn him down after all. I thought you’d never had the guts to.”

“Appa helped me out.” Jaejoong gladly stated.

“You always talk about your father. Appa this, appa that. Don’t you ever get tired?”

“No.” Jaejoong answered ever so straightly, leaving Heechul with only one option.

Heechul could only sigh at his friend’s hopelessness. “Oh! It’s you birthday next week, isn’t it?” He opted to change the topic.

“Yes!” Jaejoong exclaimed, eagerly nodding . “Appa and I are having dinner together.”

“No party whatsoever?”

Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t have many friends anyway. I only have you.”

Faking a glare, Heechul turned to the other boy as he threw him a hurt look. “Are you saying I’m boring?”

Waving his hand in opposition, Jaejoong harshly shook his head. “No! I just thought that parties are only for those with lots of friends.”

“You know what, you’re right. Plus, it can hardly be called a party with you and your dad getting all mushy while I sit and watch.” Heechul nodded to himself with his hand supporting his chin.

“Are we like that? I mean, appa and I?” Jaejoong asked as his eyebrows formed a frown.

“Hell no.” Heechul sarcastically replied, giving his friend a blank look. But of course, Jaejoong missed the sarcasm in his tone. “Seriously though, you should make more friends.”

“But I have you, and that’s enough for me.”

Although it could be annoying at times, Heechul loved Jaejoong for his innocence. The boy was just plain honest, as if it was his middle name. And Heechul swore, if there would one last innocent person on earth, it would most definitely be Jaejoong. “I know. But as much as that flatters me, I’d stick to my suggestion. The more friends you have, the happier you get.”

“Really? But what should I do?”

“Hmm~” Heechul pursed his lips in thought. “Come with me after class. Hankyung and I are going to see a movie. He’d love to meet you, that’s for sure.”

Worry surfaced Jaejoong’s features. “But appa is picking me up.”

“Why don’t you call him? If he allows you then good, if not, we’ll try some other time.”

“I’ll call appa now.” Jaejoong fished the phone from his pocket once His friend gave a short nod. The line was picked up shortly after he pressed the call button. “Hello, appa.”

“Hey bay, what’s up?”

“Heechul’s inviting me to a movie with him and Hankyung.”

“The guy you mentioned last time?”

Jaejoong nodded before realizing his father couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

“I’ll talk to Heechul.”

“Oh, okay.” Jaejoong shoved his phone to the other boy’s hand, resulting to a puzzled Heechul. “Appa wants to talk to you.”

“Uh, Hello.” came Heechul’s awkward greeting.

“Heechul?”

“Yes?”

“Take care of my son.”

“I will.”

“You’ve known him long enough to know how he is. Make sure he’s with a good company. Don’t let him get hurt. Don’t – ”

“Yunho-shi, we’re only seeing a movie, not picking a fight.”

“Oh, right.”

“Don’t worry too much, I’ll take charge.” Heechul caught Jaejoong looking expectant as he bite his bottom lip.

“I’m entrusting you with Jaejoong. If anything bad happens to him, there won’t be a second time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll take care of him, Hankyung will do so too.”

“Thank you, Heechul. Can I talk to Jaejoong?”

Heechul gave the phone back to Jaejoong, his smile carrying good news.

“Appa, thank you.” Jaejoong smiled against his phone.

“You have until six. Call me if something comes up.”

“I will.” He repeatedly nodded. “Thank you so much.”

“I love you, baby. Take care.”

“Okay, I love you too.”

Heechul could only watch as Jaejoong get sappy with his dad, again. He couldn’t imagine how dreadful it would be for Yunho when his son starts dating. It was somewhat bothering him how overprotective his friend’s father was, but then, Jaejoong never seem to mind so there was nothing to worry about. Besides, he couldn’t blame Yunho for loving too much, and Jaejoong too.

“Appa said we have until six.”

“Until six then.”

---

It was five minutes to six when Yunho heard a familiar laughter and his head snapped up at once. He had been sitting on the front porch for hours with his phone in hand. It was a fairly cold night but wearing a thick coat hadn’t crossed his mind.

“Appa!” Jaejoong came running to his father, all smiles.

Yunho got up and walked towards his son with a pace once could barely call a walk, then gave the boy a hug. “Welcome home.” The relief he felt having Jaejoong back was beyond his expectation. He let go of his son, allowing one of his hands to remain on the boy’s waist as he pulled Jaejoong to his side then faced the boy’s company. “You guys wanna come in?”

“Heechul has a curfew, I have to send him home before six-thirty. I’m Hankyung by the way, nice to meet you.” The boy politely bowed.

“I’m Yunho, nice to meet you too.” Yunho then turned to Heechul an ruffled the boy’s hair. “Thank you, kid.”

“At your service, sir!” Heechul saluted. “Correction though, I’m not a kid.”

“If you say so.” Yunho replied, causing a chuckle from Hankyung and a giggle from his son.

“Fine, gang up on me.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest as he glared at Hankyung.

“We should get going now.” Hankyung pulled his boyfriend’s hand and bowed again.

“Be careful on your way.”

“Bye! I’ll see you tomorrow at school, Rella.” Jaejoong called after them.

“Is he really Jaejoong’s dad?” Hankyung uttered in disbelief.

Heechul giggled since he could totally see where his boyfriend was coming form. “Yes, he is.”

“He’s so young. And they look like – ”

“Brothers?” Heechul cut Hankyung off.

“No, something else.”

“I think I know what you mean.”

---

January 19, 2009

Dear Diary,

I had lots of fun today! \^o^/

I went to see a movie with Rella and his prince. The movie was so funny…my stomach was hurting by the end of it.

Hankyung was really nice. He treated us to popcorns. I’m not sure what Rella told him but Hankyung said I was like what he had imagined, only a little better.

I hope Rella didn’t tell him anything bad about me. But I know Rella won’t do that because he loves me.

And I think Rella loves Hankyung too. He looked so happy around him, and so did Hankyung.

During the movie, I was eating my popcorn and I happen to look sideways.

Then…

I saw them kissing and I was like O_O

I was so embarrassed that I had to look away and ate lots of popcorns. Then I got curious so I took a peek again.

They were no longer kissing and they were smiling. They looked so happy.

Well, I get happy as well when appa kisses my forehead or my hair or my nose or my cheeks or my hands or my knees.

I told appa about all these and he just laughed, so I laughed to.

♥

Happy Joongie

---

A/N: i myself am not sure about the length of this fic. i could leave it hanging there if i want to, but that would be mean, won't it? Aish, idk what to do~ *_* And about the comments that i have not replied, thank you and im sorry~ it's just that it might affect the story if i dwell too much on your comments. im really sorry~

Crossing the Line - Part I

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:10:00 GMT

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: Unknown - Part I
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Band/s: DBSK
Pairing: YunJae
Warning: Incest, Yaoi, Appa!Yunho, Innocent!Jae
Summary: Lost in a world of their own, it's a battle figuring out when, where and how they crossed the line, if they even did.
Beta Reader/s: None.
Notes: An unexpected fic. Yeah i wasn't originally planning on writing this, but i thought i had to. So, tada~ another incest from me. Read at your own risk people.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

“See you later, appa!” Jaejoong said with enthusiasm after giving his father a kiss on the cheek. He got out off the car and frantically waved until the sleek red sports car disappeared from his view.

“Jae!” Someone called just when he was about to enter the school grounds.

Jaejoong searched and found his friend waiting for him by the gate. “Good morning, Rella!”

“Shut it! Our childhood days are over.” The boy laughed, eliciting a frown on his friend’s features. “At least mine is, I’m not sure about yours.” He grinned.

“Eh?” Jaejoong’s eyebrows creased in confusion. “How can you say that?”

The boy leaned closer to Jaejoong and whispered. “Hankyung kissed me last night.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened to the size of a platter. “Oh Kim Heechul! You got your first kiss!” He exclaimed out of excitement and astonishment altogether, loud enough for everyone around to hear. A hand came to cover his mouth; Heechul’s of course.

Heechul dragged his friend inside to save himself from further embarrassment. Once in the school building, he let the other guy go. “Well, it’s just about time, I’m already 15. You are too, so you should have your first kiss soon.”

Jaejoong blushed at the thought and could only look at his feet while they made their way to their class room.

“You’re as innocent as ever.” Heechul chuckled.

---

“Don’t forget your homework, okay?” Jaejoong reminded his best friend as they walked out of the classroom side by side.

“I’ won’t, I won’t.” Heechul nonchalantly nodded as they turned to a corner.

“And our physics project is due on Friday.”

“Yes, umma.”

“You’re not taking me seriously.” Jaejoong pouted.

“Let’s just hurry. Your handsome father is waiting.”

“Is he?” Jaejoong’s mood lightened up at the mere mention of his father.

“Yep.” Heechul confidently nodded. “I saw him when I looked out the window. He’s been turning heads and getting second looks.” He giggled.

“What? Why is that?”

“He was leaning against the red car, looking cool as always. They probably think he’s single. Well, he is single. Would you mind if I marry him one day?” He earned a smack on the arm, a not so light one at that. Who knew such naïve-looking boy like Jaejoong could hit so hard? Definitely not Heechul. “Geez, I was just kidding. You didn’t have to go that far.” He complained, rubbing his abused arm.

“I should teach you a lesson not to joke about my appa.”

“Don’t you feel weird calling him that? I mean, Yunho’s only 12 years older than you.”

“Mmh~” Jaejoong puckered his lips in thought. “I never had another father, so ican’t really tell if it’s weird or not.”

“You have a point.” Heechul nodded to himself. “There he is.” He pointed to Yunho with his chin. “He really is handsome.” He commented as they continued walking towards the guy.

“Of course. He’s my appa after all.” Jaejoong happily stated.

“You have to watch out though, he might be caught in someone’s bait one way or another, sooner or later.” With that said, he pushed Jaejoong, causing the boy to trip on his own feet and stumble against his father who caught him just in the nick of time.

“I hate you.” Jaejoong threw his friend a half-hearted glare with his lips formed to a pout.

Heechul ignored the comment and bowed to Yunho as a greeting, which the guy replied with a slight bow and a smile.

“Do you need a lift? We can drop you off.” Yunho offered as he casually slang an arm over his son’s shoulders.

“Thanks, but I have to go somewhere before I head home.”

“I see, take care then.” Yunho then slightly bowed to excuse himself and Jaejoong before laying his hands on his son’s shoulders. “Shall we go?”

“Aye, aye, sir!” Jaejoong saluted, imitating those soldiers he had seen on TV a few times.

Yunho opened the front door and shut it close once Jaejoong was in place, then went over to the other side and got in. “How’s my baby’s day?” He threw his boy a sideward glance with a wide smile displayed on his face before speeding off.

“I’m no longer your baby.” Jaejoong teased, admiring the beam on his dad’s lips.

“Aww, that breaks my heart.” Yunho played along, biting his lip while his face faked a pained look to add effect on his remarkable act.

Jaejoong giggled at how silly his father was; a proof that Yunho was indeed, young. He remembered what Heechul said once, that he and his father can pass as brothers. “Rella said our childhood days are over. He even had his first kiss.” He opened up, spilling everything to his father. Jaejoong had been accustomed to telling his father whatever it was that crossed his mind. “When did appa have his first kiss?” He shamelessly asked what had been tickling his curiosity.

“When I was 11, I think.” Yunho recalled with effort close to none.

Jaejoong’s jaw dropped while his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Eleven?!” He still couldn’t believe his ears.

Yunho chuckled at his son’s reaction. He loved seeing those odd expressions only Jaejoong could pull off. “I had you when I was 12, so yeah.”

Jaejoong made a pout. “Not fair. I’m already fifteen but I haven’t got my first kiss. Rella is right, I should have it soon.”

“You can’t.” Yunho frankly stated.

“Why not?” Jaejoong turned to his father, only to find a smug look on his face.

“Because appa said so.” Yunho flicked the boy’s head with a finger then placed his hand back to the gear.

“So unfair.” Jaejoong did his signature pout as he rubbed his forehead. “Oh! I just realized, Rella kissed a guy!” He spilled, yet again, another secret. “That makes him gay, right?” Yunho gave him a short nod. “Is that wrong?”

“What makes one thing wrong is when it feels wrong. Are you bothered by it?” Yunho stole a glance at a serious-looking Jaejoong who shook his head. “Good. I never raised you to look down on anyone.”

Jaejoong had to admit he felt relieved. For a second, he thought his dad would forbid him to hangout with Heechul who had been his only friend, now that they knew he was gay. “So, you don’t mind if Rella and I would remain friends, right?” He threw his father a hopeful look although he knew he’d get a yes.

“As long as it doesn’t harm my baby in any way.” Yunho smiled whole-heartedly. He couldn’t possibly deprive his own son what the boy yearned for. Besides, Jaejoong had no one else other than himself and his friend.

Jaejoong lunged himself onto his father, circling his arms around the man’s neck, that caused Yunho to abruptly step on the break. “Thank you, appa.”

Yunho would have scold Jaejoong for such reckless act, but seeing his son happy just eased his anger away. Despite the blowing horns directed at them, he chose to wrap his arms around the boy instead of pushing him away that very moment, thinking that a few more second like that wouldn’t hurt. “Anything for my baby.”

---

January 7, 2009

Dear Diary,

Rella teased me a lot today, bragging about his first kiss.

Hmmmmm~

I wonder if it feels as good as he claimed it to be.

*puckers lips*

Aish! I shouldn’t think about it. Appa said I can’t kiss anyone, so I won’t. I don’t want to betray appa’s trust.

Right! I would just ignore Rella when he brings the topic on next time. I hope he won’t get mad at me though.

Anyway…

*sighs*

*fidgets*

I’m extremely bothered by another thing Rella told me. He joked about marrying appa, and that’s okay. But what if appa really wants to get married again? I surely wouldn’t mind having Rella around, but I don’t think he’d be a good mom to me ‘cause we’re the same age, plus, he can’t be a mom!

*sighs again*

What if appa really wants to marry a girl whom I don’t know?

T____T

*sulks*

*pulls hair*

*bites lips*

I don’t know what I would do if that ever happens. I don’t want to share my appa with anyone. Appa didn’t teach me to be selfish, but he also taught me not to lie, so I can be honest, right?

I’m happy having just my appa. I don’t mind living the rest of my life without a mom.

P/S: MY APPA IS MINE!

♥,

Joongie

---

Yunho leaned his back against the gas lift chair and stretched his arms above his head as he heard a nock. He was thankful that his boy had not forgotten the etiquettes he had taught Jaejoong. He might be considered as a strict father but Jaejoong had always been an angel so there had never been a hassle between them. Even the simplest rule – knock before you enter – had been etched to the boy’s memory. “Come in.”

Carrying a huge teddy, Jaejoong could hardly see his father even with his head tilted to the side. “Can I sleep here?”

Yunho took his glasses off and turned away from his laptop and the document he had been working on, to take a better look at the pajama-clad boy. “And you say you’re no longer my baby?”

Knowing immediately that it was a yes, Jaejoong ran past Yunho and jumped on the bed. “I can sleep with the lights on. Go on with your work. Good night, appa.” He pulled the blanket up to his chin before snuggling to Mr. Pokky, the bear his father had given him as a birthday present.

“Nah, I should call it a day.” Yunho turned his laptop off and flicked the lights off then went to the other side of the bed. The only source of light was the light sitting on the nightstand on Jaejoong’s side.The said light illuminated his son’s angelic face and Yunho could only admire. Jaejoong had surely grown up to a very beautiful young man. “How old is Mr. Pokky again?”

“Four. Appa is getting old. You always forget.” Jaejoong giggled.

“Of course not. I’m the hottest and youngest appa out there!” Yunho lifted the blanket to settle himself beside the boy.

“Hmm~ maybe you’re right. Rella said he wants to marry you someday, but he was only joking.” He said, looking up to his dad.

“Do you want him to be your umma?”

“No!” Jaejoong shook his head in opposition.

“Well, neither do I. It would be like marrying my own son.” Yunho chuckled at the thought.

“Will – ” Jaejoong broke the eye contact in hesitation. “Will you get married again?”

Yunho smiled and pulled Jaejoong closer, stroking the boy’s hair. “Only if you want me to.” He planted a kiss on his son’s forehead.

Jaejoong felt the knot in his chest untying itself. “In that case, I don’t want to. I’m sorry.” Jaejoong buried his head onto his father’s chest.

“Don’t be, I’m just as happy with your decision.” Yunho pulled Jaejoong’s smaller form close to him.

“No.” The boy shook his head against Yunho’s toned chest. “I’m sorry because you told me not to be selfish and greedy. But I want appa all for myself.”

The smile on Yunho’s face couldn’t have grown any wider. “Is that what brought you here?” He felt Jaejoong nod in his embrace. “You’re forgiven.”

“So, promise me you won’t get married again.” Jaejoong looked up once again.

“I promise, just as long as you won’t give away your precious first kiss to anyone other than your special someone.”

“But I don’t have a special someone other than you. Should I kiss Rella?”

Yunho chuckled once more. “No, what you feel for Heechul and I is different from that kind of special I was saying. One day, you’ll meet that one person you’d want to give your whole heart to.”

“But I can’t love anyone more than I love my appa.”

“And I can’t love anyone more than I love my baby. You’re the only thing in this world I can call mine.” Yunho kissed Jaejoong’s temple over and over as if it was the only thing he could do.

“I’m yours, appa. No one else’s but yours.”

---

A/N: I'm not officially back. The other PC hasn't recovered yet, so yeah, im still on semi-hiatus. Plus, im having my exams this week, later to be precise.

The Great Escape - Doubleshot

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 03:02:23 GMT

Title: The Great Escape
Author: ~robin~
Length: 1/2
Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17
Bands: TVXQ/DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift.
Summary: A punishment Jaejoong readily takes. [Sequel to Dangerously Low and Wake up Call]
Notes: Written for cherryhatescake . Im really sorry for the delay. I'm not gonna make any excuse. I'm really sorry~ There's and embed mp3 inside.

*._.*._.*anthology*._.*._.*

Grooving to the beat, Jaejoong swayed his hands above his head with the slightest care, knowing full well that with him on the dance floor, nothing could go wrong. There was nothing else that could hold his interest as much as dancing did. Well, there was, or rather, had been one exception; the man he had met almost a week ago. But then again, the chance of seeing the guy again was next to zero. Oh how he had imagined dancing for that man. He continued dancing to himself, swaying his hips from side to side and front to back.

The Hero everyone knew was just an ordinary Jaejoong tonight. He managed to hide his identity with a pair of black-rimmed glasses, a bucket hat, a scarf and a light leather jacket. This night was supposed to be his me-time that was meant for him to enjoy. The weight of having to please the crowd was temporarily off his shoulders as he danced in disguise.

With movements as wild and precise as his, it was impossible to overlook such scene he didn’t mean to cause. He had been approached countless times but all had been brushed off with a sway of his hand, which was effortlessly in harmony with every swing of his body.

In no time, he lost himself in the music, amidst the mass of moving bodies around him. There was nothing else that mattered but him against the music as if they were in a battle. Every beat the music called, he answered with a movement unique to him. He got so lost that he might not find his way back, but who cares anyway.

Again, the image of the man sitting right in front of him flashed in his mind. He had to close his eyes as if to trap that image in for a while. He kept on rocking his body as savour the memory of the man looking, gawking, and watching his every move. He didn’t know what the man had that set him apart. He just, stood out.

Maybe it was the man’s eyes, sharp at the edges and deep. It could be the man’s physique, the broad shoulders and the lean torso. Perhaps it was the way he carried himself, that indifferent aura surrounding him.

The thought of bringing, hauling the man over to Jaejoong’s own world was too intoxicating, so damn enthralling that his imagination might never meet its ending. The things he wanted to do to the man were on an endless list. He’d do anything to drive the man to the edge and willingly come with him.

---

Dressed still in his suit, Yunho made his way through the crowd. Heading to where he had been fantasizing to go to for as long as he could remember. He had just about enough of those dreams plagued by a certain man named Jaejoong. It was insane how just a few minutes of what was supposedly plain entertainment caused much havoc in him.

He had no clue of his chances meeting Jaejoong that night, nor was he bothered by it. He will see Jaejoong tonight. Yunho’s mind was set and there was no stopping him.

“Sorry.” Yunho idly mumbled upon brutally colliding with someone, then proceeded on his journey.

“Yunho?”

He turned back as he heard his name, almost thinking it was his imagination playing tricks on him since it was practically impossible to hear one’s voice amidst the blaring music. As he realized that he wasn’t mistaken, he tried to recall who the familiar man was. “Junsu.”

“What brought you here?” Came Junsu’s curious question.

Feeling as if he was caught red-handedly while executing a crime, Yunho froze on the spot. It was way too embarrassing to admit that he was loo –

“Ah, looking for Jaejoong?” Bull’s eye.

Yunho only managed an awkward smile. He could only hope this Junsu guy won’t tell Yoochun. Nah, he couldn’t give Yoochun the satisfaction of knowing how desperate he was for Jaejoong. “Can we keep this to ourselves?”

After a short chuckle, Junsu nodded. “By the way, it’s Jaejoong’s day-off.”

To say that Yunho’s heart and hope sank was an understatement. The poor guy couldn’t even mumble a reply.

Seeing Yunho in dismay, Junsu patted the man’s shoulder. “But he’s here everyday, good luck finding him.” With that, he disappeared, leaving Yunho at a loss.

Yunho wasted no time. Upon hearing the good news, his feet found their rhythm. Calm and collected, he squeezed himself through the gliding bodies on the dance floor. It was only normal to get people’s head turning as you walked past them if you are Jung Yunho. But of course! Who could ignore that aura he (might not even know he) possessed.

With sure steps, his long legs took long strides while his head turned from side to side.

---

It was as if Jaejoong’s body had a mind of its own as it moved wildly without the slightest care for the world around him. With closed eyes and head slightly tilted to the side, his body grooved while his hips rocked ever so dangerously to the beat.

Oblivious to his surroundings, Jaejoong didn’t feel an approaching presence until his chin was caught by long fingers. His initial reaction was to push the intruder away, and he did just that. Once he opened his eyes, he realized who it was he pushed away, almost regretting his action all at once. He would have loved it better if the man was near, so near that he could move against that lean body.

Jaejoong could only stare. He never imagined a man could look so damn good in a suit. The man was looking at him with that unexpressive handsome face of his and Jaejoong could already picture the things he could do to bring pleasure on those features.

Biting the right half of his lip, Jaejoong stretched his arm, raised his hand and curled a finger to call upon the man.

Without any objection, Yunho trudged for ward. He couldn’t bring himself to think how such a simple movement, a curl of a finger, could be so exciting that sweat was starting to form on his forehead. Then again, it was Jaejoong concerned here. And the said Jaejoong was yet again, clad in tight jeans which were riding ever so low on his hips. Once within reach, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong by the side of his head and whispered, “You’ve been naughty, plaguing my dreams like that.” He breathed against Jaejoong’s neck.

Jaejoong could only tilt his head to the side, wanting more of the hot sensation Yunho was giving him. And more, he definitely got. He soon felt a wet, hot and long trail from his neck, across his jaw and up to his ears.

Screw discretion.

Without warning, Yunho’s other hand went for that treasure trapped within the tight-fitting jeans which hugged Jaejoong’s butt oh-so alluringly. He cupped the said anatomy with one hand and gave it a not so light squeeze. “You have to be punished for being naughty.”

“Bring it on.”

</div>
Dont Stop The Music - Rihanna</div>

</div>

---

A/N: I need y sexy museeeee~

Sweetest of Vengeance - Epilogue

withchunter_robin@yahoo.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:26:58 GMT

Title: Sweetest of Vengeance
Author: ~robin~
Chapter: Epilogue
Genre: Incest, Humor, Drama, Romance, AU, High School
Rating: NC-17 (Overall)
Bands: DBSK
Pairing: Jaeho/Yunjae
Warning: Yaoi, Language, Incest
Disclaimer: That would be a nice gift
Summary: Jaejoong had always hated his brother, Yunho, for being ahead of him in almost every matter. Yunho was the ideal guy, the ideal student, the ideal son, while he was none of those. But there was one thing Jaejoong was sure he way, by far, better than his brother; Jaejoong knew he was gorgeous and he knew exactly how to use it.
Beta Reader/s: roslanshahirah & moon1084
Notes: It’s finally over. And woah, im out of words. I just hope my readers enjoyed the story. I’m going to miss you all. Here it is, the not so awaited last installment.

*._.*-*._.*anthology*._.*-*._.*

Who ever said Jaejoong wasn’t allowed to bitch around might as well go to hell because the raven was just about to do so. “Darn it Heechul!” He shook the skinny model before him, not even bothering for an honorific. He held the guy by the thin arms and shaking him so bad as if he was some flavored French fries.

“Ouch!” Even the sole heir of the bitch queen, Heechul, couldn’t do a thing to save his poor self from the furious Jaejoong. The younger boy was one hell of a nuisance that had become too much for him too handle. “Don’t chuck your balls of fury at my direction, kid. It wasn’t my fault that he left.” Seriously, Jaejoong was doing good pulling his last straw, too bad for the boy, the skinny guy wasn’t born with a good amount of patience. “Stop molesting me or you’ll get it.”

“But Heechul!” Jaejoong pulled his hand back, letting go of the older guy. He hadn’t whined for such a long time, thus, it gave him the idea that he could whine all he wanted.

It had been two days, decades in Jaejoong’s calendar, since Yunho had departed with a heavy heart. But of course, who wouldn’t be saddened when your special someone wouldn’t escort you to the airport? Jaejoong refused to see his brother leave, that was why. Instead, the raven busied himself moving to his cousin’s place after a not so long negotiation with his parents. Nah, it wasn’t that he was being heartless, inconsiderate, indifferent, cold-blooded person, (oh well, maybe just a bit) he was just afraid his mind would change the last minute and ran after Yunho. Besides, he had seen enough dramas to know how heart shattering, mind bugling and pulse racing it would be to watch Yunho leave, and he wasn’t stupid enough to try it for himself.

And that exactly was why Heechul was facing such a fit from his younger cousin. At first, the model had no clue as to what and why the boy was bitching around, not to mention at his unit, like no one’s business. He could only shake his head, thinking how the raven had seemed to have overdosed on bitch pills. It had been pretty tolerable the day before; Jaejoong was only being grumpy with his lips puckered into a pout. But eventually, the aura around the boy had become gloomier until Heechul could almost see dark smoke surrounding the raven.

But what had caused all the havoc Heechul now had was, well, himself. He made a huge mistake when he tried to console his cousin, thinking that it was his job to tend to his depressed dongsaeng. “Come on Joongie, cheer up! You’ll get ugly if you keep that frown on your face for another second.” The model could still clearly remember what brought this doomed fate his. He should have known better not to mention the u-word, especially when Jaejoong was in a foul mood. It was like a secret password to awaken the beast within.

Heechul’s disorientation didn’t last though. It wasn’t more than an hour when Jaejoong revealed what had been bothering him through a shriek, screaming how much he missed Yunho. Yeah, just when the model thought he had been freed from confusion, he was mistaken, utterly mistaken. He had known long ago that Yunho and Jaejoong had always been in good terms, cat and dog kind of good terms, where Jaejoong was the dogs who kept on barking at the nonchalant cat who only cares about meow-ing. Hence, Heechul could only reply with an equally loud if not even louder “You what?!”

The raven replied with an “I said! I miss that stupid, bastard, but quite nice, somewhat caring, oh so charming, damn hot Yunho!”

Heechul could only watch as Jaejoong stomped a few times, then a few more, then again, and again, before yelling “Darn it! I miss him so much!” That was when the skinny guy decided it was time for Jaejoong to calm down, before the walls of his apartment could collapse. He offered the younger one a glass of water which had a positive effect. Not long after, he heard the whole story, although hearing the very detailed first night was rather uncalled for. He almost thought he would hear the end of it, luckily, he did. Heechul promised to keep the secret safe, after being threatened of his dear life.

“Yunho –yah!” Jaejoong whined for the nth time, as if his brother could hear him. It was way more that obvious that he had regretted his decision. He knew he was going to miss Yunho, but it was beyond his knowledge and forecast that he would miss his brother this much. “AH! I shouldn’t have let him go! He’s going to miss me so bad! Poor guy.”

All had been painful to watch from Heechul’s point of view. He cursed at his luck at how he was free for three days with no photo shoots, commercial filming or a runway show. He would have accepted the lowest paying offer for his sanity’s sake. If he had known this day would come, he would have considered taking Psychology in college. He could tend to Jaejoong’s, who was doing a good job at playing a psychopath patient.

---

The third day came and Jaejoong was, well, still being a patient, with no signs of improvement at all. He was badly missing Yunho, I’m-gonna-lose-it-in-three-two-one kind of badly, Heechul mused. Poor thing, Jaejoong was totally all in for the guy. The model could only sigh and wish there was a thing he could do. “Joongie.” He cooed, rubbing his hands at the raven’s back who was currently curled up into a ball on the couch. He was somewhat, scratch that, he was extremely amazed at how Jaejoong had changed in a short time. The Jaejoong he had known would never let anyone see him in such state, nah, the raven always had to be the next closest thing to perfection. He liked the change though, besides, if Jaejoong decided, he’d rather fix and prep himself up instead of moping, the model might lose his job to his cousin. “Joongie, be a man and stand up for your decision.”

“But I’m the girl in the relationship.” Jaejoong snapped, turning his head to Heechul to scowl at the older guy before returning to his previous position.

“Er – That’s not what I meant.” The skinny guy had to look sideways to avoid rolling his eyes. “Joongie, you can’t book a contract in that state.” Heechul tried to soothe the raven for a change since his previous strategy, if he had one, obviously didn’t work. “Or are you giving up on your – I wanna be a supermodel – dream?”

Jaejoong’s ear twitched, well, almost twitched, upon hearing Heechul’s caveat. “No freaking way.”

Heechul grinned to himself, relieved and proud of himself that he finally got through to the seemingly rock-hard headed raven. Seriously, if that didn’t work, he didn’t know what would. “Well, I suggest that you better make a move, now or never.”

The raven slowly straightened himself. “What should I do?” Yes, he was still moping about Yunho’s migration and still missed the guy madly, but he can’t do the same thing forever, can he? After all, the likes of him were not supposed to sulk their lives away, they were meant to be famous, baby.

“Come with me.” Heechul pulled his cousin by the wrist, dragging the younger boy to god knows where. “I have twice your shower gel and bubble bath collection.” He pushed the raven towards the bathroom with no second thoughts, knowing exactly what he was doing. “Pamper yourself all you want. I’ll make an appointment with my manager to meet you.” The raven followed his orders like an obedient kid would for a reward. He couldn’t help but pity the younger one who apparently missed the joys of childhood. And as things were looking, Jaejoong was re-living his neglected childhood days. He sighed and shook his head, a smile surfacing his features not long after. This must be Yunho’s doing, he assumed.

Jaejoong lazily turned the tap on, filling the bath tub with lukewarm water. He then went to the cupboard and his eyes practically glittered at the sight of Heechul’s infamous collection. Well, he might just enjoy his stay. But the thought of living with Yunho seemed more enjoyable than those bubble baths and shower gels. “Aish!” He shook his head in hopes of brushing the thought off. Nah, thinking about Yunho will only depress him. He went back with the chosen bubble baths in hand, stripped himself and made himself all comfy in the tub.

The raven lowered himself so the water level was just below his nose. He released a long sigh, forming bubbles on the slightly bubbly bath. Try as he might, he couldn’t get Yunho off his mind. It reminded him of that feeling he had after having sex with his brother for the first time. Oh what a torture that had been for his poor little brain.

He pulled his knees closer to his body to lean against it. He wasn’t as grumpy and bitchy as the day before and the other day, but that didn’t mean he felt better. In fact, screaming his heart out felt much better. Hmm, he might as well do that again.

“Joongie?” Heechul called as he opened the spacious bathroom’s door.

Jaejoong looked up to see Heechul by the door, not really minding if the model would see him naked. “Yes?”

“Here, for your eye bags.” The model handed the raven a couple of sliced cucumber and eye covers.

He put the eye covers on with the cucumbers trapped in between the lids of his eyes and the cover. “Thank you. Ah, that feels better.”

“Enjoy!”

Jaejoong nodded then leaned his head back at the edge of the tub while his arms were hanging on both sides. He willed himself to relax, after all, it was the purpose of this – pamper yourself – thing. “Yunho-yah! If you won’t come in ten seconds, I will hate you forever.” He paid no mind to how silly it was to speak to someone who was million miles away.

“Ten.”

“Nine.”

“Eight.”

“Seven.”

“Six.”

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One and a half.”

“Okay, I’m just kidding.” Jaejoong had to bit his trembling lips. “Come back now, please.” Good thing he had the eye covers on, if not, he would practically be crying out loud now. “Yunho-yah, ten more seconds. I’m serious this time.”

“Ten.”

“Nine – Five.”

“Four.” His voice started cracking.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“”Yunho-yah! I know you’re there.” The raven continued self talking, completely lost in his own world. “Ah, you must be mad at me for pushing you away.” He fell silent for a good minute or two. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“Yunho. Come back now.”

“Ah, you were mad because I didn’t answer you that time, right?”

“Okay, I’ll answer you now.”

“Just promise you’ll be here after I count again.”

Jaejoong took a deep breath. “Hyung, I love you too.”

“Te– ” His breath got caught in his throat as he felt a very familiar touch on his hand that was hanging on the side of the tub. The circular movement of a thumb on the back of his hand not only burned his skin but set his chest to fire. His lips uncontrollably trembled as the ministration went on and on and on. He didn’t have the strength to take the eye covers off in fear that everything had just been his imagination. His knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists out of fear. Feeling those lips that he had been missing to death land on his hand, his fist loosened while his free hand had to clasp his mouth as if to hold the sobs. But it didn’t.

He felt himself being pulled as his tears went non stop, sobbing against the shoulder he had used to lean on to every night. The familiar hand that had always handled him with care was at the back of his head, caressing and soothing like always, while the other hand was wrapped around his bare back. The hand at the back of his head worked on the eye cover to free him, but Jaejoong didn’t have the courage to open his eyes. “Dear god, I must be hallucinating.” He breathed out when he finally got over the sobs.

Jaejoong’s lips were then caught by another, inviting him for a dance. The rhythm, he knew that rhythm, very much.

“Hallucinations never felt that good.”

It was the voice that finally had Jaejoong’s eyes fluttering open. “Yunho!” The raven couldn’t believe his eyes, as much as he wanted to. Every nerve in his body was pretty much jumping for joy but his whole body was immobile.

“I’m back.” Yunho warmly smiled at the bewildered Jaejoong. It was almost funny, the look on the raven’s face that was, how happiness and the need to cry was evident on Jaejoong’s features.

“Ho-how long have you been here?” The younger one stuttered, still in a state of shock.

“Since Heechul made his way out.”

A blush crept up the raven’s face as the realization hit him. It was embarrassing, wait, that was an understatement. “Did you hear me saying all those…?”

“Loud and clear.” The older one’s smile grew wider, earning a pout from the raven.

“But why are you here? How about your studies?”

“It’s a long story, let’s just say I have a better plan. And oh, a better sponsor, much better than mom and dad.” Three days have been enough, more than enough actually, to awaken him. He now knew what to chose over which. Jaejoong, he was all he needed, not knowledge of any sorts, not even maturity and independence. “I came across a man who was willing to support my entire university expenses.” If it wasn’t luck, he didn’t know what is.

“Oh god, Dad is so going to kill you.”

“You know what? I don’t care.” With that said, Yunho claimed Jaejoong’s lips once again. It was his turn to play the bad boy.

---

A/N: Beware. This is going to be one hell of an author's note. It's my last so, forgive me?

First off, it was kind of odd and somewhat(just a tad bit) sad on my part that no one has yet to give me a constructive criticism. I was actually expecting somebody would criticize this, especially since it's incest. I could picture someone saying how unrealistic this had been, how i went overboard with the figures of speech and stuff. It would have helped me to improve as a writer, but then again, the lack of concrit could also mean a positive thing.

Second, THANK YOU! I'm still quite unsure if i want to force EVERYONE(yes, baby) who have read the whole series to comment on this last part. I just want to thank each one of you individually. But if that would be much trouble,you don't have to bother. So, to those who reaallllyyy appreciated my work, leave me at least a one word comment or a blank message.

To those who have been with me althroughout, my beta readers, my wife, and the friends i made through this fic, thank you and ilu guys.

To those who have added me to read the lock part/s, thank you for exerting such effort. Since this fic is now done, you may delete me if you don't want to see anymore of my trash on your friends page.XD i won't mind, really. As for me, im willing to keep you all as long as you want to stay.

And, i guess this won't be the last time you'd see me on detox or on hug, but if my other future works might not be to your liking, feel free to contact me here or on my personal journal (tora_x_robin )

I'm so going to miss everyone.

This has been robin, your official drama queen.
♥